Since the day that obvious anagram Reince Priebus punted the GOP debate rules and qualifications to his paymasters at Fox News, we’ve been saying that the powers that be (Roger Aisles, duh) would do whatever they could to ensure that ‘Fire’em All’ Fiorina will make the cut to be in the magic top ten 2016 Goat Rodeo contenders and be at the grown-up table, instead of back stage eating paste and Tweeting furiously like a beagle in a vacuum factory with Bobby Jindal.
Fiorina is the fig leaf that lets Y’all Qaeda get away with their sexist attacks on Hillary Clinton, just as Herman Cain was the 2012 Goat Rodeo’s fig leaf for the racist attacks on the Kenyan Usurper.
In support of our claim we present the following chart from Media Matters:
Sure at first blush (ever notice how easily I blush?):
- Short-fingered vulgarian Donald Trump is hogging all the oxygen. But as he is a long-standing Fox News Contributor, he’s kind of like the network cartoon-buffoon mascot. Plus he’s so unhinged that he makes for great teevee. He’s likely to say something, um, remarkable.
- Rick ‘3-Departments’ Perry is second place. Rick Perry is sort of the equivalent of having a talking mule on your variety show: it doesn’t matter much what he says, everyone wants to see it for themselves. Another win for great teevee.
- And then there’s iCarly.
And as chowder is best served with crackers, the rest of the contenders.
We’ll keep an eye out for more validation, but look to see if on Debate Night Fire’em All Fiorina is seated at the table.
Santorum only had 30 minutes with 5 appearances? He gets old fast, even for Fox.
Santorum, like santorum, tends to stink up the room after more than a few seconds.
In the end, FAUX will choose whoever they damn well please. Take that Rinse Prepuce.