Secret Sauce or The Mojo No-No?

Sweet Jeebus, no.

Posted in 2-drink minimum, dim-o-crats | 1 Comment

Republican Purity Doomed Their Midterm Results

H/T Scissorhead Skinny-D

It seems that in the recent elections, it wasn’t that Team Evil didn’t turn out, it’s that the Republicans voted for the Democrats (emphasis. mine):

After yet another disappointing showing for Republicans in Georgia’s Senate runoff on Tuesday, some conservatives — like Sean Hannity, Newt Gingrich and Kevin McCarthy — have begun to point to a surprising culprit: a failure to take advantage of early voting.

The theory seems to be that Republicans are losing because early voting is giving Democrats a turnout edge. It follows a similar conversation after the midterm elections, when a chorus of conservatives said Republicans needed to start encouraging mail voting.

But as more data becomes available on turnout in this year’s election, it is quite clear that turnout was not the main problem facing Republicans.

Pay attention here:

In state after state, the final turnout data shows that registered Republicans turned out at a higher rate — and in some places a much higher rate — than registered Democrats, including in many of the states where Republicans were dealt some of their most embarrassing losses.

Instead, high-profile Republicans like Herschel Walker in Georgia or Blake Masters in Arizona lost because Republican-leaning voters decided to cast ballots for Democrats, even as they voted for Republican candidates for U.S. House or other down-ballot races in their states.

Show your work, NateCohn/NYTimes!

Take Maricopa County in Arizona. It’s home to Phoenix and around 70 percent of the state’s voters. Some Republicans say — without any clear evidence — they faltered in Arizona because some Maricopa voters were unable to cast ballots at the polls on Election Day, but the final turnout data shows that 75 percent of registered Republicans turned out, compared with 69 percent of Democrats. That was enough to yield an electorate in which registered Republicans outnumbered Democrats by nine percentage points. Yet Republicans like Mr. Masters and Kari Lake lost their races for Senate and governor.

Or consider Clark County in Nevada. There, 67 percent of Republicans voted, compared with 57 percent of Democrats, implying that Republicans probably outnumbered Democrats statewide. Yet the Democrat — Catherine Cortez Masto — prevailed in the Senate race while Republicans won the governorship and also won the most votes for the House.

Going back to a highlight above, Nate concludes:

Wherever I’ve dug into the data, I see a similar story. You can read comprehensive analyses of North Carolina, Florida or New York, all showing a considerable Republican edge as well.

In the key Senate states mentioned in this article, Republican House candidates received more votes than Democratic ones. The final Times/Siena polls showed that voters in Pennsylvania, Georgia, Arizona and Nevada preferred Republican control of the Senate.

It’s fair to say voters in these key states probably preferred Republican control of government, in no small part because more Republicans showed up to vote. They just didn’t find Republican candidates they wanted to support at the top of the ticket.

I have a hard time believing that a Republican would split their vote and pull the lever for a Democrat, but I do not have a hard time believing that they might leave it blank, and that effectively is a vote for the Democrat. A possibility that Cohn doesn’t analyze but might be in play is that the Republican voter might have thought that their candidate was a RINO.

It happens on the Left all the time. The Susan Sarandons  never, ever hold their noses and takes one for the team. They will NOT be sullied!

There’s all sorts of reasons why a Republican might not vote for their candidate, and the Republican Purity Patrol lurks in their ranks just as they do in ours.

UPDATE 1: in the comments, Scissorhead BDR spots a really obvious, glaring error:

I call shenanigans.

A THIRD of registered voters in AZ are ‘Others’, aka ‘Independents’

Any analysis that tries to figure this out by only comparing R/D turnout is bullshit.

Steaming, rank, FTFNYT bullshit.


Posted in 2022 Pie Fight | 3 Comments

Meanwhile, In Arizona

The terrible sand people of the terrible sand kingdom of Arizonastan.

The Terrible Sand People of the Terrible Sand Kingdom of Arizonastan have been busy. We’ll begin with Kari Lake:

Go that? Jeebus demands a recount.

