News That Will Drive You To Drink

Happy Hour News Briefs

Jeebus weeps

Jeebus weeps

This one defies all description: the Xristian Xrazies (“intercessors”) are going to march around the White House, chanting prayers,  for a week to blow down the walls like Jericho as the avowed wall builder hisself, Russian Usurper Donald Trump takes the oath of office:

Our assignments:

1. Jan. 14-19 — Teams of intercessors will be prayer walking (marching) around the U.S. Capitol and the White House complex, declaring the coming presence of our Lord and destruction of the walls of protection around those oppose Him. Those not able to be in D.C. during these times may do the same during their prayer times.

2. Jan. 20 — As President Trump finishes his oath of office, at the moment of the power transition, all intercessors are instructed to shout to the Lord with faith and expectation that the spiritual walls will be destroyed at that moment. For those not in D.C., please do this wherever you are, and consider joining thousands across this nation by dialing 712-432-0075, then enter the code 1412452#. The call will start at the beginning of the Inauguration ceremony.

Of course, being a liberal, I am cursed to remember all the other times zillions of Xristians were going to show up to force the Kenyan to resign and what not, and a small bloatilla of medicare Hoover-scooters showed up and then broke for lunch to never return.

And of course my personal favorite Xristian Xrazy rally was for the Ex-gays:

Maybe these 12 dudes will show up to blow down a wall?

This entry was posted in POTUS Shield, Rapture-a-thon, Xristian Xraxies. Bookmark the permalink.

13 Responses to News That Will Drive You To Drink

  1. roket says:

    Great expectations of disinfection? I don’t think so. Idiots.

    Like

  2. C Montgomery Burns says:

    Did anyone check with the Monster of Orange his-self?
    I understand that on Jan 21st. the instillation of the now patented Trump brand Golden Shower will be installed in all the White House bathrooms.
    The following day Lincoln’s bedroom will be turned into the daughter/wife indoctrination center.

    It could happen, at least that’s what people are saying!

    Like

  3. M. Bouffant says:

    Intercess in one hand & crap in the other: See which piles up faster.

    Like

  4. moeman says:

    Loved how tRump said they were going to church, on Saturday.

    Like

  5. Big Bad Bald Bastard says:

    Golden showers for Jesus!

    Like

  6. Bosma says:

    Blowing down spiritual walls?

    Trump responded by saying, the wall just got 20 ft higher..

    Like

  7. paul fredine says:

    well, they’ll be blowing something.

    Like

  8. A.J. says:

    And the obligatory at the end…“Subscribe now and receive a free leadership book.”

    Like

  9. Reamus says:

    WTF? I mean I was always sure these people were nut cakes but such organization for deluded minds amazes me. Is ther no end to this?

    Like

    • tengrain says:

      Sadly, no. The theocrats are the single greatest danger to our democracy (in my opinion), and they would force Xristian sharia on us in a hearbeat if given the chance.

      Rgds,

      TG

      Liked by 1 person

  10. Pingback: News That Will Drive You To Drink | Mock Paper Scissors

  11. Pingback: ‘What’s for Dinner’ | Mock Paper Scissors

Comments are closed.