Sizzle and Fizzle, fo’ Shizzle (The Summary — UPDATED)

“I’m coming Donnie”

SIZZLE: the big day arrives and former FBI Director Comey gets to tell us about a doomed relationship. I’ve worked long enough in corporate America to know that the Russian Usurper is trying to make a problem go away, like you would at work: by decree, unquestioned and immediate. He’s too dumb to know that’s not how it works outside of the corner office.

Top Dem Adam Schiff thinks he sees Obstruction of Justice in Comey’s statement:

“It is certainly evidence of interference or obstruction,” Schiff said during an interview with The Washington Post’s David Ignatius, adding, “The question I think is, where does this action fit in with other actions of the president.”

And it wouldn’t be The Swamp without some psy-ops:

FIZZLE: Mike ‘Payola’ Allen writing the morning email thingie at Axios is having no love:

For all the cable-news talk of smoking guns, top Republicans were authentically relieved by what they read in the afternoon bombshell.

Their reaction puzzled me at first, but here’s a truth bomb: Comey’s seven-page, 3,100-word statement describes unusual, unprecedented and, to most, disturbing behavior by the president. But it presents no new information that proves a crime…

Be smart: The road ahead is long. Comey’s statement is captivating, but not grounds for impeachment. The threshold for any action is much higher than many think, because Republicans alone will set it.

“The document has considerable entertainment value in its dead-pan account of a profound mismatch, a Washington buddy movie gone bad. It’s a tale of a bureaucratically agile and self-serving careerist matched against an institutionally ignorant and self-serving outsider. One is careful, memorializing every conversation and calculating his every more; the other is blundering around in the dark — and eventually blows the whole thing up.”

The RNC has leaked their game plan:

Odd how Michael Flynn’s name is never mentioned once, innit? AND if you read the document you will be left with the odd sensation that Comey’s testimony vindicates Trump, and Comey is also an unethical liar who should be ignored. Double speak lives another day!

(For shitz and giggles, someone should play along at home and see which Republicans are so brain dead as to use these phrases and make these points.)

Fo’ SHIZZLE: The Russian Usurper speaks at the Faith and Freedom Coalition’s Road to the Majority Conference at 12:15 p.m., and then will host governors and mayors at the White House for an infrastructure summit at 3:30. (Because it’s INFRASTRUCTURE WEEK!!1!) But he has no events in the morning, you know, when the hearing start at 10 AM eastern. So what’s the Vegas odds on his twattering?

So play your cards right, Swamp People, and have  a fun day today:

“By the time details from Mr. Comey’s prepared remarks surfaced on Wednesday … the hearing had leapt from Beltway curiosity to required viewing, a cliffhanger episode of the nation’s real-life reality show. … At Union Pub in Washington, a sports bar steps from the Hart Senate Office Building, bartenders plan to dole out a free round of Budweisers or bourbon shots every time Mr. Trump blasts out a tweet. For those wondering: No, there will not be a limit. ‘We’ll give out 20 rounds’ if the president tweets 20 times, Ashley Saunders, the bar’s general manager, said.”

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2 Responses to Sizzle and Fizzle, fo’ Shizzle (The Summary — UPDATED)

  1. osirisopto says:

    My favorite right wingnut talking point is: “The left and the media are using Trumps treason as a means to obstruct the presnintial agenda.”

    The only way it could be better is if they trotted out the electoral college map showing how many states were pledged to him to support their demand to respect the legitimacy of Trumps electoral win and disprove any claims of Russian interferance in our election.

    B.Clinton was impeached because of a blue dress. So, it’s obvious that the Russian Puppet can’t be because of the red ink.

    РOCOMAXA!!1!!!

    BTW: Officialish Presnintial Agenda

  2. Tax cut plan = non-existant
    Infrastructure plan = officially only a matter of “principal” and memorialized as such in front of many witnesses. On television.
    Southern border wall = mere fantasy in the drug addled minds of trumpian supporters, not even mentioned by anyone in DC for longer than I can remember.
    Saudi arms deal – a discussion of a thing to think about doing sometime in the future depending on how the Saudis feel about it at the time.
    JOBS! JOBS! JOBS! – steady decline in new job creation since end of Obama term. Even the FED sees it as a trend that is impacting their planning to fleece the poor. More poor to fleece.
    Diplomacy – Have some cake. “What’s that smell? Oh, they just spread fertilizer on the lawn next door. Eat up.”
    Overturning Obamacare – The only thing that might actually come to pass, but it’s the agenda the owners of the GOP and has been since 2010, not Trumps and it’s failing.
    Muslim travel ban – He keeps shooting himself in the foot on this one. Each. And. Every. Single. Time.
    Stop terrorism – HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA … We’d be better off if he encouraged it.
  3. Unofficial presnintil agenda –

  4. get foreign dignitaries, their entourage and the secret service to pay inflated prices for crappy food and crappier service at trump hotels and golf courses around the world. DONE!
    Play golf – Done
    Shit the bed – He just won’t stop.
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