…Trading Places was a movie…

…but then I read this post at Wonkette.

OK, the shorter version. Some Wall Street Dude gives a panhandler a buck, and the panhandler reads him the riot act. The Wall Street Dude is offended that the bum is not grateful for his largess.

Of course, the original article is from The Wall Street Journal, and like all journal puff pieces, our generous hero is required to say essentially, but I’m a good guy Here’s how our Wall Street Dude says this:

An isolated incident on 55th Street? Perhaps. But in a sample of more than a dozen people I know who have collectively given money to panhandlers well over 1,000 times in New York during the past few decades, not one could recall ever being turned down, much less having their money tossed away as insufficient. The rhetoric of class warfare has now invaded spontaneous charity.

So let me get this straight, you Master of the Universe: Over several decades you and a dozen of your pals may have given $1,000 to the down-trodden bums, hobos, and pan handlers while walking back from closing million dollar deals and you feel unappreciated for your $1 generosity. And because of this, you are the victims of class warfare? From Obama?

Thanks for the finger fuck, Superman.

(Wonkette)