Bad Packaging, Cont.

Nuts to you

About 100 hipsters in my Seattle neighborhood just fainted.

(Hat tip: our sekret Scissorhead on the Twitter Machine @NamelessCynic)

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News That Will Drive You To Drink

Happy Hour News Briefs

From the “You Can’t Quit, You’re Fired” files:

You see, the CEOs on these councils were planning on quitting today in response to Hair Führer’s racist meltdown yesterday. Axios has the deets:

Trump’s announcement came minutes after news broke that one of the groups was disbanding because of Trump’s divisive comments.

The group, the President’s Strategic and Policy Forum, is chaired by Stephen A. Schwarzman, chairman, CEO and co-founder of Blackstone.

“Debate over the forum has become a distraction and the group has decided to disband,” a top executive said as a conference call of the CEOs continued.
How it happened: The decision was made quickly, the executive said: “Given the comments of the last several days, no one could continue to be seen as supporting this kind of divisiveness.”

Even before the group could make its official announcement, Trump tweeted: “Rather than putting pressure on the businesspeople of the Manufacturing Council & Strategy & Policy Forum, I am ending both. Thank you all!”

Trump’s tweet roughly 24 hours prior: “For every CEO that drops out of the Manufacturing Council, I have many to take their place. Grandstanders should not have gone on. JOBS!”

Just as an interesting sidenote: Not one single member of Hair Führer’s Evangelical Council has resigned. Let that sink in for a moment.

Posted in 4th Reich, Family Values, snark, Xristian Xraxies | Leave a comment

Midday Palate Cleanser

“Have you tried the new burger place yet?”

“Yeah, the ambiance isn’t much, but I flipped over the food.”

(Hat tip: Scissorhead Pupienus Maximus)

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Leaks!

Family Fun Day for the New Confederacy

And why do I say that is a leak? Take it away, Brian Stelter: “From the W.H. nightly talking points email: “The president is entirely correct.” Some of the recipients thought the email was so ridiculous that they immediately leaked it to reporters, including yours truly…”

If you read that thing (click the image of the letter to embiggen), it’s just a dog’s dinner (apologies to dogs) and would put anyone who repeats these things into the deplorables’ basket.

The not-so-funny joke I heard last night was a Nazi and 9 sympathizers walk into a bar, and the barkeep says, “Hey! What are 10 Nazis doing in my bar!”

The point is that surrogates for a Nazi sympathizer are just other Nazis. This is an indelible stain that no amount of bleach can be removed from their white robes. I hope that the surrogates really consider what repeating these points does to their professional prospects once the Fourth Reich concludes.

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From the ‘Some of my best friends are black’ Files

Michael Cohen, President Donald Trump’s personal attorney tweets:

I guess his billable hours just took a hit.

Posted in Racism, White Punks on Dope | 9 Comments

Emoluments Clause, Where Is Thy Sting?

American Exceptionalism: Dumpster Diving Eagle

As we learned from Glenngary Glenn Ross, always be closing, which I suppose loosely translated into stupidese for Trump means always be promoting.

Anyway, after giving aid and succor to American Terrorists and White Supremacists and Nazis (oh, My!), Hair Führer for good measure put in a plug for Trump Wine. Because: why not.

The Hill:

During a combative press conference, the president doubled down on claims that both sides were responsible for deadly violence in Charlottesville, where white nationalists held a rally.

As he was leaving the press conference, Trump claimed to be knowledgeable about the town and added that he owned “one of the biggest” wineries in the country there.

But the Trump Winery has a disclaimer on its website that says it is owned by Eric Trump Wine Manufacturing LLC, Mother Jonesreported. [sic]

“Trump Winery is a registered trade name of Eric Trump Wine Manufacturing LLC, which is not owned, managed or affiliated with Donald J. Trump, The Trump Organization or any of their affiliates,” the disclaimerreads. [sic]

I suppose it only makes white wine?

Thank you! I’ll be here all week!

Posted in snark | 4 Comments

Moore, Strange-ness in Alabama!

Jefferson Beauregard ‘Stonewall’ Sessions III Theme Song?

Hey guys, did you know that there was an election last night? It’s true, not FAKE NEWS!!1!

Let’s see how the primary to replace Jefferson Beauregard ‘Stonewall’ Sessions III went down in Alabama!

As you may recall Luther Strange was appointed when Sessions became the AG. He was being challenged by noted dip Rep. Mo Brooks and by dark-horse (hahaha, see what I did there?) twice-removed-from-office Alabama Chief Justice Roy Moore.

The Alabama GOP Senate race is headed to a September runoff, with incumbent Sen. Luther Strange — who had the backing of both President Trump and Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell — set to face-off against conservative favorite Roy Moore.

With about two-thirds of the vote in, the AP reported that the contest was going to a runoff. Moore, a controversial former state Supreme Court chief justice, finished first in Tuesday’s balloting, getting 41% of the vote to Strange’s 32%. Rep. Mo Brooks was a distant third with almost 20%.

