Thank you Jeebus!

Ha-Ha

bachmann-straight-jacket

Dear Friend,

The courts in Minnesota just ruled on the new Congressional districts and, as one of my most loyal supporters, I wanted you to be the first to know.

Just as we suspected, the liberal courts have changed the makeup of Minnesota’s Congressional districts. The courts’ liberal bias was evident by cherrypicking the districts and going so far as to draw my home — where I have raised my family and represented in Congress for the past six years — outside the new sixth district.

I refuse to allow the courts to arbitrarily determine who my friends, neighbors, and constituents are, and I will take every necessary step to correct this injustice. I have therefore decided to campaign for re-election in the new sixth district, where a majority of my constituents remain. This will not be an easy task, but with your support today of $25, $50, $100 or more our campaign will have the funds necessary to run an effective campaign.

Just as I wrote you below — I will now have to face the challenge of reaching out to thousands of new voters. Friend, I know the Democrats are watching these map results with excitement and look forward to spending millions of dollars to defeat our campaign and silence our conservative voice and values. The liberal media and Democrats will certainly do everything they can to slander our campaign and we simply cannot afford for that to happen.

Your donation today will send a loud and clear message to the Democrats that you stand with me in my run for re-election to Congress.

I know the road ahead will not be easy, but I know with your support our campaign will prevail.

Thanks,
Michele

Sent from my iPhone

For those with long memories: One-L’s district was originally created by redistricting by those judicial activists, so this is epic payback karma pimp-slapping the successful babymill operator and BFF with the Almighty.

(Hat tip: our secret agent deep in the heart of Wingnuttia and Scissorhead albatrossity)

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10 Responses to Thank you Jeebus!

  1. joesdaughter says:

    Wha’ happened ? Did the census come up short because constituents were afraid to fill out the forms? Well, at least they will not be getting sent to interment camps. Yuk, Yuk.

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    • Tengrain says:

      Joesdaughter –

      Wouldn’t that just be the tits?

      I had heard that Minnesota had a significant decrease in population (as has had the entire upper midwest) with people fleeing to jobs in the southwest. I don’t know if One-L’s district went away (1 less congressional district), or if all the districts were redrawn. Does it matter? Nope, she still has to run a primary!

      Regards,

      Tengrain

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  2. Bruce388 says:

    Screw the campaign. She needs to raise money to buy the second L.

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  3. moeman says:

    No fucking way she typed all that on an iPhone.

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  4. grs says:

    How did the courts decide who your friends are? So anyone living outside your district is not your friend? Good to know.

    And I know it;s not snark, but Dayton has been D-governor for one year. Before that. R’s held the MN governor’s office since 1991. Who was appointing all those “liberal” judges?

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  5. My sister recently moved to Minnesota and discovered to her horror that she was in Bachmann’s district. Yeah, we all had a laugh at her expense. That said, I don’t think Sis is going to go door knocking for One-L.

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  6. Axel Grease says:

    you know she claimed she would not run again when she tossed her cookies into the goat rodeo
    so besides being insane and married to the priscilla queen of the north, she is a liar

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  7. Capt. Bat Guano says:

    Yeppers, she has worked really, really hard for her constiuents, that is if you call missing 71% of your votes in Congress hard work.

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  8. Reamus says:

    The woman is as insane as the premise of her “letter’…from her iPhone…yeah, right.

    She really is batshit crazy and I offer my condolences to all those “new” neighbors of hers and applaud those who have escaped her district.

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Comments are closed.