Get Off The Cross, Someone Else Needs The Wood (Part Infinity)

Chips? Naw, Starnes is crackers

Chips? Naw, Starnes is crackers fighting against Rainbow Doritos. Seriously.

I’ve been reading, with some fascination, smarmy Todd Starnes remarks at Y’all Qaeda’s Value Voters Summit, and a passage or two jumped out at me:

“In recent days we have seen Christian Americans hauled into court and thrown into jail, bullied and slandered by those who preach tolerance and diversity.”

But of course, the details are lacking. Who, what, where, when, and you know, why (if indeed it happened at all) so there is no way to fact check this assertion; but it doesn’t matter as the Xristians love nothing better than climbing on the cross. “Of course it is true,” they say to themselves, “why just this morning some heathen flipped me off when I ran the red light to get here on time!”

And then, Starnes goes long:

“But the most important place we can fight the culture war is our home. Set a Godly example for our children and grandchildren. Teach them right from wrong.

“Support groups like Family Research Council and American Family Association. Ask your pastor to start a team dedicated to staying informed on the issues of the day.”

As we know, Family Research Council and American Family Association are both listed hate groups by the Southern Poverty Law Center. And if your Pastor starts politicking from the pulpit, he’s breaking an IRS code and could throw his church out of their blessed tax exempt status.

If you’re interested in watching his speech, for your convenience, I’ve embedded it below. It’s Aw-Shucks glorious, and will make you yearn for a grifter like Elmer Gantry.

This entry was posted in Family Values, Get Off The Cross, Theocrats, Uncle Crackers Todd Starnes, Xristian Xraxies, Y'all Qaeda. Bookmark the permalink.

9 Responses to Get Off The Cross, Someone Else Needs The Wood (Part Infinity)

  1. roket says:

    Their biggest concern should be sprinkling or dunking.


  2. nonnie9999 says:

    I think a portmanteau is called for. Voter Summit should be abbreviated. Let’s call this “we are so superior” hatefest Values Vomit.


  3. RWW says:

    Starnes is nothing but a troll living under the Fox outhouse. Who the fuck would give him an award having anything to do with Edward R. Murrow?


  4. Big Bad Bald Bastard says:

    These people were the ones who took the culture war out of their homes and churches. They waged a religious war in the public sphere for over four decades and they lost, big time. They realized that the public doesn’t want religious coercion, but they still want to ruin lives.

    They are even losing the culture war in their homes- I imagine Josh Duggar wasn’t invited to this year’s sindig.


  5. Pupienus Maximus says:

    But of course, the details are lacking.

    Starnes doesn’t bother inventing bogus stories of CHRISTIAN PERSECUTION! (which, btw, I am all for) for speeches, he saves that for his Fox gig where “inventing bogus stories” sometimes means “creating a situation himself then ranting about the CHRISTIAN PERSECUTION!”

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Bruce388 says:

    After living with satellite internet, I usually don’t click on these videos because of their restrictive fair access policies. Now that we’re on microwave, I still don’t need to click on this guy. It’s easy to see he’s a worthless sack of shit.


  7. cat copeland says:

    Actually, Keep ’em on the cross. I can find some wood elswhere

    Liked by 1 person

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