News That Will Drive You To Drink

Happy Hour News Briefs

Kansas Family Fun Day for the New Confederacy

That’s GOVERNOR Kris Kobach to you!

Kansas Secretary of State Kris Kobach launched his campaign for Kansas governor on Thursday, decrying a culture of corruption in Topeka and vowing to crack down on illegal immigration in a speech with echoes of President Donald Trump.

Kobach, the architect of controversial election and immigration laws, advised Trump on immigration policy throughout the 2016 election. He emphasized his connections to the president and promised to center his campaign on fighting “corruption, taxation and illegal immigration” during a speech at the Thompson Barn in Lenexa.

During an appearance on the Star’s Facebook live show “Beer Hour” later that day, Kobach said that he had turned down positions at the White House and the U.S. Department of Homeland Security to remain in Kansas.

Looks like another stunning victory for Kansas’ straight, white Xristian cisgendered males. Dude is missing one K from being well-named, and what a coinky-dink: he hates everyone that that org hates. Whodathunkit, amiright?

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9 Responses to News That Will Drive You To Drink

  1. This is actually good-ish news, as K “minus one K” K was supposed to be heading up OJ’s hunt for the REAL killer Trumplethinskin’s hunt for the 3 million illegal voters.

    Guess that gig didn’t pan out.

    Suxrox for the people of Kansas, but it’s a bullet we dodged!


  2. jannydarling says:

    Do we know his middle name?


  3. HarpoSnarx says:

    It’ll be a landslide AND with no Russian outsourcing. Good thing the voters there are good sheep.


  4. paul fredine says:

    so, he turned down a chance to work with the trump administration to stay in kansas. well aren’t they lucky. meanwhile dorothy has started a gofundme page in order to get back to oz ASAP.


  5. Sirius Lunacy says:

    Some good news out of Kansas, even the Republican controlled state legislature has finally learned that supply side economics is a no-go.
    Unfortunately, I’m not expecting any of their colleagues at the federal level or in my state to learn from other’s mistakes.


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