Happy Hour News Briefs

News that will drive you to drink

McCarthy-lite, notoriously Islamaphobic, one-term former congressman Allen West breathlessly tells Petunia and Pals that American Muslims are voting and engaging in their civic rights and duties to gain political power. The horror!

  • Helpful Hints! – Steven Camarota, director of research at dusky-person phobic, anti-immigrant Center for Immigration Studies has a swell idea to help the GOP win elections: cut legal immigration!

    “[James Gimpel, a political science professor at the University of Maryland] looked at what happened to the Republican vote at the county level over the last three decades,” Camarota explains. “What he found was that each 10 percent increase in the immigrant share of the county’s population reduced the Republican vote by about six percentage points.”

    So Camarota says the Republican Party faces a choice, one of which is reducing the level of legal immigration from 11 million a decade to three or four million per decade.

    “That would help the Republicans a lot,” he explains. “It would facilitate the assimilation of immigrants.”

    Let’s see… that’s about a reduction of about 73%. Yes, that would do it. (One News Now)

  • Let’s just say that Matt Barber, the man who thinks about hot, sweaty man-on-man sex with thighs like pistons that can pump all night, will not be licking the Harvey Milk commemorative stamps. Now, the Tom of Finland stamps might be more his style, no? (One News Now)
  • More Speakers Announced! – It’s Commencement season, and so today we learned that Boy Exorcist and noted volcano scholar Bobby “Bubba” Jindal will be giving the address to Liberty University; who of course is suitably upset that a swarthy alleged Catholic would be talking to gawd-fearin’ Baptist snake-handlers. (Religion News Service)
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2 Responses to Happy Hour News Briefs

  1. jo6pac says:

    that American Muslims are voting and engaging in their civic rights and duties to gain political power

    I don’t think soon enough to save us from the bat-shit-crazy people


  2. Dimitrios says:

    An even greater threat to the safety of Americans are the American Teatards who are letting their civic rights and duties become engaged to their mental instability and brain malfunctions, thereby producing a whole generation of batshit crazy legislation and political posturing.


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