News That Will Drive You To Drink

Happy Hour News Briefs

Hey guys, remember that time a week or so ago when a bunch of fetus-fondling gawd-botherers laid their hands on Comrade Preznint Stupid, you know to pray for him?

Well one of them, pastor Rodney Howard-Browne has an update, and that’s that there is a plot on Capitol Hill to “take him out” (not Capitol Hill in Seattle, the other one).

Let’s listen in as he tells us all about it

…and today, he has an update:

So, he won’t spill the beans on who spilled the beans to him, what the plot is, or when it will happen, but keeps using this phrase “take him out.” So has he contacted the Secret Service or the FBI to let them know? It seems not.

But you know, you can pray over your wallet and send a few Ameros to ol’ Rodney to keep that prayer warrior up to his eyebrows in hookers and blow, uh, holy pizza or whatevs, while standing guard around that picture of Hair Führer’s toupé’s seam, for Jeebus.

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5 Responses to News That Will Drive You To Drink

  1. Mr DeBakey says:

    Has anyone been able to figure out what these Jesus People see in the So-Called President?
    I don’t see where their lives intersect with this pussy-grabbing, serial aldulterator, liar, crook and Agent of a Foreign Power.

    Help Me Somebody

    Like

    • Steve-O says:

      They see Carrot Harkonnen putting activist conservative judges on the Supreme Court, overturning Roe v. Wade, the suppression of all women’s (and LGTBQ) rights, and the start of the Republic of Gilead.
      They are about as Christian as the coffee cup by my side.

      Like

    • Karla says:

      He’s pissing off hippies (aka libruls), and the jebus-freaks love that.

      Like

  2. paul fredine says:

    were i one who believed in the efficacy of prayer, i’d start a circle to pray they’d just go away.

    Like

  3. Feline Mama says:

    But, Rod, jeebus & his dad are all over this already. Didn’t get the email/memo, huh.

    Like

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