Even in his own fantasies, Ben Quayle is not hung

Some readers may recall a magical time in the late ’80s and early ’90s when the asshole father of Chimpy McStagger was in the White House, and his Dick Cheney was some idiot named Dan Quayle, who had a special way with words.

Well, anyway Dan married his equine sweetheart Marilyn somewhere along the line, and she foaled a son, and they called him Ben. You may remember Dan’s horsie was someone who said that if her daughters ever got knocked up, they would bring the baby to term. Family values.

So, fast-forward 20 years and we meet the latest Potatoe to run for office, Ben, a solid-family values GOP conservative by day and a potty-mouthed sexytime blogger by night, or something.

It seems as recently as 4 years ago, Ben was possessed by the Devil and contributed to a site called Dirty Scottsdale (now called TheDirty), under the porn star name Brock Landers who some of you might remember from Boogie Nights as the not-so-hung side kick of Dirk Diggler.

So there you have it in a nutshell: even in his sex-crazed fantasies, Ben Quayle is not hung. That’s just sad, dude.

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0 Responses to Even in his own fantasies, Ben Quayle is not hung

  1. This has been another episode of Imagine What Would Happen If This Was A Democrat.

    I feel so icky for only pretending to defend *that* joke of a party.

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  2. Wilfredo says:

    I just saw his campaign commercial, he is as awkward and stiff as his father.

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  3. RedDirtGirl says:

    Wilfredo,
    What do you think he was doing at 0:18 when he ducks down and moves to his right. Oh…. never mind.

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  4. Wilfredo says:

    Ha, ha! I did see that! I think he was being directed from off camera, and like his father, he botched it up.

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  5. moeman says:

    Whats wrong with being stiff?

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  6. I’m sorry… I am truly laughing too much to come up with a snarky response.

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  7. Oblio's Cap says:

    Hey – I saw that on Watertigers’ site, too!

    (I know you’re filling in over there)

    Like