Oh, Sweet Jeebus (literally), Y’all Qaeda’s Roy ’10 Commandments’ Moore is fundamentalist xristian theocrat, the kind that scares the Debbil outta me. He’s not an Elmer Gantry wannabe, he’s like Pence: a true believer, who really does believe that the end (meaning the Rapture) justifies the means, praise Jeebus:

That anti-establishment strain is how Moore gained national notoriety in the first place. After refusing to remove a monument of the Ten Commandments from a state judicial building despite a federal court order, Moore was removed from his position atop the state’s court in 2003. In 2012, he was elected to the same post again but was suspended after he ordered judges to enforce Alabama’s ban on same-sex marriage despite the Supreme Court’s 2015 decision legalizing it nationwide. He resigned earlier this year to challenge Strange.

On the positive side if he wins: there’s no way amply be-chinned Mitch McConnell will be able to craft a deal of any kind.  Even Comrade Preznint Stupid realized that Luther Strange was essential to having any kind of legislation come through the Senate and very publicly endorsed him. McConnell was funneling millions of Ameros to Luther Strange’s campaign, so Luther Strange coming in second is a YUGE loss to both the turtle and the shitgibbon. Sad!

Posted in Alabama, Crazeee States | 3 Comments

Is Ari Fleischer Looking For A Job?

Trump, summarized, and you can sing it!
(H/T: Scissorhead Skinny-D)

Chimpy’s first spokesperson in his Reign of Error, Ari “if my lips are moving I’m lying” Fleischer:

“Mainstream Republicans, including former House Speaker Newt Gingrich and former George W. Bush press secretary Ari Fleischer, have defended Trump’s “both sides” argument.

“The president has good reason to also blame, or point the finger, at antifa and BLM. They are not innocent groups,” Fleischer said in an interview Tuesday. “I’m a purist on this. I’m all for counterprotest, but you cannot resort to violence. … If anyone engages in violence, they deserve condemnation.”

“Clearly all sides got at it in Charlottesville on Saturday,” he said.

But then Ari chokes and now he probably won’t get the job:

But he said he was troubled by Trump’s remark that there were “very fine people on both sides.”

“There are no very fine Nazis or Klan members, zero,” Fleischer said.

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(UPDATED) What’s Not Normal Today (Day 209)

Tucker Carlson tells us that opinions vary!

Direct from the White Supremacist House… I always figured that sooner or later Hair Führer would whip his orcs and minions into a frenzy and they would burn down the Reichstag. I didn’t think the Reichstag would burn down because he would set himself on fire.

Let’s begin with some reactions to Comrade Stupid’s, um, impromptu press conference:

  • Merriam-Webster‏ tweeted at 9:15pm: “Top lookups right now: fascism, bigot, racism, complicit, neo-Nazi, nationalism.”
  • NYTimes: “Trump Gives White Supremacists an Unequivocal Boost”
  • MSNBC: “Today he threw a stick of dynamite on the bridge that he laid down yesterday.” — Nicole Wallace
  • David French writing in William Buckley’s racist monthly the National Review: [Trump] “gave the alt-right its greatest national media moment ever…” (the NRO probably meant it as a compliment? Hard to say.)
  • Historian David Maraniss tweeted: “The living former presidents — Bushes, Carter, Clinton & Obama — should make a joint statement calling on the racist Trump to resign…” (We note the tweet went viral.)
  • Former RNC comms director Doug Heye tweeted: “I’ve asked the press offices at both the White House & RNC to remove me from their email lists.”
  • WaPo: “Tuesday was a great day for David Duke and racists everywhere. The president of the United States all but declared that he has their backs…”
  • David Gergen: “Increasingly, people feel he’s posing a danger not just to his party but to the country. He’s going to tear us apart.”

From the NYTimes (linked above):

“President Trump buoyed the white nationalist movement on Tuesday as no president has done in generations — equating activists protesting racism with the neo-Nazis and white supremacists who rampaged in Charlottesville, Va., over the weekend. Never has he gone as far in defending their actions as he did during a wild, street-corner shouting match of a news conference in the gilded lobby of Trump Tower, angrily asserting that so-called alt-left activists were just as responsible for the bloody confrontation as marchers brandishing swastikas, Confederate battle flags, anti-Semitic banners and ‘Trump/Pence’ signs.

“‘Thank you President Trump for your honesty & courage to tell the truth,’ David Duke, a former Ku Klux Klan leader, wrote in a Twitter post shortly after Mr. Trump spoke. Richard B. Spencer, a white nationalist leader who participated in the weekend’s demonstrations and vowed to flood Charlottesville with similar protests in the coming weeks, was equally encouraged. ‘Trump’s statement was fair and down to earth,’ Mr. Spencer tweeted. … No word in the Trump lexicon is as tread-worn as ‘unprecedented.’ But members of the president’s staff, stunned and disheartened, said they never expected to hear such a voluble articulation of opinions that the president had long expressed in private.”

