A Toast To A Life Well-Lived: Scissorhead Dennis Cole

Dennis Cole two years ago…


As you know we Irish have a different perspective on Death. We know we will go to the Good Place and it is the good place because there won’t be any English* there, or so me blessed Irish Dad used to say.

And that’s why we have wakes: because were happy that the deceased got away from the English*.  [“The lucky bastards” – me Irish Dad, again.]

We Irish love a good party, too, and Dennis would be mad as all hell to miss his own wake, so he decided to hold it while he is still with us, above ground.  

Dennis came roaring into MPS like Steve McQueen in a Mustang in SF, revving with comments profound, profane and funny. His spitballs were high octane, fast & furious, and if I can think of another car metaphor Id include it. But the point is, this Scissorhead was running on all cylinders. DC (the Meme KING! and Pun-Dit) will be missed.

What follows is from Dennis and reflects what he wants us to know.

We will be keeping this post up on top this week to make sure all the Scissorheads get the news and have a chance to say goodbye in the comments. 

Be sure to hoist the beverage of your choice and toast our friend on his journey away from the English*.



*  I suggest substituting “Republican” for “English,” but you do you.

My Fellow Scissorheads:

The time has come to speak of things; of ceiling wax and the Estate Tax, of being lax, unlike birds on the wing. Of speaking out, instead of just peeking out, to see if the coast is clear.

Of standing up, and shouting loudly, proclaim who you are, and say so proudly. Of chicken bones, and sacred stones, and coins that won’t get tossed. But never fear, for Karma’s here, our causes must surely not be lost.

Folks, the sad fact of the matter is I’m finally dying. As in, the final stages of my CHF – Congestive Heart Failure. MY EF (Ejection fraction, that final strong pulse of the L Ventricle to send the blood that nourishes my organs, and keep them supplied with enough oxygen, is down to 20% or so, and I’m undergoing what they say is “Cascading Organ Failure.” My kidneys are at Stage 3, which means if I drop into Stage 4, I will need regular Dialysis treatments, and I only have about a half a liver these days, although my spleen and pancreas seem to be holding in there OK.

The Hospice organization I chose has done remarkable, extraordinary things, and they seem to make shit happen with just a phone call to get a Dr’s OK, and then to place the order, and have it arrive only a coupla hours later

And I have no expected day to die, they can’t pin it down, so they have to rely on past instances, since everyone’s different. All they can go by are my current symptoms, compared to what previous patients have gone thru, and they estimated I had 6 months left back on Feb 25th. So, I just wanted to say it’s not quite a final farewell, but it’s imminent. One day, in the next 6 months or so, I’ll just drop off of your screens, never to be heard from again, so this way, you’ll know what happened to me, and why.

And I must say it’s been an honor and a privilege to be amongst such folks as think alike, and much as I do. It’s been a pleasure, and we don’t all get along all the time but we keep it civilized.

Which brings up Facebook. I know how most of you feel about FB, but it’s mostly due to bad experiences with unwelcome strangers; coz if you got disgusted by some of your friend’s bad behavior, that has rarely happened to me, and I’ve gotten a lot of enjoyment out of daily use. I have a very select group of friends, and we all share common interests, much like here, on MPS.

I have used it to connect with old friends, as well as make new ones; I belong to a chat room adminned by a polymath in Sweden, I’m friends with a neurologist in Hong Kong, and I have friends in Australia the UK, Ireland and Scotland – all over the world.

What I do mainly is just post political ‘toons and memes, or just plain witty stuff, and I borrow heavily from Scottie’s daily morning ‘toon-fest, along with other boggers and blogesses, and from my own subscriptions.

And without FB, I would never have been able to create something by collaborating with some dude, who requested my friendship a coupla years back. I checked out HIS Page, and was amazed by what I saw; after you watch the presentation he made for me, in only a day-and-a-half*, I’d urge you to check his Home Page out. It’s NOT on FB, he has his own website, so hear goes: (pun intended.)


Click the image to go to the post and hear the song.

