News you can use all day

Your Daily Gohmert: watch in awe as Screwie Louie enters Mooselini’s infamous words on Russia into the Congressional Record, and Tina Fey’s infamous mockery of those words, too.

• Claim Chowder – Hey guys, remember yesterday when Home Depot’s billionaire founder Ken Langone compared the persecution of his fellow billionaires to the plight of the Jews in Nazi Germany, because six million+ people killed is exactly the sort of thing plutocrats face everyday when they read public opinion columns? Well, he’s apologized, kinda-sorta!

  “My remarks were intended to discourage pitting one group against another group in a society,” Ken Langone said in a statement obtained by the New York Daily News. “If my choice of words was inappropriate — and they well may have been that — I extend my profound apologies to anyone and everyone who I may have offended.”

  You may recall that Langone previously pitted the rich against the poor when he suggested that rich donors may stop giving to charity if Pope Francis continued to give speeches criticizing capitalism and wealth disparity. “Nice place you got here, Frankie,” Langone didn’t say while looking at the Vatican. “Shame if anything happened to it.” (Livewire)

• Feed a fever, starve the poor – So, you wonder what the inner-city constituency of Zombie-eyed Granny-starver and brown paper bag fabulist Paul Ryan thinks of his dog-whistling? Think Progress talked to them.
• The retribution of the Xristian Xrazies – You might recall that when Illinois legalized marriage equality last fall, just three out of 47 Republicans voted for it. And immediately the three GOPers were primary challenged by Bible-banging, God-bothering Xristian Xrazies who made gay marriage the central point of their campaigns: none of the three GOPers lost their primaries. Well done, Illinois. (WaPo)