Bad Statues, Cont.

Bad Statue

“Eat, for this is my body.”

Candidate for the Mountjoy Center for the Appreciation of the Cultural Delights?

Mounty, care to comment?!

(Hat tip: Scissorhead Skinny-D)

Posted in Bad Statues | 4 Comments

Through The Looking Glass With Scottie Neil Hughes

white rabbit is late

Hair Furer Donald Trump’s CNN surrogate (his OTHER CNN surrogate that is not named Corey) Scottie Neil Hughes tells us with a straight face that Hillary Clinton is the real bigot because she’s prejudiced against white supremacists at The Breitbart Mausoleum:

“Bigotry, if you look at the definition, it’s about someone who’s small-minded and sits there and directs hate towards a certain group. Hillary Clinton’s speech [The Reno speech that attacked alt-right conservatives] was all about hate towards a group that, while my fellow counterpart might consider them to be very racist, it’s the exact opposite.”

And thus we tumble into Wonderland. Watch in amazed amusement:

Posted in 2016 Goat Rodeo, Hair Furer, Donald Trump, Racism | 6 Comments

Your Sunday Bottomless Flute of Stupid Is Served

Laura Ingraham Salutes Hair Furer Donald Trump

Laura Ingraham Salutes Hair Furer Donald Trump

The WaPo reports:

“Hillary Clinton is methodically preparing for the presidential debates as a veteran lawyer would approach her biggest trial. She pores over briefing books thick with policy arcana and opposition research. She internalizes tips from the most seasoned debate coaches in her party. And she rehearses, over and over again, to perfect the pacing and substance of her presentation…

“Trump’s aides have put together briefing books, not that the candidate is devoting much time to reading them. Trump is not holding any mock debates, proudly boasting that a performer with his talents does not need that sort of prepping. Should Trump submit to traditional rehearsals, some associates are talking about casting Ingraham, an adversarial chronicler of Clinton scandals, to play the Democratic nominee. ‘Donald Trump is the unpredictable X-factor and Hillary Clinton is the scripted statist,’ said Kellyanne Conway, Trump’s new campaign manager, in an interview. ‘I fully understand why Team Clinton feels the need to drown her in briefing books and Hollywood consulting.’”

Popcorn, anyone?

Popcorn, anyone?

So now we know that Hair Furer’s debate prep team consists of a rogue gallery: Rudy Giuliani, Laura Ingraham, and Roger Ailes.

Popcorn, anyone?

Posted in 2016 Goat Rodeo | 14 Comments

Last Call for Warren Hinckle

If you grew up in the SF Bay Area, chances are good that you read Warren Hinckle at some point. Or maybe your father did, and maybe every time he did there would be a curse under his breath and the paper quivering in his hands, if not balled-up and in rage thrown into the trash. A kid notes these things and fishes them out of the trash.

Hinckle was the kind of local reporter that made polite people curse, impolite people explode and politicians, well, do both and hide. The man had a genius for getting under their skin. One can argue that he gave Hunter S. Thompson his big break, too.

I met Mr. Hinckle once in SF, bought him a drink (Irish whiskey, neat, I think) and asked him if I should go to journalism school. Let’s just say he talked me out of it, and his language was spicy and convincing.

Anyway, Mr. Hinckle is now filing reports from the great pressroom in the sky, and getting under everyone’s skin Up There.

And I’m sure he’s loving it.

Posted in Dead Celebrities | 2 Comments

Bad Packaging, Cont.

HiroshimaMushrooms

At least they don’t have Nuke ’em as a cooking instruction. (But seriously, Mushrooms?!)

(Hat tip: Scissorhead Skinny-D)

Posted in Bad Packaging | 6 Comments

Counting the Lawn Signs, Redux

Angry white guy Wayne Allyn Root knows that Hair Furer Donald Trump is secretly winning the black vote because: whisperers.

Explain it to us, boss!

Got that? Trump suffers/benefits from The (Reverse) Bradley Effect: black people are ashamed that they are voting for the white guy so they lie to the pollsters.

This is a really strange idea, and I’m seeing a lot of variations on it lately. College educated people, women, people of color, white people are all too ashamed to admit that they are voting for an yam-hued shit gibbon fascist?

Posted in 2016 Goat Rodeo, Hair Furer, Donald Trump | 12 Comments

The Morning Quote – UPDATED

Happy Happy Joy Joy for Bigots

Happy Happy Joy Joy for Bigots

Trump Campaign surrogate and Main Gov. Paul LePage, human bowling jacket (thanks Charlie!):

“Look, a bad guy is a bad guy, I don’t care what color it is. When you go to war, if you know the enemy, the enemy dresses in red and you dress in blue, you shoot at red, don’t you? You shoot at the enemy. You try to identify the enemy. And the enemy right now, the overwhelming majority right now coming in are people of color or people of Hispanic origin. I can’t help that. I just can’t help it. Those are the facts.”

So the people to shoot at are people of color and Hispanic origin.

Got it.

UPDATE 1: Main Apologizes for electing LePage.

Posted in Racism | 7 Comments

Your Saturday Bottomless Mug of Stupid is Served

Trump DanceThere’s an App for that:

(New York, NY) August 26, 2016 – Today, the Donald J. Trump Campaign announced the new app, ‘America First’, available on Android and iOS devices. The ‘America First’ app allows supporters of Donald J. Trump to engage with the campaign, meet fellow supporters, and collaborate to Make America Great Again by answering various calls to action and building an active online community of supporters.

Like the call to action to burn down the Reichstag? Attack a protestor?

Supporters can earn Action Points (AP) by signing up for campaign alerts, contributing to the campaign, checking in at events, sending messages to friends, and sharing campaign videos, images and other personalized content through various social networks.

Automate your crazy facebook rage uncle’s messages to you.

Every Trump supporter has a unique personal profile where they can view and track their progress by unlocking up to 8 levels of Activist Badges, ranging from “Apprentice” to “Big League.” Supporters will see different content and opportunities in the app based on where they are located at the time.

Every Trump supporter will be targeted to ads for the rest of their lives. Bigly.

‘America First’ also includes state and global leaderboards and social interaction with other supporters through a messaging system.

Hook-up app for mouth breathers and Orcs.

Posted in 2016 Goat Rodeo, Hair Furer, Donald Trump | 8 Comments

Bad Signs, Cont.

MPS Salutes Back-to-School

Back to School 13

Well, I once saw a sign in front of an elementary school that said Slow Children, so maybe this is their crosswalk?

And thus we conclude our two-week long festival of back-to-School!

Posted in Bad Signs | 6 Comments

News That Will Drive You To Drink

Happy Hour News Briefs

Dude looks like a church lady, or sounds like one. Let’s listen in as he tells us in the first of three parts why Hell’s own hell-beast Hellery is no Christian:

Isn’t that special? His self-satisfied grim smarminess and smug tone would make Dana Carvey’s Church Lady blush.

And so now we know: Hillary Clinton has embraced “a heretical liberal theology that denies essentials of the faith and has substituted it with damnedable doctrines of Marxism.”

Posted in snark | 15 Comments