News Briefs

News you can use all day

Undescended testicles-suffering, Senator Ted Cruz high-pitch squealed that we need “100 more like Jesse Helms” in the Senate.

  • Old Man Yells At Clouds – Grandpa Walnuts once again is yelling at the chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, Gen. Martin Dempsey, saying that Dempsy has no credibility because he doesn’t want to bomb Syria. You may recall that Walnuts said Dempsey lacked credibility for opposing the troop surge in Iraq and threatened to block his nomination because Dempsy apparently did not toady up to the 5-time plane crasher. (Livewire)
  • NRA rips up that cheque – Gun-loving wingnuts in the wingnuttian gun-loving state of Missouri failed to override Governor Jay Nixon’s veto of a bill that would nullify federal gun laws, and forbid local law enforcement from working with federal agencies. (Livewire)
  • Great Barbecue Tour – Muslim-hating Xristian Xrazie Pastor Terry Jones was arrested on Sept. 11, outside of Tampa Florida while transporting 3,000 kerosene-soaked copies of the Koran which he planned to burn in recognition of victims of the September 11, 2001 attacks (not realizing that those 3,000 included the hijackers because: Math). Anyway Jones faces charges of transporting fuel illegally and openly carrying a firearm. (Raw Story)
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3 Responses to News Briefs

  1. Roket says:

    Obviously, one fool’s day per year is not enough for these people,.


  2. lambchop says:

    “The willingness to say all those crazy things,” we can’t all be Jesse Helms or Ted Cruz. I never liked John Wayne neither.


  3. Bruce388 says:

    What did Jesus do to deserve Terry Jones?


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