Nobody knows da troubles I’ve seen,
And nobody’s seen the bad places I’ve been;
Done lived me a lifetime of fool’ry and sin,
Now look at the trouble I’m in.Now that you know the trouble I’m in,
Is there anything I’d do over again?
My life as it happened
I just can’t rearrange
But there’s nothing that I would changeAnd nobody knows the beauty I’ve seen:
Sunrise and sunsets, and what’s in between;       
Storm clouds or stars, all thru the nite
But so often in them I took no delight.
Nobody knows da troubles I’ve seen,
And nobody’s seen the bad places I’ve been;
Done lived me a lifetime of fool’ry and sin,
Now look at the trouble I’m in.

Once again, it’s been maaaahhvelous, dollinks. I’m totally at peace, I’m all but ready to go, after 25 years of Chronic Pain that could only be marginally reduced with the use of the strongest opioids they could render, which was never enough to actually eliminate the pain, or get it down to under 5 on the Pain Scale of 1 – 10, with one being lowest.
Now that I’m under Hospice Care, they WANT me doped up sufficiently enough to reduce the level down that low, while monitoring me, to ensure I can still function. The next increase they give me will mean surrendering my driver’s license, but by then my son will be taking the Family Medical leave from his job, to spend more time with me, because I will be good & doped up – at least as much as I wanna be, because my tolerances have built up to such high levels that they’re going to have to make a double-strength formula of the drugs they give me to end my life.

It’s NOT considered suicide, it’s a humane way out of a life filled with pain, that’s only going to get worse. I DON’T want to get so bad they put me in a Senior Home, or warehouse me in an Assisted Living Center, because I won’t be able to invoke my right to ease out, and I would have to check out, and get checked into a motel, to complete the process.

I’ve lived a pretty full life in 67 years; I did the kind of work I loved – home building & remodeling, mostly for the instant gratification, of seeing a project come to fruition via the use of my own hands, and the knowledge I gained in the 35 yrs or so I worked in that occupation. It was dirty, hard, sweaty work but I loved it!

Hoping the door don’t slap my ass too hard, I remain forever an incorrigible spitballer, and a proud member of MPS.

Over and out, keep calm, carry on, and remain wary, and hoist one in my memory, if you care to…

Dennis Cole

…and Dennis Cole today.

Posted in Goodbye, Scissorheads Rule | 60 Comments

Rhymes With ‘Tucker’

Noted Black Studies scholar Tucker Carlson’s cheese has slipped off his cracker, his place setting is missing a fork, his fireplace has no flue, whatever metaphor you want to use, he’s it. Dude has lost his melon over the Derek Chauvin verdict:

and then tonight:

Posted in Black Lives Matter, racism, Tucker Carlson, White Punks on Dope | 3 Comments

Bad Design, Cont.

H/T Scissorhead Bruce388

Gives deeper meaning to “Thy rod and thy staff comfort me,” now don’t it?

Posted in Bad Design, Get Off The Cross, Jump for Jeebus | 6 Comments

News That Will Drive You To Drink

Happy Hour News

Trump, in the key of f-u.

The grift goes on:

Company awarded millions by Trump administration to make vaccine syringes has not made even one

Story at a glance

  • A company the Trump administration awarded millions in part to produce syringes for COVID-19 vaccines has not made a single syringe a year later.
  • Connecticut based ApiJect Systems Corp, to date, has not received federal approval necessary to begin production.
  • ApiJect said in response to the initial report that the $590 million loan has not been awarded to date.
  • The company maintains that the reported $456 million loan was taken from contract language, adding that the contract allows ApiJect to seek up to $456 million.

There’s got to be some cream skimmed off the top. LDN would not leave money on the table.

Posted in Grifters Gotta Grift, Lord Damp Nut, The Russian Usurper, Pandemics, Vaccine | Leave a comment

An Inside Job

H/T Scissorhead Skinny-D

Tiger Beat on the Potomac (thanks Charlie!) reports:

A Capitol Police official radioed units outside of the building on the morning of Jan. 6 and told them only to scout for anti-Trump troublemakers — not pro-Trump protesters, according to Rep. Zoe Lofgren, who described what she said were details of an internal investigation conducted in the aftermath of the mob attack.

Lofgren (D-Calif.) revealed the finding while she questioned Capitol Police Inspector General Michael Bolton, who appeared before the House Administration Committee Wednesday to testify about security failures that precipitated the Jan. 6 attack. Lofgren, who chairs the panel, described the findings as she asked him whether he had read the internal investigation reports.

Jeebus, it just gets worse.

