The Happy Hour News Brief

I’m taking a muscle relxer, Scissorheads so my senses are a bit dulled. However, this story strikes me as News That Will Drive You To Drink:

It sounds like a hoax, but it’s apparently true: The Loch Ness Monster is on the science class syllabus for kids at Eternity Christian Academy in Westlake, Louisiana.

As reported by the Herald Scotland (which must track all Loch Ness-related news), a school that will receive tax-payer dollars, will teach kids that the mythological sea creature is real in order to debunk the theory of evolution. So pay attention: That will be on the test.

Eternity Christian Academy uses the fundamentalist A.C.E. Curriculum to teach students “to see life from God’s point of view.”

According to the Herald, one textbook, Biology 1099, reads, “Are dinosaurs alive today? Scientists are becoming more convinced of their existence. Have you heard of the ‘Loch Ness Monster’ in Scotland? ‘Nessie’ for short has been recorded on sonar from a small submarine, described by eyewitnesses, and photographed by others. Nessie appears to be a plesiosaur.”

Starting in the fall, thousands of schoolchildren will receive publicly funded vouchers to attend private schools, some of which are religious. Religious schools in Louisiana will receive public funding as part of a push from Louisiana’s governor, Bobby Jindal, to move millions of tax dollars to cover tuition for private schools, including small bible-based church schools. Money will fund schools that have “bible-based math books” and biology texts that refute evolution.

At Eternity Christian Academy, pastor-turned-principal Marie Carrier says that the her first through eighth-grade students learn at their own pace from Christian workbooks. The beginning science text explains “what God made” on each of the six days of creation. Evolution is not taught.
Carrier said, “We try to stay away from all those things that might confuse our children.” She hopes to secure enrollment of 135 voucher students for the 2012-2013 school year. According to the website Salon, the school currently has just 38 students.

Whether this gambit will help move Louisiana from the bottom of math and science rankings in the country is unclear. A 2011 study of how well primary education prepares students for engineering careers had Louisiana third from the bottom, with only West Virginia and Mississippi performing worse.

And that’s the news. Good night and good luck.

(Yahoo News)

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9 Responses to The Happy Hour News Brief

  1. Bruce388 says:

    Lookout, Third World, here we come!


  2. Mac from Oregon says:

    I am of Scots decent. my father was born on the shores of Loch Ness, I saw something there in 1966 that I still can’t explain, but I join my fellow Scots in saying WTF? Are you people nuts? We are the laughing stock of the world, where else is this not politically motivated, religiously sponsored claptrap? Does any one have any property for sale in Canada?


    • Tengrain says:

      Oh, good, so it is not just me!

      I just sat there slack-jawed as I read that and wondered if my outrage was genuine or a by-product of being sort of zonked.

      Bobby Jindal should be ashamed, if not impeached. Those kids are going to be at a permanent disadvantage for the rest of their lives. It’s an outrage.




  3. C Montgomery Burns says:


    As long as they stay in Louisiana or anywhere below the Mason-Dixon line, their lives will be just fine.

    Heck, with an education like that, one day they too can be gubner.


  4. eileen says:

    Well, this changes things for me. All these years, I’ve been laughing about Sasquatch and now it seems like he might be perfect for the six-day theory (well, story actually, not so much theory.)

    Good grief!


  5. grs says:

    “I’ll tell you who took those lunches, that damned Sasquatch.

    And everyone laughed at me when I started my mail-order correspondence courses in Cryptozoology.


  6. Not one word about the Ogopogo? Haters.


  7. How is intentionally raising The Chilluns to be dim-wits not considered child abuse, or at least abject neglect???

    …oh yeah, it’s Loo-ziana, that’s how!


  8. “We try to stay away from all those things that might confuse our children.”

    Such as facts…

    Heck, with an education like that, one day they too can be gubner.

    LOL **SOB**


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