Bad Packaging, Cont.

Cola

“The Cola with Fizz and Whizz!”

Do I get the account?

(Hat tip: Scissorhead Skinny-D)

Posted in Bad Packaging | 5 Comments

News That Will Drive You To Drink

Happy Hour News Briefs

Let’s listen as Vanderbilt University professor of political science and law Carol Swain narrates PragerU’s most recent video Why Did the Democratic South Become Republican? Spoiler Alert: Nixon’s Southern Strategy was FAKE NEWS!!1! drummed up by failing Democrats to tar Gawd-fearing, decent Republicans as racists when the real racists are the Democrats!!1!

This is probably the only agitprop from Wingnuttia that has no references to St. Ronnie. Weird, innit, how they jump from Nixon’s Southern strategy to Jimmy Carter and then to Bill Clinton winning the South (and weird how she never mentions that they were, oh, you know, southern governors) passing over Reagan, almost like he might have something to do with the Southern Strategy.

What a silly ol’ world.

Posted in snark | 3 Comments

Midday Palate Cleanser

Never play Hide-N-Seek with a dog:

hide and seek

Clearly Rex watched E.T. and learned this technique.

Posted in dogs, Palate Cleansers | 2 Comments

Did Mike Pence…

“Spring time for Hair Führer and the G-O-P…”

…get a hold of Comrade Preznint Stupid’s twattering device?

That’s pure Pence-style bigotry. Well-spelled bigotry, but bigotry. You can say that Trump is presenting an argument for why he doesn’t want transpeople in the military, but there is not a lot of depth to it. I’m sure that there are transpeople currently serving, so is he going to kick them out? What is the cost-savings projection. And what the heck does he mean that they would burden victory?

I’m not sure that Comrade Trump—or Pence—can just declare that, I think that there must be laws that would have to state who can and cannot serve. Anyone? Bueller? Anyone?

Posted in Comrade Preznint Stupid, The Russian Usurper, Mike 'Fat Termite' Pence, Transphobia | 8 Comments

The United States of Amnesia, cont.

Tiger Beat:

Roughly half of voters who said they voted for Donald Trump last November, 49 percent, believe Trump won the popular vote, according to a new POLITICO/Morning Consult poll. That’s compared to 40 percent who say Democrat Hillary Clinton won.

Overall, a majority of voters, 59 percent, believe Clinton won more votes than Trump, but 28 percent believe Trump won more votes.

Maybe we’re too stupid to govern ourselves?

Posted in snark | 6 Comments

Imitation is the (In-)Sincerest Form of Flattery

The Mooch is a mini-me for Comrade Preznint Stupid:

Posted in 4th Reich, Anthony Scaramucci, Comrade Preznint Stupid, The Russian Usurper | 6 Comments

The Morning Quote

Screw-you, cha-cha-cha

“With the exception of the late, great Abraham Lincoln, I can be more presidential than any president that’s ever held this office. It’s much easier, by the way, to act presidential than what we’re doing here tonight, believe me.”

Posted in snark | 4 Comments

The Summary

McCain earlier today on Trumpcare: “I. Will. Not. Vote. For. This. Bill. As. It. Is. Today.”
This was hours before he voted for it. Today.

Brain-cancer’ed Grandpa Walnuts flew in from Arizona (“and boy, my arms are tired!”) to vote on the motion to proceed, which as we’ve stated is the motion to start stripping Americans of healthcare: without his vote, the ACA would have remained the law of the land. With Walnut’s vote, the Senate split 50-50, and Mike Pence (a man so full of sawdust that termites salivate when he walks into a room) made the deciding vote. Thanks a lot, Walnuts!

Tiger Beat gives us another Portrait in Courage:

“On a Delta flight from Salt Lake City to Washington on Monday afternoon, Lee sat in the middle seat, furiously texting about his latest thinking in the health care debate, according to an eyewitness who sat next to Lee and described the messages to POLITICO.

“In one text, Lee told a recipient that he might still vote to proceed to the repeal debate, but that it was ‘still too early to do so in good conscience because we’re not being told anything.’ ‘This leadership line of pass something, anything, is dangerous and potent,’ Lee typed out in another message, written in a large enough font that fellow passengers could easily read his words, according to the eyewitness. In another text, Lee wrote: ‘This bill is nothing more than bailing out insurance companies with a few minor reforms thrown in for good measure.’”

And as we all know, Lee voted for it anyway.

So what’s next? Mike ‘Payola’ Allen writing the Axios morning email tells us:

The hot new thing: “Skinny repeal.” If neither the Senate plan nor straight repeal is gaining traction, the next option could be a bill that would repeal small parts of the Affordable Care Act — like the individual mandate and a tax or two.

The goal with getting skinny: To pass something that would trigger a conference committee with the House — an opportunity to write another bill!

Anything that keeps the process alive would be a good thing, a senior House GOP aide told Axios’ Caitlin Owens.

