A Modest Solution on How to Watch The Future Debates

debate

This I like. Simple, elegant.

Posted in 2016 Goat Rodeo, Hair Furer, Donald Trump | 3 Comments

And Now, A Status Report of Alabama’s Judge Roy Moore

Liberty kisses JusticeAnd now we must turn our attention to the land of Alabama, where the debris meets the sea:

Alabama Chief Justice Roy Moore will appear before a judicial discipline panel Wednesday to answer accusations that he tried to block gay couples from marrying in the Deep South state…

Moore is accused of urging Alabama’s 68 probate judges to refuse marriage licenses to gay couples in defiance of a U.S. Supreme Court ruling. Moore has vehemently denied the accusation, saying he never told probate judges what they should do on the subject of gay marriage.

Want to hear the legal defense? It’s from Mat Staver, the counsel for Gawd’s Own File Clerk Kim Davis:

“He merely gave a status report on the pending case and the JIC overstepped its authority to bring these politically-motivated charges,” said Moore’s attorney Mat Staver.

A status report? Seriously?

“Ah would nevah ordah mah employees t’ deny marriage licenses fur the godless, damned, heathen sodomites,” Moore didn’t say, “it was just a status report that anyone who did let the godless, damned, heathen sodomites marry would burn in Hell fur all eternity with the sodomites. Bless their hearts.”

And what does the opposing counsel say?

John Carroll, a lawyer for the Judicial Inquiry Commission — the group that brought the charges against Moore — told the court last month that Moore’s purpose was clear and now he is trying to “pretend away” the charges.

Is that legalese for praying away teh gay?

“He was on a mission not to recognize federal law on same-sex couples,” Carroll told the court in a hearing last month.

You may recall that Moore was removed as Alabama’s Chief Justice in 2003 when he erected a 10 Commandments statue in the lobby of the State Judicial Building. If this tribunal finds him guilty, it will make Moore the only Chief Justice anyway removed from his post TWICE.

Posted in Homophobia, marriage equality, Y'all Qaeda | 1 Comment

Cringeworthy

Hey guys, let’s watch a supercut of Hair Furer Donald Trump interrupting Hillary Clinton 20+ times during the debate on Monday:

Good times!

The thing to take away from this is not just that he is a loud-mouthed jerk, or that he was rude to a woman (shocking, I know), but that everything got under his skin. Everything is like itching powder to him, and if Crooked Hillary who is probably brain damaged and likely to die from a coughing fit any moment (according to Trumps many surrogates in the Alt-Right Entertainment Industries) could make his go non-linear, imagine what our real enemies could do.

Posted in 2016 Goat Rodeo, Hair Furer, Donald Trump | 2 Comments

Clinton Serves Us Our Claim Chowder! Nom! Nom! Nom!

HillaryDuring the debate the other night many of us (including Watertiger) declared that some of Trumps words were gonna come back and bite him. And now Clinton is serving up a steaming bowl for Hair Furer’s bitter enjoyment:

Speaking to an audience at Wake Technical Community College in Raleigh, North Carolina, the former secretary of state repeated her debate-night claim that Trump’s refusal to release his tax returns may be because he had “paid nothing in federal taxes,” as was true on the few years of his returns that he made public. Trump replied on stage, “That makes me smart.”

“Now, if not paying taxes makes him smart, what does that make all the rest of us?” Clinton asked the crowd.

Chumps, to Donald Trump.

Posted in 2016 Goat Rodeo, Hair Furer, Donald Trump, Hillary Clinton | 5 Comments

GOP Strategy Du Jour: Run Away!

It’s unsourced (from the email thingy of Tiger Beat on the Potomac, dontcha know), but I somehow believe it:

CONTINGENCY PLANNING — Republican operatives are already starting to game out how they’ll counteract Donald Trump’s poor debate performance — especially in tight Senate races. While no one is pushing the panic button yet, one veteran Republican who is involved in several battleground Senate races told Playbook, “If the next two debates are anything like the first, then down-ballot Republicans will have no choice but to shift messages and emphasize their ability to keep a Clinton White House in check.”

And then some polling:

We have a brand-new post-debate poll that confirms Hillary Clinton got a small bump over Donald Trump from her performance. Clinton is up THREE POINTS among likely voters in the POLITICO/Morning Consult poll of the four-way race for president. Before the debate Trump was up ONE POINT. JUST NINE PERCENT of respondents said the debate changed their mind about who to vote for.
Here are some other key findings of the poll, which was conducted online Monday and Tuesday among 1,253 likely voters with a margin of error of three points.
–LESTER HOLT WAS SEEN AS FAIR. 42% of respondents said Holt was impartial. 27% said he was more favorable to Clinton and 2% said he favored Trump.
–CLINTON WAS THE WINNER. This tracks with practically all other reputable public polling: 49% say Clinton won and 26% say Trump won. 18% of Republicans say Clinton won.
–VOTERS WERE RIVETED. 72% of likely voters watched the debate, and 55% of those viewers watched the whole 95-minute affair. Half of those polled said they would watch the debate again.

They use the editorial word JUST when saying nine percent of respondent changed their minds about how they were voting. That’s actually YUGE.

Posted in 2016 Goat Rodeo, Hair Furer, Donald Trump | 3 Comments

Bedside Reading, Cont.

The Mid-Life Crisis

I really, truly want to believe this isn’t a photoshop. And not coincidentally, I hope this is a how-to: there are several dream cars on that cover.

Posted in Bedside Reading | 4 Comments

News That Will Drive You To Drink

Happy Hour News Briefs

Joseph Farah Has Nothing To Say.

Joseph Farah Has Nothing To Say.

Curiosity got the cat, and satisfaction brought him back: yes, I went to World Nut Daily today to see what Original Birther Joseph Farah said about the debate last night: ARRRGGGHHHH! HILLARY WINS ROUND 1

I think that the apocalypse must truly be with us. If anyone spots the other 3 Horsemen, let me know.

Posted in Hair Furer, Donald Trump, Hillary Clinton, Talentless Hacks | 3 Comments

Crazy Unkka Pat Warns Us All

Them crazy-shaped dice are the Debbil’s Tools!

And before we dismiss his ravings as an old lunatic theocrat, remember that he almost was the GOP nominee once upon a time back in the 1980s.

Posted in Pat Robertson, Theocrats | 6 Comments

In Case You Were Wondering About Those Online Polls… UPDATED

…showing that Hair Furer Donald Trump won the debate last night, Trump Dancedon’t worry. Trump’s orcs, mouth-breathers, toadies and minions little hands were busier than a 13-year old boy with his older brother’s box of Playboys (only guessing, of course):

Be careful: 4Chan is the source of many of Lenny/Squiggy/Udsay/Qudsay Trumps’s racist memes. It seems to be Stormfront: The Next Generation.

UPDATE1: In the comments, Spocko alerts us to fraud, and then like magic: BOOM!

Posted in 2016 Goat Rodeo, Hair Furer, Donald Trump, The New Confederacy | 7 Comments

Your Midday Palate Cleanser

“If you know the enemy and know yourself, you need not fear the result of a hundred battles.” — The Art of War by Sun Tzu

Posted in dogs, Palate Cleansers | 3 Comments