News That Will Drive You To Drink

Happy Hour News Briefs

Seething Rage.
(image courtesy Scissorhead MonkeyFister)

Fox News resident psychological consultant (who may or may not be certified (!) and licensed to practice), Keith Ablow, presents the 6 ways to be a “better, stronger person by being more like the president.

Weeks ago, I wrote the first installment of TRUMPING YOUR LIFE, delivering three ways you can change your life by following the example of President Trump.

This is the second of five installments I plan to share. If you take this Trump-inspired self-help advice seriously, I believe it will significantly improve your existence.

…and that’s when I clicked the close tab.

This entry was posted in 4th Reich, Comrade Preznint Stupid, The Russian Usurper. Bookmark the permalink.

13 Responses to News That Will Drive You To Drink

  1. pwarten says:

    following the example of trump:
    1) buy a casino and run it into bankruptcy.
    2) kill an entire sports league
    3) sexually assault women left and right
    4) set up a fake online university and defraud people of millions of dollars
    5) be a racist SOB towards Mexicans, Chinese, Germans, and Blacks.
    that should turn you into a super human rich guy that’s the envy of everybody overnight!!!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. osirisopto says:

    I hear fox spews is gonna change their name.

    From now on they’ll be known as sycophants-r-us

    Like

  3. Bruce388 says:

    My foot hurts. Does that count?

    Like

  4. Get an unappealing tan, have a look at a straw colour palette to decide on a new hair colour, read politics for dummies and give up after once chapter, repeat fake news endlessly and insult anyone and everything. Did I miss a step?

    Like

  5. MDavis says:

    Ablow’s earlier article actually included “(Not Kidding!)” in the headline. Even Fox News and Ablow realize that advice to be more like Trump is ridiculous on the face of it.
    Also, the three suggestions are ways to be NOT Trump. So there’s that. There’s reference to big and worthy goals (Not a Trump thing, gold plating only), talking about love and friendship, (things trump is clueless about) and considering former competition as potential partners (Hah! The famously vindictive Trump!? Never happen.) So Ablow is, as always, either delusional or confident that his audience is delusional.

    Like

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