Some Fries With Your Stupid?

Just a spoon full of roofies...

Just a spoon full of roofies…

Did you know that free-range conspiracy theorist Glenn Beck was also part of the achingly glamourous world du fashion? (Altogether now, ME NEITHER!)

Well ladies, rejoice, as Glenn manages to market his clothes to you in the most, well, Beckian way:

1791 [Beck’s clothing line] is proud to announce our new line of women’s Denim. We begin with denim jacket and jeans.

They were designed for and tested on all the girls in my life. It has taken us almost two years to get the design just right.

Yes, he tested them on all the girls in his life.

I am proud that finally I can rest knowing any dad who feels the way I do about the most beautiful girl ever born, my daughter, will be able to feel that way when she slips into her favorite jeans, blouse and jacket.

That’s starting get a little creepy, imagining you daughter dressing in the morning, let alone that she is the most beautiful girl ever born.

My wife who is a little more like the current runway models and my daughter who is more classic both can wear and love their new 1791s.

So Glenn, why not just hold up a scorecard to let the little lady know what you think?

I kind of think it is one of those fundamental God given rights. To feel pretty.

Because you are.

Sweet Jeebus, I want to take a shower after that.

As we grow so will our selection and sizes because it is time we celebrate real diversity. After all, God made us different colors, shapes and sizes.

Stop it. Just stop it.

Please check out the beginning of our new line of women’s clothing at and see what the power of a dads love for his daughter can build.

I’m calling child protective services, and I hope they remember to look in the basement. What are the sheep saying Clarice?

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9 Responses to Some Fries With Your Stupid?

  1. Big Bad Bald Bastard says:

    Does he have a line of denim burkas so the infidels don’t cast lustful glances at his daughter?


  2. JTO says:

    Jeebus. I was curious. I mean, I HAD to know.
    190 bucks for a pair of jeans? That Glenn Beck ‘made?’ 96 more for the flannel Jeremiah is wearing in his mugshot(s)? A fifteen dollar bar of soap? Beard Oil? Is this a thing?
    I didn’t know if I should laugh, or be sick. So, I did both.


  3. moeman says:

    Do they come with a nice turquoise belt?


  4. Bruce388 says:

    At least the stuff is made in this country, unlike the Chinese shit Trump peddles.


  5. C Montgomery Burns says:

    Bah waa ha aha haha ha
    A new favorite for beardo’s everywhere, well American beardo’s


  6. RobGinChicago says:

    Gag me with a friggin’ spoon…


  7. Plummet says:

    Think the sheeple will pay that much for that crap?


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