News That Will Drive You To Drink

Happy Hour News Briefs

Rainbow Chips? Naw, Starnes is crackers

Hey guys, it’s been a while since we checked in with our old pal Todd Starnes. You know the smarmy, awe-shucks, olde-timey, Elmer Gantry wanna-be grifter who uses every chance to push one of his books. His latest tome, published in February is The Deplorables’ Guide to Making America Great Again (Amazon sales rank: 18,177 most popular books; the NYTimes—FAKE NEWS!!1! won’t rank it), in which he tries to use both Trump and Clinton buzzwords to sell his book.

Anyway, as you may recall, Fox News has given Starnes a 3-hour radio block of time for his program, and today we listen in for a few minutes as Starnes looses his shit and goes to go full-on, balls-out, hammer-down, mad-monkey, terrordome crazy:

Why, bless his heart. He’s so sweet sugar wouldn’t melt on his lips.

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10 Responses to News That Will Drive You To Drink

  1. osirisopto says:

    We should leave him alone with Alex Jones, a bottle of tequila and the personals section of an Italian alternative newspaper.


  2. Big Bad Bald Bastard says:

    Blood lust, my ass, I just want to see Don, Jr in jail. For the record, I think that prisons should be humane… I don’t need a secular proxy for Hell.


  3. Big Bad Bald Bastard says:

    OOOOOF, his diction and cadence are so bizarre, I couldn’t even imagine the most deplorable person in the world listening to him for more than a minute. It’s as if Paul Harvey ingested a kilo of the brown acid, and followed it up with a handful of quaaludes.


  4. Karla says:

    Projection projection projection.


  5. roket says:

    Remove the talking points and he’s got nothing.


  6. MDavis says:

    Cheese and crackers!
    What to do, here, support our president (*shudder*) or support the presidency? It’s not that common that you have to pick one or the other.


  7. HarpoSnarx says:

    Sounds like sqwawk Tawdy needs another roadside rest area break.


  8. A.J. says:

    If his book is titled “The Deplorables’ Guide…”, what are you admitting if you buy it?


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