I am soooo doing this!

Telemarketers are actually paid based on productivity, so many calls per hour. So what I really did used to do is answer the call, tell them I’m fascinated by their news, and then put down the phone and watch television or start making dinner and just leave the phone off the hook and let them listen to me ignore them.

But this seems like a lot more fun.

(Via BuzzFeed)

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12 Responses to I am soooo doing this!

  1. SkinnyDennis says:

    If I’m online when they call, I have a bookmark for this:
    http://www.fartgo.com/sounds/fart-o-tron.html

    If I could find “the brown note”, I’d use that instead.
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brown_note

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  2. j says:

    I used to give the phone to a 3 year old and tell him (or her, later) that it was Santa Claus, and that he/she should talk real nice to “Santa” and ask a LOT of questions. By the time I got the phone back all I heard was a dial tone.

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  3. Dimitrios says:

    I don’t believe these pests deserve the truth, so my response (whenever I have enough time to be prickly.)

    “You do realize that this is a retirement home and that Mr. Makropoulos suffers from Alzheimer’s? And besides, I know for a fact that this telephone, which is maintained for the convenience of our patient’s families, is registered on the National do-not-call-list. *

    Now, what is your name and what company do you represent?”

    * National do-not-call-list: The CRTC maintains a list of telephone numbers which, once registered, are not to be called by telephone solicitors on pain of severe fines. Unfortunately, since registering on this do-not-call-list, it seems to me that I get twice as many unsolicited calls as before.

    This feeling may even be accurate, since the Canadian Bell Telephone has recently been fined 1.3 million dollars for eight months of multiple violations of this list. (And I have the feel that if every call were caught and fined, Canada could temporarily renounce the necessity of income tax.

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  4. I have an unlisted number, and am on the do not call list, and I still get endless calls from some “research outfit” in NYC which maintains that they are not covered by Do Not Call because “it’s research”.
    ~

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  5. MR Bill says:

    You have to feel a bit sorry for the poor drones stuck in these jobs..
    but back in the day, I would answer in a weird, breathy voice, after the marketer had identified themselves “yes, mother is killing cats in the kitchen..to eat…you want to help her?” They would hang up fast.
    And if ever called about “this is a stock that is going places” I would say in my best dixie accents “son, the only kinda stock I’m gettin is the live kind..”
    Sadly, I had to explain “Livestock” more than once..
    And then, when I ran the bookstore, got this call “Are you listening to the radio? what station” and I answered “I’m not sure, but they are playing the opera,” and the dude hung up.

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  6. carl says:

    Mocking “telemarketers” and calling them “pests” is disturbing to me…my sister is a telemarketer. She was once rolling in money in Silicon valley with a salary of over 100 thousand bucks, but since the downturn, she and a lot of others have been forced into telemarketing or risk become destitute. I hope you understand that most telemarketers don’t do this out of love, but total necessity, and making fun of them is rather nasty…just sayin’…Carl

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  7. carl says:

    Mocking “telemarketers” and calling them “pests” is disturbing to me…my sister is a telemarketer. She was once rolling in money in Silicon valley with a salary of over 100 thousand bucks, but since the downturn, she and a lot of others have been forced into telemarketing or risk become destitute. I hope you understand that most telemarketers don’t do this out of love, but total necessity, and making fun of them is rather nasty…just sayin’…Carl

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    • Tengrain says:

      Carl –

      No offense to your sister – and if she calls me I will be polite. It’s all the other telemarketers that I’m rude to.

      (And honestly, it is not them, it is the telemarketing industry that we are all railing against. I get it that the individuals are doing what they can to put food on the table and keep a roof overhead.)

      Regards,

      Kevin

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  8. jo6pac says:

    My late father would talk to them until they said they had to go or would just hang up on him.

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  9. Count Typo says:

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  10. nonnie9999 says:

    that’s great! many years ago, before caller id, i told a telemarketer that i was deaf. he apologized for bothering me, and i said that it was okay. he kept apologizing, and i kept saying that it was okay. i hung up the phone and was laughing, wondering how long it took him to realize that i answered him without hesitation, and i couldn’t possibly have been deaf.

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  11. motocat says:

    My husband always says that the person they want to speak to is in jail but expects to be out any day now. We’re both polite–I know the phone caller is only trying to make a living–but they do get their chains yanked.

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