News That Will Drive You To Drink: The Polls For The Fox Debate

The Fox News Debate Set (proposed by MPS)

The Fox News Debate Set (…proposed by MPS)

New York Magazine knows the polls that will be used to separate the men from the boys (“Oh, my!,” Senatorette Lindsey Graham did not say, “wah would y’all do that?”):

“According to a source with direct knowledge of the plans, Fox’s team of election analysts is currently crunching numbers to set the field. “It’s going to be the most recent polls by nonpublic entities,” the network source explained. “They need to be done with live interviewers, as opposed to internet responses like what Rasmussen does.” According to the source, candidates will be chosen from the following polls: Monmouth University (released today), NBC News/Wall Street Journal (August 2), Quinnipiac University (July 30), Bloomberg, CBS/New York Times, and Fox News (all releasing tomorrow). If a poll from ABC News or another organization fitting Fox’s criteria is released overnight, then it will be swapped in. Based on the five most recent polls that meet Fox’s standards, Trump will be center stage flanked by Jeb Bush and Scott Walker. On the bubble, it’s looking like Ohio governor John Kasich will edge out Rick Perry for the final spot. If current numbers hold, the remaining prime-time participants will be: Marco Rubio, Ted Cruz, Mike Huckabee, Chris Christie, Ben Carson, and Rand Paul.”

On a related note, we’ve started work on the 2016 Goat Rodeo Drinking Game Rules. Be afwaid. Be vewy afwaid.

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3 Responses to News That Will Drive You To Drink: The Polls For The Fox Debate

  1. Big Bad Bald Bastard says:

    I think I need to put a portion of my liver on ice, I’ll need it later.


  2. Osirisopto says:

    They have the novelty candidate but no mention of iCarly. The suspense is killing me.

    No. No, sorry that wasn’t suspense it was the black beans and cilantro pesto from last night.


  3. C Montgomery Burns says:

    “…polls that meet Fox’s standards.”
    Duck, duck goose comes to mind.


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