Greetings From the Caliphate of Seattle

Seattle Landmark and weapon!

Seattle Landmark and weapon!

World Nut Daily tells me that Seattle is now under Sharia Law:

“While some cities in Texas and other Southern states have been adopting ordinances that protect their citizenry from creeping Shariah-compliant practices, cities such as Seattle are taking the opposite approach.”

OMG, where do I sign up for my virgins? er, I mean, I for one look forward to our new overlords.

“Seattle’s Democrat Mayor Ed Murray was so concerned that Muslims and other residents weren’t buying enough homes in his city that he had a committee investigate how that could be rectified.”

Actually, the whole region is worried that people of lower income are being priced out of the market. Affordable Housing was really the issue, and so the City was looking to have some public-backed financing. Also/too: wait until WND finds out Mayor Murray is gay and married… but do continue:

“One of the committee’s recommendations: Banks need to offer “Shariah-compliant” mortgage loans for Seattle’s growing Muslim community.

“Muslims are forbidden by their religious law, Shariah, from paying interest on loans so they must be offered loans structured in such a way that interest is not part of the package.”

So you can see the problem here: if you provide public-backed financing that discriminates against one religious population, you’ve run afoul of the First Amendment. But wait! There’s more!

“Critics say the idea opens the door to financing for Islamic radicals and even terror-tied groups, via money laundering.”

Is your bearded Barista a bro or a terrorist?! Frappuccino Fatwahs! Next! On Sick, Sad, World! (Say it in a Daria way.)

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9 Responses to Greetings From the Caliphate of Seattle

  1. Whale Chowder says:

    It’s all fun and games until someone gets their head chopped off.

    Like

  2. Anomaly100 says:

    No need to panic. It’s only Jade Helm.

    Like

  3. Better than coming from the blasted wasteland of Turdwafflestan.

    …Need a good architect up there?

    Like

    • tengrain says:

      Yes, ZRM. You should see the affronts to my aesthetics springing up all over Capitol Hill.

      Rgds,

      TG

      Like

    • Whale Chowder says:

      Dude. You should see all the construction cranes fuckin’ everywhere around here. Glass office towers and shitty apartment buildings as far as the eye can see. Help?

      Like

      • tengrain says:

        I’m on Cap Hill. All we see are cranes. And when we look down the hill, all we see are cranes around Lake Union.

        Rgds,

        TG

        Like

  4. char mcloughlin says:

    what the fuck are you talking about?

    Like

  5. HarpoSnarx says:

    On the positive side, Spokane is about to get a new wave of ‘murican refugees yearning to bully free.

    Liked by 1 person

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