Cruz Wins! The Villagers Exalt Rubio

The Death of the Media

Deep thoughts about Marco Rubio

Deep thoughts about Marco Rubio

As we predicted last night, The Villagers are popping serious wood today for Marco Rubio (I submit as evidence this morning’s headlines on Memeorandom), but not all of us here in Lefty Blogistan are sure it is deserved. Let’s apply some agent orange woodkill.

Brother Pierce writes:

I got back from Haysville in time to listen to Marco Rubio declare his magnificent victory as the show horse in the Republican field. I will grant you that he surpassed everyone’s expectations—including my own—by clearing the 20 percent mark on Monday night. I even will grant you that he is probably the choice now of every Republican terrified of He, Trump and utterly skeeved out by Tailgunner Ted Cruz. Some of the others might get some run in New Hampshire. (Not Jeb-!-, please god. That would be cruel.) But this looks like a three-man race now, and the Rubio campaign did a masterful job pitching that notion over the last four days before the caucuses, and much of the elite political press bit for it. Now, Rubio was up there, defining himself as The Alternative in a political environment already primed by his campaign to believe it.

…and I think we need to take a breath and think for a moment about how these numbers really play out before the narrative sets that The Establishment Is Back!

Marco ‘Big Gulp’ Rubio, the Cold Warrior for a New Generation, and beloved grandson figure of Wingnuts over the age of 65 and under the age of death, indeed had 23.1 percent of the vote, and yeah, it was better than anyone expected, and he can absolutely lay claim to the title of being the Establishment Candidate. Please do, Marco.

But the vulgar talking yam (thanks Charlie!) got 24.3 percent of the vote, and the Ayatollah Cruz got 27.6 percent. Just for s***s and giggles, let’s throw in the number that Bennie-the-Blade won (9.3 percent) and suddenly we realize that 61.2 of Iowa didn’t want an establishment candidate.

So if Student Council Preznint Rubio wants to be defined as the guy the voters are opposed to on principle, he’s welcome to it.

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4 Responses to Cruz Wins! The Villagers Exalt Rubio

  1. moeman says:

    Did Mooselini’s screeching endorsement of tRump hurt him or help Gulpio?


    • tengrain says:

      Moeman – It’s a good question. Regardless of the answer, I bet Mooselini is furious that her political capital didn’t win it for the vulgar yam.




  2. roket says:

    Bless their hearts.


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