Pop Quiz!

The Smoking Gun


The Smoking Gun

The Smoking Gun has the scoop of the day on Chimpy McStagger’s artistic endeavors, and it seems clear that he is as good as artist as he was a preznint.

Now, aside from the delicious irony that the man who made email tapping and wire tapping legal as part of his legacy, getting his electronic mail hacked, er, taken without a court order, well, I’m just as shocked as the next person.

For 1.34 points towards you final grade, please give us the art criticism his work deserves, and for a bonus point, what he should add to the paintings to improve in his still life. For instance, I think the bathtub portrait, he needs to add some fart bubbles to capture his jejeune Je ne sais quois.

In the comments, please.

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0 Responses to Pop Quiz!

  1. Bruce388 says:

    That tapered torso is an egregious example of artistic license.

    He also forgot to include the rubber duckies in the bathtub, because you KNOW they’re in there.


  2. Perdurabo says:

    I’m wondering who he is showering with in the top photo, he must have to scrub the Presidential back. We see W’s face in the mirror, but the angle is wrong for this to be a self-portrait. I think there is a secret service agent close to retirement who weeps himself to sleep each night.

    Also, he’s missing a toe in the bottom painting, should be 11 of them.

    Also Also, instead of the rubber duckies as Bruce suggests, I’m going with plastic ships and subs.


  3. Reamus says:

    Well, does it matter who is in what mirror or if he has taken license with his fat belly? Really? I mean the Asshat is painting by numbers (assume his wife reads them to him correctly) maybe he got it wrong.

    RIP Chippy, get a new box of crayons and keep coloring, you murdering shrimp.


  4. Rob_in_Hawaii says:

    Where is the loofa?


  5. Some Techie says:

    It’ll cost more than 1.34 points for me to heap sufficiently derisive comments on these drunken watercolors.


  6. tommyspoon says:

    I dunno…. there is something sublime about them. An innocence, a yearning for privacy, a desire to wrap oneself in the moist warmth of a bath to soothe the troubled mind. It’s a classic representation of man’s desire to return to the womb.

    Oh who am I kidding? They’re representational drivel. But if they keep him occupied, I say paint on!


  7. dk says:

    Not bad (whod’a thunk?) Reminiscent of Hockney.


  8. wagonjak says:

    I agree with the writers at the Washington Free Beacon: “The paintings demonstrate a command of line and color that is rarely seen in the modern-day “art” world. Former President George W. Bush appears to be influenced by such painters as Edgar Degas and Édouard Manet. The portraits also clearly capture the personality of their subject.”

    At least the last sentence…


  9. Pharmakeus Ubik says:

    Looks like Lil’ George is stepping up as the next Painter Of Light™. A glimpse into the unbearable lightness of his being.


  10. lambchop says:

    As much as it pains me to say it, I agree with dk. Too bad the talent was so late, latent, too late for the world.


  11. Mac from Oregon says:

    Looks like he got all of the black velvet covered with paint. The bathtub needs Barney holding aces and eights, smoking a cigar…


  12. C Montgomery Burns says:

    I hope he wasn’t drinking when he painted these because, damn are they dull.
    Try some JD next time you pick up a brush.

    He must be soooo board.

    In either case they’ve made it on to my phones screen saver.


  13. HarpoSnarx says:

    All the paint, in all the world, will not cover up his fecal flected record and skid row soul.


  14. gumby says:

    An attempt of ablution?


  15. Kurt says:

    You know who else was a painter…


  16. pygalgia says:

    Historians sometimes speculate about what would be different had Hitler found success as as architect or if Fidel Castro had been a slightly better baseball player (he nearly made the pros).
    Perhaps if shrub had found his inner artist earlier in life…


  17. Mr618 says:

    Bruce and Perdurabo, much as I like your ideas, I’m going with pretending the turds are submarines.


  18. grs says:

    There should be a scum ring around the bathtub. Dude has to get pretty dirty with all that brush clearing.


  19. Neil Clayton says:

    I imagined Chimpy singing ” I’m gonna wash that man right outta my life”

    Look it’s very early here in Australia.

    Norman Bates ?.

    I got nothing.


  20. Bruce388 says:

    Somewhere Jeff Guckert/Gannon is remember the good times. Maybe that’s Jeff in the mirror?


  21. What’s missing? Tile-mounted butt plug in the shower scene.

    And Kurt, I believe you meant “you know who else was a FAILED painter?”


  22. Bruce388 says:

    You know, it’s better than Chimpy’s teenage hobby: Blowing up frogs. Of course, he may still be doing that….