Next, we move on to Rep. Paul Gosar, the Mad Dentist of Flagstaff, who apparently is no big fan of the Constitution hisself:

Rep. Paul Gosar (R-Ariz.) tweeted and then deleted a post on Wednesday supporting former President Trump’s call for terminating the election rules in the Constitution.

“I support and agree with the former President. Unprecedented fraud requires unprecedented cure,” he said, accompanied by a screenshot of Trump’s post on Truth Social.

Except, oops, people read his Tweet. Totally didn’t expect that, I guess. Anyway, his tweet mysteriously disappeared and one of his spokespeople appeared (and if you don’t believe that there is a hell, consider someone whose job consists of explaining what The Mad Dentist actually meant):

A spokesman for Gosar said in a statement that Gosar has a “decade of votes” to prove he is a strict constitutionalist…

“Those who claim either Trump or Congressman Gosar don’t believe in the Constitution are acting in bad faith or are low IQ people unable to comprehend our language and our actions,” the Gosar spokesman said.

There’s a reason that gaslighting is the word of 2022.

Posted in 2022 Pie Fight, Arizonastan, Crazeee States, Kari Lake, Paul Gosar | 4 Comments

Nazis and Nutjobs: Q-Anon Goes To Mar-a-Lardo!

2024 Goat Rodeo

Liz Crokin, the 3-fingered Q-Spiracist, was at Merde-a-Lardo, and guys, you’ll never believe who she met!

A prominent adherent of the QAnon and “Pizzagate” conspiracy theories posed for photos with former President Donald Trump at his Mar-a-Lago resort Tuesday night after speaking at an event hosted at the club, according to photos and videos posted to social media.

The event came two weeks after Trump had dinner at Mar-a Lago with rapper Ye, formerly known as Kanye West, who recently spoke positively about Hitler, and far-right YouTuber Nick Fuentes, who the Department of Justice has labeled a white supremacist. The meeting sparked outrage despite Trump’s claim he did not know who Fuentes was.

Videos and photos posted to social media appear to show Liz Crokin, a prominent promoter of QAnon and pro-Trump conspiracy theories, speaking at an event at Mar-a-Lago and later posing for photos with Trump. In one photo, the duo make a “thumbs up” sign together.

As far as we know, Crokin is only a sex-obsessed nut job and not an anti-Semitic and or Nazi nut job.

But wait! It get’s better, and by better I mean weirder:

According to social media posts, the event was billed as a fundraiser in support of a “documentary” on sex trafficking — one of the pillars of the QAnon conspiracy theory. The website for the film, which includes multiple falsehoods and claims of mass sex-trafficking in Hollywood, boasts that it is “Banned by YouTube, Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and PayPal.”

Mar-a-Lago often hosts events for outside groups.

Way outside.

Lord Damp Nut of course addressed the group, because of course he did:

“You are incredible people, you are doing unbelievable work, and we just appreciate you being here and we hope you’re going to be back,” Trump said in remarks to the crowd, according to a video of his speech.

He sees a mic and he’s drawn to it.

But who else was there?

Darlene Swaffar, a former Republican congressional candidate who attended the event, told ABC News she was happy to see the former president address attendees. She also said that other prominent conservatives who were in attendance included former national security adviser and retired Lt. Gen. Michael Flynn, former Alaska governor Sarah Palin, and Seth Keshel, a retired U.S. Army captain who has worked to challenge the results of the 2020 presidential election. Swaffar posted photos with both Flynn and Palin taken at the event.

All the animals come out at night.

Posted in 2024 Goat Rodeo, Hair Führer Donald Trump, Liz '3-fingers' Crokin, Q-spiracy | 2 Comments

Have Yerself A Merry Little X-Mas from MPS

H/T Scissorhead Skinny-D

And all this time I thought it was coal he left your stocking if you were bad.

Our newest, most heartwarming Christmas Tradition continues in the MPS style you’ve grown to love.

If you would like to participate in our festive X-MAS OF DOOM holiday, send your pics to Tengrain AT mockpaperscissors DOT com.

