Countdown to Tampax 2012

Isn’t it strange that some of the most devious descriptions for groups of animals

a herd of antelope
a covey of grouse
a siege of heron
a harem of seal
an infestation of lice
a mob of emu
a barren of mule
a murder of crows
a mischief of mouse
a sloth of bear

just happen to ALL fit the largest gathering of miscreants, fascists, villains, brownshirts, beasts, brutes, devils, fiends, rapscallions, hate-mongers, reprobates, scalawags, criminals, scoundrels, varlets, and wretches in four years.  Yes, it is that time of the election cycle — it’s the Republican Party holding their quadrennial Nuremberg Rally  — this time in sunny Tampax, Florida.

As the:

herd of antelope Reaganites
covey of grouse GOP
siege of heron Conservatives
harem of seal Birthers
infestation of lice Republicans
mob of emu Randians
barren of mule Neocons
murder of crows Teabaggers
mischief of mouse Evangelicals
and sloth of bear Assholes

make their way to the West Coast of Florida, computer models from the NOAA (a much despised and always wrong big government waste of money agency) show Tampax is in the hole for Hurricane Isaac.  With that in mind, RNC Chairman Mao Reince Priebus Rice-e-rub Penis is calling for the goose stepping festivities to be limited on Monday and begin on Tuesday, and possibly go to Friday.

We have sneak peak at the opening ceremonies.  And boy have the grave diggers have been busy.

pn conv6

As Tampax 2012 opens, Lady Peggington of the Maitai Nooningtons senses despair is in the air.  She is going to the convention to ask request persuade suggest beg the 2012 standard bearer, Lord Mittens (of the Rafalca Romneys) to reconsider his choice of Lord of the Abs, Paul Ryan as the one to be a six-pack from the Presidency and opt for what could be the sure fire way to victory – stand on stage with Saint Ronald of Reagan, the man with the hottest pecs ever, and make him the #2 guy.  Lady Peggington knew the sainted one, Lady Peggington was a friend of St. Ronnie’s, and Lady Peggington knows that Lord Mittens is just no Saint Ronnie of Reagan.

Let the fun begin – and join us for The Adventures of Peggington: Fear and Loathing in Tampax

 

This entry was posted in snark. Bookmark the permalink.

0 Responses to Countdown to Tampax 2012

  1. Reamus says:

    You forgot my favorite back in the day when we used to make these up:

    A Snooze of Delegates

    Like

  2. Cthulhu says:

    Not that it has anything with those odious Repubs, but I’ve always liked “A Cheer of Corgis.”

    Because lets face it, if a bunch of Corgis don’t bring a smile to your face, you ain’t got a face.

    Like

  3. Dimitrios says:

    I should like to make a few changes and additions to your list:

    a murder of Neocons ………………..(as with crows)
    an obstinacy of Birthers ……………(as with bison)
    an infestation of Evangelicals ………(as with lice)
    a litter of Pro Lifers ……………..(as with pigs)
    a surfeit of Teabaggers …………….(as with skunks)
    a clutch of No Taxers ………………(as with hens)

    Like

  4. RayLay says:

    “A Nest of Ninnies” (also the title of a book by John Ashbery)

    Like

  5. Shirley says:

    How ’bout a shitload of Repubs?

    Like

  6. grmce says:

    Unfortunately you left out the quite genuine “congress of baboons”

    Like