News That Will Drive You To Drink

Happy Hour News Briefs

Coming to us from Branson MO, home of the other Rockettes, potato-slop magnate and noted grifter Rev. Jim Bakker tells us that those people killed at Arianna Grande’s Dangerous Woman Tour concert in Manchester England asked for it:

Because millenials have no manners and walked out on Pence, Gawd decided to kill little girls in Manchester at an Ariana Grande concert. (“Buy my Trump Prophecies Book Bundle!” scrolling the whole time.)

Seems legit.

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11 Responses to News That Will Drive You To Drink

  1. Patrick Day says:

    Hey Jimbo and your Bimbo!!!!! I’m pretty sure doesn’t give a FUCK about all of it if he allowed your grifting, immoral, felonious, potato-slop selling, Bruno resized anus, overall asshole, out of the prison, where the world was safe from your idiocy for at least a while. If you ever make it to the “Pearly Gates” you’re gonna experience the world’s longest Waterslide…..Preferably with the water turned off for your turn, so that the Road-Rash only gets bigger till the landing flattens your ugly face!!!


  2. roket says:

    Does the Right Rev. Jim Bakker have any idea why God flooded Branson, MO on April 30????? Asking for a friend.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Proof positive that Jim Bakker’s imaginary sky daddy is a fucking sociopathic monster. By that I mean Jim Bakker is a fucking sociopathic monster.


  4. To try and grasp his actual mind (FWIW) set, he’s saying teen girls and (let’s face it) probably not exactly throbbing examples of toxic masculinity deserve death, because they are the kind of young people he just can’t reach. Because they know what they like and enjoy it. And since I haven’t any babies, I’m just going to adopt all of Ariana Grande’s fans en masse and say “Hey, preacher–leave my kids alone!” (So reminiscent of Falwell and Robertson thinking up how the 9/11 victims earned their smoking cross–he’s at home with the terrorists’ mindset, but he’d rather peddle disaster chow while hedging “they could win, you know”. An utterly revolting personage. His son seems okay, but that’s all Tammy Faye’s doing.)


  5. Big Bad Bald Bastard says:

    American teens sass Pence, so God smites British teens? How can an omnipotent entity have such shitty aim?


    • E.A. Blair says:

      God’s been going downhill. He started out by creating the universe, then he killed all but Noah’s family, he smote the Egyptians, got born as a man, turned water into wine, walked on water, and now it seems that all he can do is put his image on toast and a dog’s butt.


      • Oblios_Cap says:

        I’m sure that Londoners and Parisians are happy he’s mellowed a bit over the last millennia and didn’t decide to give them the Sodom and Gomorrah treatment.


    • ming says:

      It’s almost like he is not there at all.


  6. E.A. Blair says:

    So, Mr. Bakker, let me get this right: ISIS Islamist terrorist are now the instruments of the will of the deity of the Judeo-Christian bible? I think that would qualify as heresy in all three Abrahamic religions.


  7. I fail to see a problem. Some olds have too much money and the Reverend Jimbo is helping them out. Grifters gotta grift, ya know.


  8. paul fredine says:

    that must be his way of interpreting ‘suffer the little children’. he must think it means ‘kill the little sinful bastards because they deserve it and that’s what my jeebus wants’. disgusting so-called christian piece-of-shit. hope he enjoys his special place in hell because he’s making reservations for himself in a deluxe suite.


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