Peace at Last: Trump’s Fratsputin Heads To Middle East

Fashion-forward douche-bro Jared Kushner is packing the ol’ flack blazer and heading to the Middle East to broker world peace between the jewishes and the palestineos:

Going on the trip will be White House senior adviser Jared Kushner, who is Trump’s son-in-law and husband of his daughter Ivanka Trump, and Jason Greenblatt, a top national security aide. Greenblatt will arrive in the region on Monday and Kushner on Wednesday.

Gotta love that: Greenblatt arrives, does the work, then Kushner arrives and does exactly what?

…Kushner and Greenblatt will have meetings in Jerusalem and Ramallah to hear directly from the Israeli and Palestinian leadership “about their priorities and potential next steps,” the official said.

Because, gee, no one knows that they want. ‘Tis a mystery why no one ever thought to ask before.

Then Fratsputin have some avo toast, once he’s done with that, and sign a few deals, and maybe look into what their extradition policy is with the United States, you know, just in case.

I’m not opposed to sending Fratsputin to the Middle East, I get bummed thinking about his return.

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8 Responses to Peace at Last: Trump’s Fratsputin Heads To Middle East

  1. osirisopto says:

    “then Kushner arrives and does exactly what?”

    Buys rundown apartment buildings, fires the super and raises the rent.

    Like

  2. roket says:

    Um, there’s a UN for that. It’s in NYC, too.

    Like

  3. Fratsputin is there to do a photo-op of the groundbreaking for the new Ramallah Trump Tower.

    Like

  4. Laura says:

    Advancing some business interests.
    Trump Ramallah International
    Trump Jerusalem International
    *invest now, construction planned for a future date.
    Maybe

    Like

  5. Bruce388 says:

    Since Donnie said Middle East peace wouldn’t be all that difficult, I predict Jared will get it done in, oh, four Covfefe Units.

    Like

  6. Big Bad Bald Bastard says:

    They sent him out ahead of the subpoena.

    Like

  7. paul fredine says:

    and if something should happen (and i’m definitely not hoping that something will) just think of the ratings for the funeral, not to mention all the retweets of ivanka welcoming the casket back home, taking advantage of a great chance to sell the dress and jewelry. i mean, he’s just a son-in-law. expendable. it’s not like he’s really family.
    and yes, i’m being sarcastic, just in case the secret service is listening.

    Like

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