Posted in Insurrection, Lord Damp Nut, The Russian Usurper, The Stupid Coup | 2 Comments

Some Fries With Your Stupid, Leon Cooperman?

Sen. Prof. Warren describes Leon Cooperman


Leon Cooperman declines Elizabeth Warren invite to testify at Senate hearing on taxes

You might recall Cooperman said this during the 2020 Goat Rodeo about Warren’s Wealth Tax:

Anyway, Warren invited him to testify…

Warren told Cooperman in the letter she is interested in giving the longtime Wall Street executive “an opportunity to discuss my Ultra-Millionaire Tax Act, which would level the economic playing field and narrow the racial wealth gap by asking the wealthiest 100,000 households in America, or the top 0.05%, to pay their fair share.” The letter was sent to Cooperman on Monday.

…and oddly he turned her down, saying:

“I am not interested in being pilloried by her while she uses me as a foil to promote her far-left manifesto.”

I think you kinda just made her point, Leon. Putz.


Posted in snark | 7 Comments

Midday Palate Cleanser

Posted in cats, Palate Cleansers | 6 Comments

Happy Birthday Space Needle!

The Seattle Space Needle made its public debut on this day in 1962!

Have a second slice of cake, everybody!

Posted in Happy Birthday | 6 Comments

And a 2024 Dark Goat Emerges: Chris Christie

Oh, dear. 

Former New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie is seriously considering running for president in 2024, three people familiar with his thinking tell Axios.

Driving the news: While Christie isn’t saying anything publicly about his thinking — besides telling radio host Hugh Hewitt he’s not ruling it out— people close to him have an early sense of the rationale and outlines of a potential candidacy.

The big picture: Absent another run by former President Trump, the field would be wide open.

“The big picture” – are they body shaming Christie?

Between the lines: Christie has a steep hill to climb if he does decide to run. In 2016, his candidacy got a walloping by Texas Sen. Ted Cruz as well as the unexpected, once-in-a-generation political phenomenon that was Trump.

Also once-in-a-generation: The Trump-Virus.

Axios’ rewriting of history is exactly proof that our Failed Political Press is not done with Lord Damp Nut. They want to set up a Clash of the Titans drama.


Posted in 2024 Goat Rodeo, Axios, Chris 'Traffic Cones' Christie, Chris Christie, media, Our Failed Political Press | 22 Comments

News From Possum Hollar!

Would-be Senator McCloskey (R – Possum Hollar)

Tiger Beat tells us that Mark McCloskey, the infamous gun-toting St. Louis attorney who drew headlines last year for brandishing an assault rifle at Black Lives Matter protesters, is thinking about running for the US Senate seat in Missouri.

McCloskey, a wealthy personal-injury lawyer, said that he had no timeline for making a decision about whether to enter the race for the seat from which Republican Sen. Roy Blunt is retiring. This past weekend, McCloskey spoke at a Jackson County GOP dinner, which also drew former Gov. Eric Greitens and state Attorney General Eric Schmitt, both of whom have announced their candidacies.

So with Greitens under indictment for his sexcapades and the McCloskey previously under indictment for their racist gun escapades, and as MO Attorney General, Schmitt has the opportunity to prosecute his opponents, or let them go? This has got to be a record of some kind.

Possum Hollar must be so proud.

Posted in Crazeee States, Missouri | 6 Comments

Oh, Floriduh!

Antifa Flag
(H/T: Scissorhead Dennis Cole)

Every mouth-breathing Coup Klux Klanner in Floriduh must have been left out in the sun too long:

Florida ‘Anti-Rioting’ Law Will Make It Much Easier to Run Over Protesters With Cars

As of Monday in Florida, a gathering of three or more people can be labeled a “riot”—and if they’re blocking the road and you feel frightened, it’s generally OK to run them over with a car. Historic monuments, however—Confederate and otherwise—receive special protection under the law.

These are just some of the stipulations created by Florida’s new controversial anti-protest bill, which Gov. Ron DeSantis, flanked by law enforcement officers at the Polk County Sheriff’s Office, signed into law on Monday.

I’m waiting for the Proud Boys and other weak-brained malcontents brandishing tiki torches to be run over and for these mouth-breathers to realize that the people they are trying to intimidate have cars, too.

Posted in Black Lives Matter, Crazeee States, Floriduh, racism, White Punks on Dope | 9 Comments