Alabama’s Love Guv: A Seething Hotbed of Unbridled Lust

Great Balls of Fire!

And so the impeachment trial of AL Gov. Robert Bentley begins. It seems his crime was banging his staff (though he denies banging anyone, and the bangee denies being banged), and then using state resources to cover-up the banging. I might have the finer details slightly wrong, but I think that’s about it.

Anyway, not being too good at having an affair, it seems Bentley included his wife of 50 years in his sexxxytime texting (thank god no sexting) talk with his mistress. (hot hubba-hubba: he DID have a threeway on an iPad). And somewhere along the line, he ordered someone else on his staff to break up with his mistress for him, because: chivalry and he didn’t want to pay his wife of 50 year’s alimony. But she divorced his cheatin’ ass anyway.

There’s lots of details floating around in various news stories that will test your gag reflex when you realize it is this guy (see above) doing the jr-high grade woo’ing. The dialog in the texts is, well, like a Harold Pinter play as interpreted by the Baptist director of Possum Hollar’s production of Grease.

So let’s recap where he is now: divorced, no sexxxxytime mistress, and in the process to be impeached. And if he is to be believed, Beaver, he never got a home run!

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5 Responses to Alabama’s Love Guv: A Seething Hotbed of Unbridled Lust

  1. moeman says:

    The neat part is iPhone to iPad synching isn’t automatic. Takes some verification and if the newer models, some um, fun fingerprinting. (I hear Touch ID works even if your finger is, um, wet).

    Like

  2. cat copeland says:

    I did not have sex with that women. It was an I-Pad!

    Like

  3. Pupienus Maximus says:

    Just a reminder that he said letting us mos get married would “undermine civil society.” Is it possible to OD on Schadenfreude?

    Like

    • tengrain says:

      Pup –

      And he proved it! You see, he was so distraught by the ‘mos that it forced him to… naw, even Noot (I loved my country so much I cheated on wife #2 with future wife #3, who gives great knobbers under my desk…) couldn’t spin this one.

      Rgds,

      TG

      Like

  4. Bruce388 says:

    Good thing he’s a good Christian like Trump.

    Like

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