We honor all that is appalling in American Politics with the First Semi-Regular Macaca Awards.
For more on the Macaca Awards, see our announcement.
You knew it was coming, right? I mean, how could you miss the signs? Of course the Macaca Awards would have to acknowledge the ground-breaking work our public figures are doing in slut-shaming us all while they go off and get their freak-on with religious zealots, hooker, and call-boys (oh my)! And tonight we have quite a rogue’s gallery of, well, rogues:
As always, Nonnie has the full sized version at her place.
- Senator John “Hush Honey, Here’s Momma’s Money” Ensign – the man once described by his hometown newspaper as the sheep with a secret sorrow, who not only had an affair with his best friend’s wife, but tried to buy off each member of the injured family (Husband, Wife, Teenage Son) using his influence and finally his own mother’s money.
- Senator David “Huggies” Vitter – Vitter’s diaper sexy-time play is well known to us all, but what is not as well known is that the DC madame “committed suicide” and other hookers will not talk about their client, as they say things happen to them.
- Fundamentalist George “Rentboy” Rekers – A founding member of Family Research Council and of National Association for Research & Therapy of Homosexuality, Rekers was researching something else it seems when he hired Lucien from Rentboy.com to handle his sack while on a European Vacation.
- Would-be Governor Carl “Bastardini” Paladino – It’s not news, exactly, that Paladino has his own little bundle of joy with a woman who is not his wife, but imagine what your life must be like to think that Carl Paladino is a good option?
- Former Senator John “DNA” Edwards – It seem that in John Edwards’ Two Americas, he had two families. Now he only has one.
- Governor Mark “Kiss Me South of the Border” Sanford – The man who redefined castanets for a generation, left the governor’s mansion without telling his staff or his family where he was going, and proceeded to have his own Free Trade with a Firecracker Lady in Argentina! Oh, lay!
- Congressman Mark “Abstinence Educator” Souder – No mention of false Christians would be complete without mentioning Souder, who was recording Abstinence Education videos with his mistress.
Fellow members of the Academy, get thee hence to the polls to vote for Outstanding Achievement in Humpin’ While Bible-Thumpin’
Tonight is the last night of the Macaca Awards voting, so if you have not voted yet, please do so:
- Outstanding Achievement in Grifting
- Outstanding Achievement in Race Baiting
- Outstanding Achievement in Promoting Propaganda Thinly Veiled as Journalism
- Outstanding Achievement in Promoting Fundamentalist Christian Theocracy and Pooping on the First Amendment
- Outstanding Achievement in Humpin’ While Bible-Thumpin’
Tuesday Night is the Grand Finale when winners will be announced! Stay tuned!
As always, you can go to the blog of my unindicted, co-conspirator, Nonnie, to see full-sized representations of these posters. Nonnie is a marvel, please pay your respects to her!
(Fresh snark, if any, is down below.)