Dylan Byers: watched all of Fox News’ primetime lineup [last night]. Some of his thoughts: 

For the better part of three hours, Tucker Carlson, the co-hosts of “The Five” and Sean Hannity went after liberals and the media instead of criticizing Trump for his decision to draw a moral equivalency between neo-Nazis and leftist protestors.

Fox’s programming stood in stark contrast to the mainstream media’s coverage on the controversial nature of Trump’s remarks. Instead, the night was heavy on “whataboutism.” The average viewer could only have left with the impression that the toppling of some Confederate statues was a far greater threat to America than white supremacism or the President’s apparent defense of bigotry.

If Fox News has a line when it comes to Trump’s presidency, it was not crossed on Tuesday.

Mike ‘Payola’ Allen writing Axios’ morning email thingie:

It started with the dog-whistle presidential campaign: constant plays — some subtle, some blaring — on racial fears.

But it wasn’t until the past five days — in a fight over a Southern statue narrowly, and the stain of slavery broadly — that President Trump officially and indelibly divided the nation over race: setting us back decades, at least for now, in our common purpose of healing old, awful wounds:

  • Yesterday’s unplanned press conference — with Trump’s declaration that “I think there’s blame on both sides” for the violence of Charlottesville, and his searing question: “What about the alt-left?” — was praised by David Duke and alt-right hotbed Breitbart.
  • Let’s be honest with ourselves: A huge chunk of Trump’s base lapped it up, too. That’s what Steve Bannon thought would unfold, and what the president knows instinctively.
  • It was a green light for more hatred, and probably more violence — because now the president has put white supremacy on the same level as angry people reacting harshly to it.
  • Anthony Mason, anchor of the “CBS Evening News,” which devoted the full half hour to the aftermath of Charlottesville, said at the top: “There was no script this time. … President Trump said what he really believes happened in Charlottesville.”

Tiger Beat on the Potomac (thanks Charlie!) morning email thingie:

Good Wednesday morning. PRESIDENT DONALD TRUMP is again in the hot seat after veering off course and reiterating that there was blame on “both sides” of the protests in Charlottesville. Remember all the bluster that recently named chief of staff John Kelly was going to install order and help get Trump’s presidency back on track so Republicans could make good on their promises to pass tax reform and an infrastructure package, not to mention fund the government and raise the country’s borrowing limit? No dice. White House aides we talk to were surprised this happened, but have grown immune to the president’s unpredictability. Many are dispirited. This was a news conference aimed at boosting an infrastructure bill — Trump’s best chance of bipartisan legislating for the year. Instead, he did this. Remember that there are just four-and-a-half months left in this year, and there’s a lot the president wants to get done.

RUBBER MEETS THE ROAD: How much sway is the president going to have with lawmakers as he is saddled with a 34-percent approval rating coming off playing footsie with neo-Nazi and white-supremacist groups?

And then Tiger Beat rounds up some Republican reactions:

REPUBLICANS roundly criticized Trump.

— SPEAKER PAUL RYAN (@SpeakerRyan): “We must be clear. White supremacy is repulsive. This bigotry is counter to all this country stands for. There can be no moral ambiguity.” … SEN. MARCO RUBIO (R-FLA.) (@marcorubio):“Mr. President, you can’t allow #WhiteSupremacists to share only part of blame.They support idea which cost nation & world so much pain 5/6” … “The #WhiteSupremacy groups will see being assigned only 50% of blame as a win. We can not allow this old evil to be resurrected 6/6” … MITT ROMNEY (@MittRomney): “No, not the same. One side is racist, bigoted, Nazi. The other opposes racism and bigotry. Morally different universes.” …

… NRCC CHAIRMAN STEVE STIVERS (@RepSteveStivers): “I don’t understand what’s so hard about this. White supremacists and Neo-Nazis are evil and shouldn’t be defended.” … KEVIN MCCARTHY (@GOPLeader): “Saturday’s violence and tragic loss of life was a direct consequence of the hateful rhetoric & action from white supremacists demonstrating.” … JUSTIN AMASH (@justinamash): “‘Very fine people’ do not participate in rallies with groups chanting racist and anti-Semitic slogans and displaying vile symbols of hate.”

Sing it with me, which one of these is not like the others…

— SENATE MAJORITY LEADER MITCH MCCONNELL (R-KY.) has not publicly commented about Trump’s press conference.

Let’s conclude with this tweet-with-video:

I cannot imagine what is going on in his mind.

UPDATE 1: Tiger Beat Goes where angels fear to tread to summarize the Nazis reaction.

Posted in 4th Reich, snark | 6 Comments

Fashion Week Continued!

Man of the cloth

I bet his confessions are the hit of the seminary.

(Hat tip: Scissorhead Moeman)

Posted in Fashion Week | 5 Comments