Bad Ads, Cont.

I cannot believe it is not a real product. Too / Also.

(Hat tip: Scissorhead Mr. C. Montgomery Burns)

Posted in Badvertising | 1 Comment

News That Will Drive You To Drink

Happy Hour News Briefs

Frequent flood victim (say, what is Gawd trying to tell him?) Tony Perkins, president of the SPLC-designated hate group Family Research Council, has a surprise nomination to take over for Nikki Haley as the US Ambassador to the United Nations THAT WILL SEND A THRILL UP THE LEG OF EVERY SCISSORHEAD:

Told ya it would drive ya to drink!

Posted in One-L Bachmann the Nutjobber, Theocrats, Tony Perkins | 5 Comments

Come’ on…. Ted

Another pitch-perfect, brilliant ad that makes fun out of how out-of-touch Ayatollah Ted Cruz is with Texas.

Posted in 2018 Pie Fight, Ayatollah Ted Cruz, Crazeee States, Texas | 11 Comments

Midday Palate Cleanser

Posted in dogs, Palate Cleansers | 1 Comment

The Moral Clarity of Wall Street

The kings and princes of Big Bidness kings have been dropping out of the Future Investment Initiative in Riyadh, better known as Davos in the Desert. They decided that pal’ing around (is too a verb!)  with ol Prince ‘Bonesaw’ bin Salman might not be good PR for their firms. Go figure.

But of course, Wall Street C.E.O.s,  who are sort of humanity-challenged anyway, were still expected to attend rather than damage long-standing blood-sucking some advantageous relationships. Finding themselves stuck between a PR-disaster and a bonesaw, a trio Bankster Bastards (ALLEGEDLY!) attempted to come up with their own Plan 9 From Outer Space!

The NYTimes:

Over the weekend, [JPMorgan C.E.O. Jamie] Dimon consulted by telephone with two other powerful Wall Street executives, the head of BlackRock, Laurence D. Fink, and Blackstone Group’s chief, Stephen Schwarzman, said two people familiar with the conversations. All three depend on the kingdom for revenue.

Mr. Dimon, Mr. Fink, and Mr. Schwarzman pressed Saudi officials to postpone the event, the two people said. The three executives and their staffs reached out to the Treasury Department and urged Treasury Secretary Steven Mnuchin to press for the event to be postponed or to publicly make his attendance conditional on more disclosure from the Saudis about Mr. Khashoggi’s disappearance.

When that failed, they finally pulled out of attendance. Yay! Moral Clarity on Wall Street! Whodda thunkit!

Wait. What’s that, you say?

Posted in Bankster Bastards, blood sucking leeches, CEO Bastards | 4 Comments

Free Speech, With Tucker Carlson

Tucker Carlson

As we say around MPS, Punching a nazi is a good thing.

You know what else is a good thing? Shouting “Fuck you” at Tucker Carlson is a good thing. We are all about the free speech here.

Carlson said on a National Review podcast that he was “not a restaurant guy anymore,” because people have been shouting curses at him in public. There is no reason that Tucker Carlson, or Kirstjen Nielsen, or Ted Cruz, or Sarah Huckabee Sanders should ever again be able to dine in public without hearing from We The People. (It’s not like we shaved their heads and marched them through the streets so decent people could spit on them…)

The Hollywood Reporter:

“I can’t really go to a lot of restaurants anymore because I get yelled at,” he said on a National Review podcast released Monday. “I don’t feel threatened, but having someone scream, ‘Fuck you!’ at a restaurant, it just wrecks your meal.”

So clearly, this is an effective way of protesting hebephrenic TeeVee Dinner heir, vanity press owner, and Black Studies scholar Fox News’ own Tucker Carlson, and we should avail ourselves of every opportunity to tell Tucker to go fuck himself.

“Here’s your change Mr. Carlson. Go fuck yourself, ” or, “Here’s your dry cleaning Mr. Carlson, go fuck yourself, ” or “Tickets please, Mr. Carlson, now go fuck yourself,” and my personal favorite, “Have a nice day, except you Mr. Carlson, you can fuck right off.”

Now, I am not suggesting that anyone threatens Tucker with physical harm, no menacing, no touching, no pounding inanimate objects around him. That would be bad, and more importantly, that would be illegal

But shouting “Fuck you” at him is a pretty good, legal way to make your outrage known.

Tucker has a gigantic platform that he uses to broadcast hate and disinformation directly into the homes of Possum Hollar, who eat it up like a TeeVee Dinner. (See what I did there?) You could ask ol’ Tucker why he repeats white nationalists/supremacists talking points on his show. He won’t answer you, of course, but you can ask him, loudly, until one of you has to leave the joint. Hint: Tucker will wanna leave. And of course, remember to tell Tucker to Fuck Off as one of you leaves. Manners count.

If Carlson wants to enjoy a steak at any restaurant of his choice, he can stop saying trash on TeeVee. Tucker is, of course, protected by the First Amendment and can say all racist shit he wants on his show, and you are protected by the First Amendment when you tell him, loudly and in public to FUCK OFF.

Posted in First Amendment, Tucker Carlson | 8 Comments

Clue: Prznint Mango-Hued Shitgibbon, In the Saudi Embassy, Using a Bonesaw!

Prznint Mango-Hued Shitgibbon, In the Saudi Embassy, Using a Bonesaw!

Who knows what happened to Jamal Khashoggi, the U.S.-based WaPo journalist and Saudi dissident who disappeared after entering the Saudi Consulate in Istanbul?

Someone should ask ol’ Mohammed ‘Bonesaw’ Bin Salman, but instead Prznint Stupid asked the senile king, and then suggested that “rogue killers,” not the royal family, may be to blame for Khashoggi’s suspected murder.

And in related news, OJ Simpson still has not found Nicole Brown Simpson’s* killer.

(Hat tip: Scissorhead Miroker for the correction)

Posted in Comrade Preznint Stupid, The Russian Usurper, Conspiracy Theorists | 11 Comments

Bad Design, Cont.

Bad Album Art

Given the fit of his trousers, it appears he did schat.

(Hat tip: Scissorhead Skinny-D, who wants all you cats and kittens to dig the groovy tunes of this hip LP)

Posted in Bad Design | 6 Comments

News That Will Drive You To Drink

Happy Hour News Briefs

Our old pal Dr. Chaps whoops it up that there are no gay Republican candidates, gives thanks to Prznint Stupid for cleansing the Republican Party of sin(!), and to Possum Hollar for cleansing the Republican party of such filth, TBD.

Dr. Chaps, in other words, is wading in denial, and we ain’t talking Moses’ baby-express river, either. I submit into evidence: Lindsey Graham, Stormy Daniels et al, and Brett Kavanaugh.

The prosecution rests.

Posted in Dr. Chaps, Theocrats | 3 Comments

Midday Palate Cleanser

(Hat tip: Scissorhead Purplehead)

Another satisfied reader visits MPS World HQ and has a suggestion for improving the blog…

(And yes, birds are jerks.)

Posted in Palate Cleansers | 5 Comments