Remember, there are mouth-breathing, fetus-fondling, Gawd Botherers in Possum Hollar going to bed tonight without us laughing at them, so won’t give generously?

Posted in Bad Holidays, Christmas, holidays | 3 Comments

News That Will Drive You to Drink

Happy Hour News

Goodbye, Ivana!

Guys, it is time to exhume Ivana:

Lawyers for Donald Trump found at least two items marked classified after an outside team hired by Trump searched a storage unit in West Palm Beach, Fla., used by the former president, according to people familiar with the matter.

Those items were immediately turned over to the FBI, according to those people, who like others spoke on the condition of anonymity to discuss sensitive matters.

Sweet Jeebus, that crook has stolen classified material stored all over the place and none of it in properly secured facilities. Jack Smith, the new special counsel, should have every property in the Trump Crime Family possession searched from top to bottom.

Posted in espionage, Hair Führer Donald Trump, Trump Crime Family | 2 Comments

Midday Palate Cleanser


Reply to @hello23l WHY ARE CALICOS LIKE THIS

♬ original sound – beancurd – beancurd

Congrats! You’ve just trained Beancurd (top-notch name, by the way) to prevent you from working at home.

Posted in cats, Palate Cleansers | 1 Comment

It’s All About You, Madge

Man, she’s as much of a narcissist as TFG:


Posted in 2022 Pie Fight, Herschel Walker, Rep. 3-names Perjury Taylor Greene | 12 Comments

Translating From The Weasel-Speak

Longer amply be-chinned Mitch McConnel, translated from the weasel:

“Ah’ll support th’ Republican candidate, even if he is a life-long opportunist,  pathological liar, malignant narcissist, sociopath, philanderer, tax cheat, deadbeat, who socializes with anti-Semite Holocaust deniers and Nazis, pardons his criminal allies, encourages a violent insurrection, and who, undermines American democracy.”

Weasel-speak is very concise, as you can see.

Posted in snark | 3 Comments

Desperate Times, Desperate Measures, Desperation

I cannot remember if I have mentioned that Kevin McCarthy is bad at his job. I have, haven’t I?

Anyway, K-Mac has released his detailed plan of what the GOP-lead House will do when he’s in charge of the 118th Congress:

  • Department of Homeland Security and our Open Border Crisis
  • Big Tech and the Silencing of Americans’ Free Speech
  • China
  • Security
  • COVID Origins
  • Hunter Biden
  • Disastrous Afghanistan Withdrawal
  • Washington Spending
  • DOJ / FBI
  • Education & Woke Ideology
  • Energy Production & American Industry
  • IRS Politicization & Abuse
  • Breaking the Swamp’s Bureaucracy

Of course, you can spot the deals K-Mac made with MAGA to get the gavel, and you can guess which of those items were dictated by El Presidente-for-Life Hair Füror, and of course which items are always on their to-do list.

There’s no indication that there is any hierarchy to this list, just a brain dump (such as it is). So, for instance, here’s the justification for Big Tech and the Silencing of Americans’ Free Speech:

Fundamental American rights are being threatened by the bias of Big Tech companies and their “special relationship” with government officials. We’ve seen Americans silenced, the truth censored, and viewpoints suppressed. House Republicans have a duty to ensure our fundamental freedoms prevail. We will investigate:

  • Coordination and collusion with the Federal Government and intelligence officials to silence speech
  • Twitter, Facebook, and Google censoring information and suppressing Free Speech
  • TikTok’s threat to national security and Paypal’s debanking efforts

The observant reader might note just the faintest whiff of BS. Unless something has changed dramatically, I do not recall any law being enacted that strips free-speech rights, and gosh, Corporations Are People, My Friends ™ means that they get to set their own rules for their own platforms.

Republicans don’t believe much in free speech, but they do believe in forced listening.

There’s a lot I can say about corporations having more rights than actual people, but this is just nonsense. Anyway, have fun reading his justification for inclusion on the list and comment freely below.

Posted in K-Mac Kevin McCarthy, Wingnuttia | 6 Comments