Since I can turn back time
Since I have found a way
I’d take back those words that I’m in charge
And you’d say OK
Since I can retro retire
After working at Bain
Then you’d love me, love me
And just see I am sane
You would think that after Mitt’s dismal hop around the dial on Friday to defend his Bain tenure – his [on] crack campaign machine would go into overdrive to avoid saying comical, dumb and damaging things.
Guess what – they did not.
Enter Ed Gillespie, hack extraordinaire, who probably wishes he could now retroactively quit his spokesman job to spend time with his family. According to Ed – in 2002 our man Willard, after signing SEC documents attesting to his Bain CEO status and testifying to the election board in the state of Massachusetts that he was living in their state to attend to Bain business – was able to use some version of E=mc2 and go back in time to 1999 to retire – making all his Bain time (but not salary) from 1999-2002 non-existent!
Today the Republican School of Sunday Talking Points taught us that when your lies become so transparent and so ridiculous just make shit up to get out of it. And holding onto to a time worn GOP tradition of adding new oxymorons to the lexicon, Gillespie adds “retroactive retirement” to such other gems as “intelligent design” and “corporations are people”.
But take a step back. Perhaps Ed was just telling the truth about Retro Mitt. After all the Mormon Church retroactively adds [dead] members to their congregation (like Anne Frank and George Washington). So why can’t Mitt retroactively retire?
Leave it to the GOP to show once again that what comes out of their butts is more of the truth than what comes out of their mouths.