He’ll Know Torture When He Sees It

Jonah Doughy Pantload surreal

Jumpin’ Jehova! The Worlds Best Son and Legacy Hire Jonah Goldberg wrote a tortured column on torture:

It’s true that torture is to some extent in the eye of the beholder. Everyone can agree that hot pokers, the rack, and the iron maiden qualify. But loud music, sleep deprivation, and even waterboarding? At first, maybe not. But over time, yes. Torture can be a lot like poison: The dosage matters.

This coming from someone who writes at The National Review indeed knows something about dosage and torture. My snarky betters over at Alicublog won the internets with the best line of the day: “After several grafs of what-is-torture from someone who probably would start naming names if you took away his appetizer…”

But do continue, Mr. Pantload:

One of the great problems with the word “torture” is that it tolerates no ambiguity. It is a taboo word, like racism or incest. Once you call something torture, the conversation is supposed to end. It’s a line no one may cross.

So torture is like f***ing your sister? Just how does one make this determination? Note to Jonah’s Mom: talk to Jonah’s siblings, there might be some back story here that needs exploring.

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3 Responses to He’ll Know Torture When He Sees It

  1. Weird Dave says:

    I would say shove a feeding tube up his ass but he would probably enjoy it.


    • Big Bad Bald Bastard says:

      I pity the intern who gets ordered to fetch a blender, a hose, and the biggest bag of Cheetos on the shelf.


  2. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© says:

    One of the great problems with the word “torture” is that it tolerates no ambiguity.

    As noted over there, our right-wing friends are famous for the ambiguity of their hot taeks.

    Like gay marriage is the end of civilization. And then there’s that “War on Christmas” thing. Etc. Etc.


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