An Now, An Update From History’s Greatest Reporter® Bill O’Reilly

Bill-O

It keeps happening to History’s Greatest Reporter® Bill O’Reilly:

I was in a situation one time, in a war zone in Argentina, in the Falklands, where my photographer got run down and then hit his head and was bleeding from the ear on the concrete. And the army was chasing us. I had to make a decision. And I dragged him off, you know, but at the same time, I’m looking around and trying to do my job, but I figure I had to get this guy out of there because that was more important.

Bill is a hero! Just doing his job, reporting the news and saving people left and right!

“The record is clear, and O’Reilly’s own report for CBS News confirms this: Argentine soldiers did not massacre civilians during this protest. And now the cameraman who shot the video that O’Reilly filed from this demonstration says another part of the Fox host’s account is untrue: O’Reilly never came to his aid, nor was he in need of rescue.”

“I put my trusty Bowie knife between my teeth,” Bill-O didn’t say, “and I swam through shark infested waters, fighting off killer whales on either side of me, to reach the Falkland Islands setting a new world-record for open sea long-distance swimming, a personal best for me. Then, into the war zone, and the rest, as they say, is history.”

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4 Responses to An Now, An Update From History’s Greatest Reporter® Bill O’Reilly

  1. reamus says:

    An Original Pompous Ass

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  2. roket says:

    The only situation he’s ever been in involved falafels.

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  3. grs says:

    I’m pretty sure this is what it looked like and yes, Bill did have his shirt off:

    Like

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