Tiger Beat On The Potomac Wins The Morning!

2016 Goat Rodeo Update

The 2016 Goat Rodeo!

The 2016 Goat Rodeo!

(Thanks Charlie!)

Insiders: Ted Cruz hurt most by Trump candidacy

It’s another one of their barely-sourced, breathless and gossipy middle-school note-passing thingies, but it’s one we should all like. In it, author Katie Glueck tells us how short-fingered vulgarian and noted human hand grenade Donald Trump is damaging the GOP Brand (like they need help with that?) and how his candidacy is impacting other 2016 Goat Rodeo contenders:

“The Trump Circus is no doubt having the biggest impact on Ted Cruz. Cruz, the incumbent proxy for the disaffected GOP “Hell No!” Caucus, has been virtually starved of oxygen since Trump entered the race,” said an Iowa Republican, who, like all POLITICO Caucus participants, was granted anonymity in order to speak freely.”

Granted anonymity? By the powers vested in me by thine Almighty Dog, I, the royal court of Politico’s knave scribe Katie, doth grant thee anonymity to spread thine unsourced gossip and uninformed opinion to thy masses. Get thee hence!

““Christie is the “tell it like it is” candidate, but he certainly can’t hang with Trump in that regard,” a Granite State Republican said. “Without the oxygen of a niche, Christie is rudderless and grasping at straws.”

Why does the Titanic come to mind in that metaphor?

“Walker is “barely registering in voters’ minds because The Donald is such a compelling blend of hair, media catnip, and voter rage” even during his announcement week, said one Iowa Republican.

“Trump and Walker “are both in the state today, and every local reporter is more interested in covering [Trump] than Walker,” observed a New Hampshire Democrat.”

And we again say, Thank you Donald for sharing your thoughts with us, and please continue to do so. Much love, The Left.

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5 Responses to Tiger Beat On The Potomac Wins The Morning!

  1. Big Bad Bald Bastard says:

    “The Donald is such a compelling blend of hair, media catnip, and voter rage”

    Now THAT is an excellent turn of phrase.

    Like

  2. Bruce388 says:

    Who the hell would want to cover Scott Walker? The man’s a Quaalude. Bill Cosby could use Walker to get laid.

    And there’s always a chance Trump would start tossing doubloons to the crowds, with a few landing in range of the reporters.

    Like

  3. Paul Avery says:

    Well, let’s look at the choice: Trump, the loudmouthed lout at the bar, or Walker, the shifty-eyed toady at the corner table. Yeah, I would think the loudmouth would command most of the attention.

    Like

  4. A.J. says:

    “…a compelling blend of hair, media catnip, and voter rage”

    That should be, “a compelling blend of hair, media catnip, and REICH-WING voter rage”

    Your welcome.

    Like

Comments are closed.