There were too many Good News! items in my feed to ignore…
- Kissing the Boss’ Ass Today – Guilt-free knee-capper Cardinal Dolan has gone on the electric TeeVee Machine to praise his boss Pope Francis for essentially undoing all of Dolan’s hard work:
“This pope has successfully, finally shattered the caricature of the church that his predecessors have tried hard to do,” Dolan said on ABC’s “This Week.” “What’s that caricature? That the church is kind of mean and dour and always saying no and always telling us what we can’t do and always telling us why we should be excluded. He’s saying, no, come on in, the church is about warmth and tenderness.”
“What he says is that the dollar is money, if the economy becomes our God, that’s idolatry,” Dolan said. “There’s only one God and money ain’t it, Okay? Money is morally neutral. It’s how we use it that makes it sinful or good.”
Dolan then went home and polished his ball peen hammer. “Soon, My Precious. Soon,” he did not say.
As you may recall, Dolan is the one who during the second inauguration festivities not only condemned Marriage Equality, but also condemned the Affordable Care Act, you know, as creeping socialism. (Livewire)
- Exit Interviews – Hey guys, remember that time that the Catholic School fired Mark Zmuda, vice principal of Seattle’s Eastside Catholic High School for being gay and getting married to his boyfriend (now husband)? Well it seems that the school made him a reasonable offer to save his job: Dissolve your marriage and all would be cool. Who could turn down such an offer? (Slate)
- Hubba-Hubba! – The 2014 Men of the Vatican Calendar is out! “Eat for this is my body,” murmured Dolan to no one, licking his lips. (BuzzFeed)