Midday Palate Cleanser

Because we really needed a baby donkey, smiling, in a hammock about now.

Posted in Palate Cleansers | 1 Comment

Live From The Pantheon of Dunces!

Drooling fuckknuckle

A bust from The Pantheon of Dunces

From Tiger Beat on the Potomac’s morning email thingie (so sadly, no link):

MARK HALPERIN TRIES TO INTERVIEW ASSANGE — He traveled to the Ecuadorian Embassy in London in an attempt to interview Julian Assange for Showtime’s political documentary series “The Circus.” No dice on an actual Assange interview — an intermediary appeared and agreed to take in a handwritten question, then returned with a one-word answer (which his lawyer confirmed was from the WikiLeaks founder himself) to the question of what the U.S. media has underreported from the leaked John Podesta emails — “Everything.”

I would have given it the title like, Hacker Whacks Hack, but I’m funny that way.

Anyway, Bravo to Halperin to get Showtime to pay him for a London trip in which he only generated one question and one answer while on an expense account, something he could have done ENTIRELY by email.

Nice work if you can get it.

Posted in Mark Halperin, media, Pundits who make me crazy, Talentless Hacks | 6 Comments

Hold The Presses! Trump Wants To Censor The News!

Before there was Fox News...

Before there was Fox News…

There are many things I would do to reform our press, but this isn’t one of them:

“Well, in England they have a system where you can actually sue if someone says something wrong. Our press is allowed to say whatever they want and get away with it,” Trump told Miami’s CBS affiliate in an interview published Sunday. “I’m a big believer, tremendous believer of the freedom of the press. Nobody believes it stronger than me, but if they make terrible, terrible mistakes and those mistakes are made on purpose to injure people.”

…“Well, in England you have a good chance of winning. And deals are made and apologies are made. Over here they don’t have to apologize,” he said. “They can say anything they want about you or me and there doesn’t have to be any apology. England has a system where if they are wrong, things happen.”

Hair Furer Donald Trump wants the First Amendment to only work for him; he loves the press as long as it is saying what he wants to hear (hint: about how great he is). I’m sure he would prefer to have Pravda-like press where he could censor and dictate coverage. Our Constitution — which Donald loves BIGLY more than anyone else loves it, believe me! — gives only one industry protection and unfettered freedom (maybe two, one could argue that the other is bail bonds). Our press’ problem is not that they are too free, it is that they are too compromised by corporate ownership.

Posted in Death of the Media, media | 6 Comments

The Melt-down Moment:

You can smell the flop-sweat. Bigly:

And then the coup de grace:

The right-leaning Rasmussen poll showing a statistical tie is his proof that they are winning. Sad!

Posted in 2016 Goat Rodeo, Hair Furer, Donald Trump | 6 Comments

15 Days Till The Exciting Conclusion of #The2016GoatRodeo

Blood in the Water, cont.

The SS Priebus?

The SS Priebus?

I thought we should start the day with a run down of some numbers and related stories:

And now for related stories. Let’s start with a quote from Tiger Beat on the Potomac (thanks Charlie!):

“‘Trump is done,’ said Republican operative Jim Dornan, who advised the New York businessman in the preparatory stages of his campaign last year. ‘Barring something completely out of the blue, like Hillary being involved in a murder, I don’t see how he wins.’

So the meme for today: The Republicans are manning the lifeboats, and so the old joke returns: A Rabbi, a GOP Lawyer, and an Evangelical Leader are on a sinking ship!

Rabbi: Women and children first!

GOP Lawyer: Screw the women and children!

Evangelical: OK, but do we have enough time?

Posted in 2016 Goat Rodeo | 3 Comments

One Lump of Stupid or Two, Ben Carson

Benny-the-Blade needs a nap:

I cannot find a source outside of this tweet confirming he actually said that, but it seems in character; and when you search for the phrase, well, you find some interesting research showing that Fox News is a factory of lies.

Posted in 2016 Goat Rodeo, Ben 'Walk Like An Egyptian' Carson, Y'all Qaeda | 1 Comment

Fashion Week, Continued!

Fashion Week

Not everyone can pull off this look, but it is all in the socks. Accessorize, people! It’s what separates us from the rest of the primates!

Truth: my dad used to wear black shoes/socks with shorts. Used to pray that I was adopted.

(Hat tip: Scissorhead Moeman)

Posted in Fashion Week | 11 Comments

How’s the Rebranding Goin’, Reince?

"I love it when a plan comes together!"

“I love it when a plan comes together!”

Just a few odds and ends as they say:

  • Trump advisers went to strip club with members of media: “Page Six has exclusively learned that a trio of senior Trump advisers was fixated on a different type of ‘pole’ the night before Trump’s final debate with Clinton this past week in Las Vegas. The excursions been the talk of the campaign trail…”
  • Log Cabin Republicans board votes against endorsing Trump: “…The move reflects struggles throughout the Republican coalition, though for LGBT conservatives it’s been particularly wrenching. Trump’s rhetoric, they say, has been more pro-gay than any presidential nominee in history.” [It’s always fun to watch the Uncle Tom’s Log Cabin Club NOT endorse the GOP candidate. –TG]
  • GOP vowed to do better with women. So what happened?: “Trump’s candidacy is doing more than turning women away from the top of the ticket. He is alienating scores of them from the GOP more broadly, including some of the party’s most dedicated foot soldiers. It’s a dynamic that some, but not all, Republicans fear will inflict lasting damage on the party’s ability to attract female voters, a key constituency they already struggled with before the improbable rise of Trump. Trump’s woman problem has become the Republican Party’s woman problem, and it could hurt the GOP in national and state elections beyond 2016, analysts as well as some Republicans say.”

May we suggest some ‘Grain Alcohol to go with your Wheaties, Reince?

Posted in 2016 Goat Rodeo, Hair Furer, Donald Trump | 5 Comments

There Once Was A Man From Nantucket…

Let’s start our Sunday with a little poetry slam:

…and then move into the SNL cold opening:

Posted in 2016 Goat Rodeo | 2 Comments

This Exists

Yes, you too can ask Worf to beam down a security detail directly from this blue-tooth enables Star Trek TNG communication badge, which syncs with your smart phone:

Once connected, one touch answers/ends calls, plays/pauses audio, or accesses Siri, Google Now, or Cortana. And, of course, a touch plays that classic communicator sound effect.

Oh, man! My inner geek is totally whimpering, and must be denied.

Posted in snark | 6 Comments