The Macaca Awards: And the winners are…

We honor all that is appalling in American Politics with the First Semi-Regular Macaca Awards.

Statuette of George Allen as a lawn Jockey to announce the Macaca Awards
For more on the Macaca Awards, see our announcement.

The first Macaca of the evening is for Outstanding Achievement in Grifting, and the nominees are:

  • Sarah Palin (Mooselini)
  • Joe Miller (The Moose-Savant)
  • Christine O’Donnell (The Human with the Fully-Functioning Mouse Brain)

Presenting the Award for Outstanding Achievement in Grifting is…

…that champion grifter, Texan, and infamous self-promoting lobbyist king, Dick Armey!

…and the Macaca goes to: Sarah Palin!

(Sorry Joe, Sorry Christine. It looks like this isn’t the only election you will lose tonight.)

(Transparency: here are the results of your voting.)

The Next Macaca is for Outstanding Achievement in Race Baiting!

The Nominees for Outstanding Achievement in Race Baiting are:

  • Sharron “you don’t look Mexican” Angle
  • Dr. Laura for outstanding use of the “N-word”
  • Andrew Breitbart for manufactured reverse-racism
  • Tom Tancredo for, well, everything
  • Rand “Repeal the Civil Rights Act of 1964” Paul
  • Glenn Beck for “Obama’s deep seated hatred of white people” meme
  • Mark Williams (of tea party express fame)
  • Haley Barbour for defending Confederate History Month

Presenting the Macaca for Outstanding Achievement in Race Baiting is…

…that fun-loving defender of Nazis and scourge of swarthy people everywhere, a man who has never found a border strong enough, Pat Buchanan!

And the Macaca goes to… Glenn Beck!

(Transparency: Here is how you voted.)

The next Macaca is for Outstanding Achievement in Promoting Propaganda Thinly Veiled as Journalism!

The Nominees for Outstanding Achievement in Promoting Propaganda Thinly Veiled as Journalism are:

  • Michelle Malkin
  • Glenn Beck
  • Megyn Kelly
  • Bill O’Reilly
  • Peggy Noonan
  • Sean Hannity
  • Rupert Murdoch

Presenting the Macaca for Outstanding Achievement in Promoting Propaganda Thinly Veiled as Journalism is…

…a man who has the loosest association with the truth, and whom the GOP kowtow to, the GOP King Maker, Rush “Junkie” Limbaugh!

And the Macaca for Outstanding Achievement in Promoting Propaganda Thinly Veiled as Journalism goes to… Rupert Murdoch!

(Transparency: This is how you voted.)

The next Macaca is for Outstanding Achievement in Promoting Fundamentalist Christian Theocracy and Pooping on the First Amendment!

The nominees for Outstanding Achievement in Promoting Fundamentalist Christian Theocracy and Pooping on the First Amendment are:

  • Michele Bachmann
  • Carrie Prejean
  • Sarah Palin
  • Glenn Beck
  • Sharron Angle
  • Mike Huckabee
  • Christine O’Donnell
  • Tony Perkins
  • Sam Brownback
  • Steve King
  • Glen Urquhart
  • Dan Severson
  • Jim DeMint
  • Todd Akin
  • Ken Buck

Presenting the Macaca for Outstanding Achievement in Promoting Fundamentalist Christian Theocracy and Pooping on the First Amendment…

…is that God-fearing, death-praying, Haiti-hating, hippie-blaming man-of-the-cloth, Pat Robertson! And the Macaca for Outstanding Achievement in Promoting Fundamentalist Christian Theocracy and Pooping on the First Amendment goes to… Tony Perkins!

(Transparency: This is how you voted.)

The next and final Macaca is for Outstanding Achievement in Humpin’ While Bible-Thumpin’!

The Nominees for the Macaca for Outstanding Achievement in Humpin’ While Bible-Thumpin’ are:

  • Senator John “Hush Honey, Here’s Momma’s Money” Ensign
  • Senator David “Huggies” Vitter
  • Fundamentalist George “Rentboy” Rekers
  • Would-be Governor Carl “Bastardini” Paladino
  • Former Senator John “DNA” Edwards
  • Governor Mark “Kiss Me South of the Border” Sanford
  • Congressman Mark “Abstinence Educator” Souder

Presenting the Macaca for Outstanding Achievement in Humpin’ While Bible-Thumpin’ is…

Newtie Gingrich, with a lifetime achievement of nearly continuous adultery!

And the Macaca for Outstanding Achievement in Humpin’ While Bible-Thumpin’ goes to George Reker!

(Transparency: This is how you voted.)

And that concludes our presentation of the 2010 Macaca Awards, a celebration of everything that is appalling in American Politics.

As always, the Academy thanks our pal Nonnie at Hysterical Raisins, who makes us laugh daily and without whom this Award Ceremony would not be possible. Please pay Nonnie a visit and thank her for the stellar work she does.

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0 Responses to The Macaca Awards: And the winners are…

  1. Pingback: The Macaca Awards! And the Winners Are… « HYSTERICAL RAISINS

  2. I saw Glenn Beck arrive at the Awards Show in a satin dress.

    Like

  3. When, oh WHEN am I gonna learn to bring extra pants when I come here???

    Finest of efforts from you both, and sincerest of kudos for the results!!!

    Like

  4. nonnie9999 says:

    thanks for a wonderful week, tengrain. i ♥ you! thanks, too, to all the scissorheads who visited and commented over at the raisin. you are always welcome, and i hope you’ll consider becoming raisinettes as well as scissorheads. 😀

    Like

  5. Better than the Oscars, Emmys, Tonys, and Grammys rolled into one.

    Like

  6. darkblack says:

    Top notch work, 10G and Nonnie.

    ;>)

    Like

  7. Criminal, CRIMINAL that Joe didn’t win. He had a reporter’s face smashed into a locker and detained him illegallypatriotically to stop him asking questions about said grifting. That’s at least worth a runner’s up.

    Like

  8. abo gato says:

    Great job, both of you. An election this week we could all enjoy.

    Thanks for a bright spot in an otherwise grim place.

    Like

  9. moeman says:

    Wow!

    Like

  10. zencomix says:

    The Old Milwaukee in John Edwards’ hand and Newt’s “Now serving 03” pin, just to name a couple, are the little things that crack me up.

    Like

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