Breaking: Chaffetz is Retiring

Nothin’ goin’ on around here.


Thank you for allowing me to serve as your Representative in the United States House of Representatives. Serving is an honor and a privilege that I have never taken for granted.

After long consultation with my family and prayerful consideration, I have decided I will not be a candidate for any office in 2018.

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11 Responses to Breaking: Chaffetz is Retiring

  1. So, the long sleepless nights from committing treason have caught up to you…

    Or, wait! Is it because you lost the Monchichi cosplay competition to Kilmeade? C’mon, dish, you fucking muppet!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. roket says:

    He’s going to spend more time with his Peeps.


  3. Ed says:

    Good riddance you baby-faced fucktarded traitor.
    With any amount of justice remaining in our court system, you’ll still be subpoenaed.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. lisahgolden says:

    More lucrative job offer?


  5. he saw the Pee Pee Tape…

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Oblios_Cap says:

    I swear – these guys can’t do anything without praying about it and then deciding God wants them to do whatever it is they are planning to do. So much for personal responsibility.


  7. MDavis says:

    It is a simple case of Matthew 6:5
    They do it all the time and it is another example of ‘extreme biblical obedience for everyone else, even if they are not members of our religion – but we can safely ignore it’ in the interests of hypocrisy. Or politics – or whatever.


  8. JTO says:

    “We sent his crazy ass to DC so we could spend time without him” his family didn’t cry into the darkness.


  9. kilwer says:

    This gives him more time to look his daughter in the eye

    Liked by 1 person

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