Tiger Beat on the Potomac (thanks Charlie!) morning email thingie tells us more about this skinny repeal dealio:

THE BET, although far from certain, is that Senate Republicans will pass a so-called “skinny repeal” bill — legislation that would end the employer and individual mandate, and medical-device tax. This would be a vehicle to allow the House and Senate to negotiate on a final repeal and replace bill. The “skinny repeal,” though, is not a comprehensive plan and includes no replacement, so it’s a tough vote.

AND ANOTHER QUESTION a lot of people are asking: what can get through the very divided — and increasingly conservative — House Republican Conference? This is not a gang known to favor incrementalism — and that’s what would emerge from a negotiation with the Senate.

We note dryly that the Individual and Employer Mandates are what makes the ACA actually work. So if they repeal that bit, the ACA becomes unworkable.

So what is next is going to be a a lot of chest-beating and puffery, and an amendment-a-looza with everyone and their favorite lobbyist bellying up to the trough. But as Steve Jobs used to famously say, One More Thing:

Claim Chowder: Every senator who voted “yes” was the deciding vote.

Dims if they are smart (hahahaha, I jest!)  are going to run ads saying that Sen. Dean Heller was the “deciding vote” to take health care away from 33 million Americans. Same goes for Sen. Jeff Flake. Oh, look—it must be 2018, the ads are already here.

So, it’s the Kobayashi Maru for Heller and Flake (worst law firm ever):

“They were for killing health care before they were against it,” and somewhere John Kerry is smiling.

 

Posted in Healthcare Reform, Healthcare Repeal, snark | 1 Comment

Bad Messaging and the Art of the (Better) Deal

“Nooooooo-oooooo!”

Yesterday I got my first Better Deal email, and I’m sure many of you are getting these, too. This new messaging program was starting this week and I don’t think I’m special and getting a sneak preview. This crap is the real deal. (See what I did there?)

A quick check of the major dailies tells me that Chuck Schumer wrote an editorial in the NYTimes (naturally) and Nancy Pelosi wrote one for the WaPo and it is probably a coinky-dink that they almost sound exactly alike. Authenticity is not Nancy and Chuck’s strong suit, but I digress.

Better Deal is clearly a nod to the Great Depression era New Deal, and so it has both a certain cache cachet and of course a certain sibling rivalry. It’s also clearly a nod to populism, which is something the Dims gave up on during the Feast of St. Ronnie when they got tarred as being pinko-commie sympathizers. How times have changed. I digress again!

The Better Deal target audience is clearly the subject of so very many pandering NYTimes feature stories about the angry, white male, blue collar voters, and oddly offers nothing to the base. It’s like they want to go populist, but not too populist: you wouldn’t want to attract the Bernie Bros! Heaven forfend! Shooting the moon might be how you win at Hearts, but they don’t want the DLC crowd to reach for their salts. Look-out: Joe Lieberman will want to feel relevant again.

I also seem to recall that at some point in her 2016 Goat Rodeo run, Hillary called her platform a Better Deal. Anyone else remember that? No? I didn’t think so. Let’s move on…

Let’s see what is part of a Better Deal. The Dims are promising:

  • good-paying jobs
  • infrastructure improvements
  • corporate regulation
  • better health care

OK. Nice aspirations, though vague. What else you got?

  • high cable bills
  • pricey tickets and airlines dragging passengers off and other assorted outrages in the friendly skies
  • craft breweries being gobbled up

OK, that’s kinda specific and kinda random. I suppose the West Coast getting nuked by North Korea would be a plus to these voters, so sticking to pocket book issues makes sense. I’m not sure if Possum Hollar’s voter really cares a lot about the high coast of flying to the big city of Satan’s Hollow, but I’m a coastal elite, what do I know?

And so now we get to the essential problem with the Dims messaging: it’s not just a lack of imagination (Better Deal? Really? That was the best you could do?) but a lack of spine. This is the same weak leadership that didn’t oppose Chimpy’s Great Adventure and took impeachment off the table.

Better Deal is gonna hinge on lowering the cost of watching Hannity? Sweet Jeebus with a leveraged buy-out, the grifter in chief and his vile children are robbing the treasury in broad daylight and the Republicans are creating literal death panels for 33 million Americans and Chuck and Nancy think bitching about the high cost of watching House of Cards is gonna sweep them back into power? Good job, Karnak.

The Orange Menace, carnival barker that he is, will eat the Dim’s lunch. Bet me he will call whatever his evil plan is, The Best Deal! The Most Fabulous Deal! You Won’t Believe How Great It Is Deal (“Believe Me!”), and Possum Hollar will eat it up with a spoon.

Posted in dim-o-crats | 5 Comments

Bad Packaging, Cont.

Water

The most fabulous water ever sold.

(Hat tip: Scissorhead Skinny-D)

Posted in Bad Packaging | 1 Comment