One Lump of Stupid or Two, Cliven?

"Looks like you're trying to leave the safety of your cocoon."

“Looks like you’re trying to leave the safety of your cocoon.”


(CNN)The armed occupiers of a wildlife refuge in Oregon say they will turn themselves in on Thursday morning, hours after Cliven Bundy — the father of protest leader Ammon Bundy — was arrested by federal agents.

So how did they arrest Cliven Bundy? He’s been holed up in Nevada for years, as the godfather of tax cheats and armed insurrection protecting his freedom to not pay for grazing on land he does not own?

A Facebook page for his ranch announced that Cliven Bundy, who came to the national spotlight in a fight with the federal Bureau of Land Management over grazing rights for his cattle in 2014, was heading to Oregon earlier Wednesday.

“It’s time,” the post said. “Cliven Bundy is headed to the Harney County Resource Center in Burns Oregon.”

Oh. He TOLD THEM HIS PLANS?! Good job, Patton!

It’s unclear what the charges are holding him, but it is also clear that he still owes the federal government at least $1M Ameros for his grazing fees, and whatever other charges must exist from having snipers aiming at BLM employees.

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10 Responses to One Lump of Stupid or Two, Cliven?

  1. roket says:

    They fought the law and the law won.


  2. purplehead says:

    The dufus flew commercial from Las Vegas, where, of course, he had to go through security. Extra close security for him, to make sure he wasn’t carrying weapons on board. So, how perfect is that? He’s unarmed as he flies into Portland. Ha ha ha ha ha!

    He faces a conspiracy charge to interfere with a federal officer — the same charge lodged against two of his sons, Ammon and Ryan, for their role in the Jan. 2 takeover of the Malheur National Wildlife Refuge in Burns. He also faces weapons charges.


  3. Osirisopto says:

    What did he think would happen?

    I wish I could have seen the looks on the faces of the domestic terrorists when the armored vehicles with 50 caliber Gatling guns showed up and they realized their bravado was built upon the unstoppable might of a comparative pea-shooter and rain coat.

    Right now the domestic terrorists occupying the outhouse and gift shop in Malheur Wildlife Refuge are trying to work up the courage to die for their “cause.”
    They’re gonna be at it for a very, very long time.


    • Pupienus Maximus says:

      What did he think would happen?

      As always in cases where one asks “what can he possibly have been thinking?” the correct answer is of course “He wasn’t fucking thinking at all.”


  4. For Cliven, what passed for a thought must have been that Yahweh had his back, and the collective law enforcement would part like the Red Sea.


  5. Big Bad Bald Bastard says:

    Cliven, that fundamentalist Mormon patriarch and future god of his own planet, actually believed his own hype.

    The thing to do know is to start a social media campaign blaming Michele Fiore for selling him out to the Feds.


  6. RevZafod says:

    Patton? Rommel. Substitute Cliven for Rommel and drop “magnificent”, an you’ve got the FBI:


  7. Ed Mix says:

    I just flew into Oregon and boy, aren’t my right to bear arms tired.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Bruce388 says:

    So Cliven’s in the slammer? Only two years too late.


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