Pin the Tail on the Theocrat, cont. (day 4)

Yikes! Another day of this? Has Tengrain gone off his nut? (D’uh, you have to ask?) How can he do this to us? Well, it’s E-Z, just watch! And today’s theocrats are probably the easiest of the bunch to guess.

Our excitement-building, Blog Against Theocracy theocratic contest continues… let us recap the rules, shall we?

Here’s the dealio: each day through the conclusion of the BAT on Sunday, we will post a graphic of a few theocrats; if, by the conclusion of the BAT you have correctly identified all the theocrats, your name will go into a random drawing to win your choice of theocrat’s graphic! Huzzah!

Place your answer in the comments – you must identify all eight theocrats, not just the two newest. No special rules today for noted fluent Pig Latinist Scissorhead Mac from Oregon, except that his answers should rhyme.

So, without further ado, here are all the theocrats to date: tr.odd {
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Theocrat Clue How to Spot in the Wild
Theocrat 1 This former GOP Presidential Candidate is noted for getting calls from God on his cell phone. Eating roadkill.
Theocrat 2 This theocrat does not believe in evolution, only in “animals that he allows to live.” Getting his back waxed, or fighting Kareen Abul Jabbar.
Theocrat 3 This theocrat has a world-wide radio empire, and received his degree in Psychology from the University of Spoiled Children. Beating children.
Theocrat 4 This theocrat believes that God punished New Orleans for a Gay Pride parade. In Israel, trying to nudge The Rapture.
Theocrat 5 This theocrat, when not running away from his record, is perpetually running for GOP President and is deeply mistrusted by all other theocrats. Bitch-slapping rappers on airplanes, strapping dogs to the roof of his car.
Theocrat 6 This theocrat, also a former GOP presidential candidate, blames Haitians for their devastating earthquake, saying that God was punishing them for taking away the property rights of others when they broke free from slavery. Weight lifting.
Theocrat 7 This theocrat says that God has her crown in heaven. Noted for being Maggie Gallagher’s shower-nozzle masturbation fetish object. Filming soft-core porn, or finger-banging.
Theocrat 8 This Hawaiian shirt-wearing theocrat claims to be nonpolitical. In Uganda working behind the scenes to legalize killing gays and lesbians, or in California working to deny gays and lesbians civil rights.

For more information about the Blog Against Theocracy, please visit the website. If you would like to pick up BAT badges for your blog, they are available on my Flickr page. These are the same theocrats you will find in the contest!

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0 Responses to Pin the Tail on the Theocrat, cont. (day 4)

  1. retzilian says:

    I haven’t even checked anyone else’s answers. Pinkie swear.

    1. Mike Huckabee
    2. Chuck Norris
    3. Dobson
    4. Falwell
    5. Mittens Romney
    6. Pat Robertson
    7. Carrie Prejean
    8. Rick Warren – author of the second worst book in history, just behind “The DaVinci Code”


    • Tengrain says:

      Retzilian –

      You can check other’s answers! This is MPS, home of the incorrigible spitballer, we believe in taking peeks at the other kids tests here! But, like the old knight said to Indianna Jones, choose wisely.




  2. Mac from Oregon says:

    Well here goes…

    Puddin’ and pie,
    Dobson makes the little kids cry,
    When I win the boat I’m going to say,
    It’s Hagee that hates all of the Gay,
    Mittens it seems,has presidential dreams,
    While old Pat Robertson no longer schemes,
    Carrie, Carrie quite contrary
    How do your Titties grow?
    Slowly they say, then suddenly a bunch
    While Rick Warren has a face made to punch,
    Gotta stop this now, I’m losin’ my lunch

    So to recap:
    Romney’s son
    and Robertson
    Ms Green Prejeans
    Bunny Rabbit Warren
    and I’m Capt. Kangaroo


  3. moeman says:

    David ‘I’m Fucked’ Frum

    Todd ‘Skee-Do’er’ Palin

    John ‘Ziegheil’ Ziegler

    Bobby ‘I’m not white either’ Jindal

    Stephen ‘The Crazy One’ Baldwin

    Neil ‘Textbook’ Bush

    Sarah ‘Starbursts’ Palin

    Jonah ‘Hawaiian shirts make me look slim’ Goldberg


  4. Bruce388 says:

    I have successfully remained as ignorant as possible on Bible-thumpers, so I draw a blank with #3 and #4. The fact I’m sure of the others is troubling.

    The remote possibility of winning, with the “prize” that entails, precludes me from doing any further research.


  5. abo gato says:

    Mac’s just gonna hafta win….


    Tis a creepy bunch, indeed.


  6. Morse says:

    All together now…

    Huckaboo, Chucky Cheese, Dobson, Hagee, Romney and his Magical Winnebago, Robertson, Carrie (Not the movie), and Warren.


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