News That Will Drive You To Drink

Happy Hour News Briefs

Jeebus weeps

Our Lady of Bountiful Pasta and Good Shoe Wear, the self-proclaimed prophetess Cindy ‘Harvest the Jews’ Jacobs has, um, another one of her patented, unprovable prophecies to prophesizel (is too a verb!):

Dear RPN,

As I was in prayer early this the morning, I felt strongly that we need to pray against a jihad car attack in the US. Pray especially for Washington, D.C., and other major cities.

And when it doesn’t happen, woot-woot! Another victory for Cindy!

In addition, let’s pray for protection for the White House and President Trump.

Oh, I have a prayer for Hair Führer… essentially I wish for him everything he’s ever wished for me.

Please join me and let’s all put our Shields Up!

Remember the people who were putting a prayer force field around the White House on inauguration day? Yeah, she was one of ’em.

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2 Responses to News That Will Drive You To Drink

  1. Mr DeBakey says:

    Taller foreheads than I have proclaimed that
    Cindy gives the best prophecy of them all

    Go Cindy Go

    Liked by 1 person

  2. roket says:

    Oh Lordy what a conundrum. Raptures can’t work when your shields are up. Your shields have to be down before you can beam anybody up. Just ask Scotty.

    Like

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