An Affair To Remember (Charted)

The crack research team at Mock, Paper, Scissors has done it again! We’ve spent literally minutes analyzing all the known players and whatnot involved in the nefarious Petraeus Sexy-Time Affair and documented the timeline in this handy cut-out-and-keep chart!

An Affair To Remember

(Actual factual information from The Week)

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0 Responses to An Affair To Remember (Charted)

  1. tommyspoon says:



    I’m still confused.


  2. Thanks, Ten, for wading through this sewer so we don’t have to.

    The bottom line for me, though, is still, “So what???”

    Big Generals frequently have Little Generals who call the, um… shots, just as many of us manamals do.

    Oh, and f**k Cantor, the Idol of Idiot Worshipers. He should either DO THE JOB HE’S BEING PAID TO DO, OR GET A REAL ONE.


  3. another kiwi says:

    Great effort Tengrain. But, you know, doing a flowchart that mentions Iraq but doesn’t acknowledge Tom Friedman’s work is incomplete.


  4. Dimitrios says:

    Fantastic! But for pictorial integrity the dotted lines really should have been dribbled cum stains.


  5. moeman says:

    Wow, thats a lot of arrows. Beautiful Tenn Diagram!


  6. gumby says:

    to be continued?


  7. Some Techie says:

    Ich brauche einen größeren Computermonitor.


  8. Mr DeBakey says:

    Don’t forget there’s another Lebanese bombshell who befriended The Generals.
    Jill’s identical twin needs to be squeezed in somewhere.


  9. Axel Grease says:

    did you just explain the obsession with the kardashians?


  10. Matty Boy says:

    My only confusion as someone who has done EVERYTHING POSSIBLE to stay ignorant of this nonsense: Who is Boylan? A first name and a job description would help here.

    Other than that, another Tengrain classic, as if we ever expect less.


    • Tengrain says:

      Matty Boy –

      I’m sorry: retired Army Col. Steve Boylan, who is/was Ret. General Petraeus’ spokes-colonel. I mean, you know, the person who confirms that the General was boinking the biographer who was not his wife.

      We regret the error.




  11. The One True Dave says:

    Why am I reminded of this?


  12. Brian O'C says:

    I’ll just be sitting over here on the Group ‘W’ bench. Eating my popcorn! Already an American classic.


  13. Frans says:

    I don’t think her access was completely unprecedented. He must have had sex before.


  14. knowdoubt says:

    June 30,2010 Petraeus offers Broadwell unprecedented access in Afghanistan, his staff notes with disapproval – those were “dream studies” in the bedroom, nothing abnormal there.

    Sept. 6, 2011 Petraeus Sworn in as CIA Director

    “Obviously”, Petraeus didn’t violate the military code of conduct by having an affair, he waited until after he was sworn in as CIA director, it is so obvious.

    That is a most incredible time line – it should be published everywhere – it makes everything so “understandable.”

    I think I would copyright that work, but not before I substituted the “dribbled cum stains for the dotted lines” – they might start somewhere in 2008 where their “cooperation” was sealed after a 6 mile run probably in the shower would be my best guess.