Mock Paper Scissors

Wilbur Ross hard at work

Yesterday, Scissorheads on Twitter were tweeting this story about living Unisom Wilbur Ross at me…

OMG. “Because he tends to fall asleep in meetings, they try not to put him in a position where that could happen” https://t.co/ZgxjeR1nS3

— Neal Katyal (@neal_katyal) July 22, 2019

…which I guess means I need to address this Politico story head-on:

The Commerce Department has reached its apex of dysfunction under Wilbur Ross, according to four people with knowledge of the inner workings of the department. The 81-year-old Commerce secretary, who has for months endured whispers that he is on the outs, spends much of his time at the White House to try to retain President Donald Trump’s favor, the sources said, leaving his department adrift.

A department adrift is the goal with the 4th Reich. But do continue.

“He’s sort of seen as kind of irrelevant. The morale is very low there because there’s not a lot of confidence in the secretary,” said a former outside adviser to Commerce who is still in touch with many employees at the department. “He’s not respected in the building.”

Ibid.

Ross doesn’t hold routine meetings with senior staffers, according to a person familiar with the department’s inner workings and a former outside adviser — a departure from past practice that one source attributed to the secretary’s lack of stamina.

“Because he tends to fall asleep in meetings, they try not to put him in a position where that could happen so they’re very careful and conscious about how they schedule certain meetings,” said the former outside adviser. “There’s a small window where he’s able to focus and pay attention and not fall asleep.”

Ah, now we’re getting somewhere. I can almost hear the angry bark of “LOW ENERGY! SAD!”

But we’ve known about Ross’ dropping off to sleep for years:

The few times when Ross has been awake during the last two years he’s used his time to:

• describe the bombing of another country as after-dinner entertainment for the enjoyment of the members of Trump’s Merde-a-Lardo.
• conceal his investments in a shipping company, and then selling it and essentially shorting Vlad Putin!
• fail to divest from holding stocks as promised.
• suggest to furloughed gubmint employees unable to pay their bills during the shutdown to shut-up take out a loan.
• try (and hilariously fail) to get a citizenship question added to the 2020 census, for the purpose of gerrymandering electoral districts.
• steal Sweet-n-Low packets.

So here’s the stuff that will probably get him booted because Comrade Stupid doesn’t care about Wilbur Ross’ obvious grifting:

• The unsuccessful attempt to screw the Census.
• Not being as rich as claimed. Trump hates millionaire losers!
• OK, we’ll include LOW ENERGY!

Yeah, he’ll probably be YOU’RE FIRED’ed pretty soon.