Bristol Palin is apparently one-upping Mary with a second virgin birth. #abstinenceonlysexeducationtotallyworksguys
— Alex Duzik (@aduzik) June 25, 2015
“(I’m announcing this news a lot sooner than I ever expected due to the constant trolls who have nothing better to talk about!!!)
— Sean McCabe (@darthstar99) June 25, 2015
“I wanted you guys to be the first to know that I am pregnant.
How about letting the baby daddy know. You do know who it is, right?
“Honestly, I’ve been trying my hardest to keep my chin up on this one.
Keeping your chin up wasn’t the problem.
“At the end of the day there’s nothing I can’t do with God by my side, and I know I am fully capable of handling anything that is put in front of me with dignity and grace.
At the end of the day is a wine cooler, a high hand, and low morals, actually.
“Life moves on no matter what. So no matter how you feel, you get up, get dressed, show up, and never give up.
Showing up is half the battle, they say. The other half includes remembering your birth control.
When life gets tough, there is no other option but to get tougher.
No. Try getting smarter.
“I know this has been, and will be, a huge disappointment to my family, to my close friends, and to many of you.
Bristol Palin announces her pregnancy by calling it "a huge disappointment." Gosh, this kid is sure to be well-adjusted!
— Hannah (@h2theannah) June 25, 2015
Actually, I just won a bar bet. Thanks Brisket!
“But please respect Tripp’s and my privacy during this time. I do not want any lectures and “I do not want any sympathy.
No Sympathy for sure. No lectures, either, unlike how you lectured… Just a wish that you and the baby do well.
“My little family always has, and always will come first.
I don’t think what came first was your little family.
“Tripp, this new baby, and I will all be fine, because God is merciful.”
OK, look it: I hope for Brisket everything she ever hoped for any of us sinners, but as a bonus I will include that I hope she gets a healthy dose of introspection about casting aspersions on the rest of us.
Brisket is walking a mile in our shoes, so to speak.
I think you get my point.
(Hat tip: Scissorhead Moeman)