Some Fries With Your Stupid, Reince?

The Rebranding

The 2016 Goat Rodeo!

The 2016 Goat Rodeo!

Sweet Jeebus, obvious anagram Reince Prebus remains the most talentless, um, talent in Wingnuttia. He has one job, and one job only: handle the process of the national elections for Y’all Qaeda, and he’s already thrown in the towel for 2016 because there are too many candidates. So what’s an empty, badly tailored suit to do?

“The Republican National Committee has backed itself into a corner with no easy way out. Never before have more than 10 candidates squared off on stage for a televised GOP presidential debate—but by the time the first party-sanctioned event kicks off in less than three months time, there could be more than twice that number of officially declared candidates.

“That reality has left the GOP in a pickle. Party officials want enough candidates on stage to avoid having it look like they’re playing favorites, but they will also need to winnow the field considerably or risk having the candidates’ opening statements followed immediately by their closing ones. How they decide to strike that balance could effectively end the dreams of as many as a dozen GOP hopefuls months before the first nominating contest even happens.

“…The situation has grown so fraught that the RNC has begun scrambling to publicly foist much of the responsibility for who get’s invited—and who doesn’t—onto the network that will televise each debate. “Ultimately, it’s the networks’ decision,” RNC spokesman Sean Spicer said over the weekend. “There’s an obligation for the party to make sure the standard is fair. But it’s not our decision.” Translation: If you don’t like what you see on stage, blame the media!”

We’ve long said that the monster that Republicans created (Fox News) has ended up becoming the master, a statement that sends Republicans into a frothing, mad dog rage. But the truth is that Fox went from being a propaganda outlet to being the entity that actually sets the agenda.

Fox News will be the first network to host the debate, so they get to pick the debaters as well as the questions; this will also winnow the field to whomever Fox deigns to support.

So fellow libtards, the next time you get challenged on our usual claims that Fox is actually running the Republican Party, here’s your evidence. So Reince, how is that rebranding working out?

(Crooks and Liars, Slate, National Journal)

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9 Responses to Some Fries With Your Stupid, Reince?

  1. RobGinChicago says:

    Well, Rinse Penis, here’s my suggestion. Require all GOOPER candidates to deliver their opening and closing statements simultaneously. I assure you that they will be no less intelligible, and the statements are likely pretty much the same anyway. Additionally, you can follow the grand old party tradition of “pay-to-play”, auctioning off minutes of speaking time to the highest bidder. If Sheldon Adelson wants to subsidize 5 minutes of Bobby Jindahl pearls of wisdom, hey, that’s free speech in the best Citizen’s United tradition.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© says:

    or risk having the candidates’ opening statements followed immediately by their closing ones

    Wouldn’t this be the best case scenario for the goopers?


  3. grs says:

    Fighting to get a spot on the stage? Ha! They’ll be fighting for the martyr spot so they can start a gofundme page – “The GOP can’t keep me away! Donate money to me so I can speak for Real Americans™.”

    There’s just too many of them to sweep them all under the rug like they did with Ron Paul.


  4. Pingback: Some Fries With Your Stupid, Reince? | The Last Of The Millenniums

  5. Rand Paul was swept under the rug as well, but he apparently likes it there.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. roket says:

    Gosh. I can still remember the good old days when republican presidential candidate were preordained. Looky what the tea party hath wrought. Neener, neener, neener.


    • Bruce388 says:

      It’s impossible to have a preordained candidate when you have so many obviously fine options.


  7. A.J. says:

    “There’s an obligation for the party to make sure the standard is fair. But it’s not our decision.”

    A party totally and ideologically incapable of taking responsibility FOR ANYTHING!


  8. Pingback: One Lump of Stupid or Two, Reince? | Mock Paper Scissors

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