News That Will Drive You To Drink

Happy Hour News

H/T Scissorhead Skinny-D

Whatever it was that got into the water in the Terrible Sand Kingdom of Arizonastan has now spread to Wisconsinski, too/also.

Wisconsin Republican promises forensic election audit

MADISON, Wis. (AP) — The Republican head of the Wisconsin Assembly elections committee said Monday she will ensure there is a “comprehensive, forensic examination” of ballots cast in the 2020 presidential election at the same time the state’s nonpartisan audit bureau conducts a review.

Looking for traces of bamboo, is she?

One of the loudest critics of how the election was run is Rep. Janel Brandtjen, chair of the Assembly elections committee. She said in a statement Monday that her committee will request additional materials to conduct a deeper review.

The committee’s investigation is in addition to a review ordered by Republican Assembly Speaker Robin Vos, being done by three retired police detectives and overseen by a former Wisconsin Supreme Court justice, and the independent review by the audit committee.

Another separate, independent investigation is being done by several individuals convinced there was widespread fraud in Wisconsin, despite no evidence. That effort is being led by Peter Bernegger, who was convicted of mail fraud and bank fraud in federal court in Mississippi in 2009.

And you thought there were a lot of lakes in Wisconsinski. FOUR different audits, all with different nut jobbers all on a voting snipe hunt.

Maybe Wisconsinski Republicans can get a group rate:

H/T Scissorhead Dennis Cole

Posted in 2020 Goat Rodeo, Crazeee States, Lord Damp Nut, The Russian Usurper, The Big Lie, The Coup Klux Klan (Republicans), Wisconsin | Leave a comment

Some Fries With Your Stupid, JD Vance?

Sweet, sweet relief

Elegy for a Senate Candidate, J.D. Vance, the most authentic Yale-educated, investment-banker hillbilly, ladies and germs:

“Vance’s Twitter likes, which were still visible as of Monday afternoon, include two tweets supporting Hillary Clinton’s 2016 candidacy, a post implying Trump supporters are antisemitic, and multiple tweets indicting Trump’s character. One tweet even accuses then-candidate Trump of sexual assault, and another calls him ‘psychologically disturbed.’ He also liked two tweets mocking Melania Trump.”

Posted in Elegy for a Senate Candidate, J.D. Vance | 5 Comments

Midday Palate Cleanser

H/T @NamelessCynic, friend of the blog

What a jerk.

Posted in Birds Are Jerks, Palate Cleansers | 2 Comments

Please Clap: Hair Füror Shivs Another Bush

When last we checked in on Chimpy’s nephew, George P. Bush (the Texas Land Commissioner with aspirations to inherit the family bidness), young Pee was cozying up to autocrats and dictators, or at least would-be ones, who, you know have crapped all over his family:

(This STILL is the pinned tweet on his Twitter account, by the way.)

…but the would-be autocrat and dictator Hair Füror only yesterday announced his endorsement of Pee’s opposition and current Texas AG Ken Paxton:

“Former President Donald Trump endorsed Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton as he seeks his third term, a major boost for the embattled Republican that also stymies one of Paxton’s primary opponents, Land Commissioner George P. Bush.

“Bush, the only prominent member of his family to back Trump in the 2016 election, had sought the former president’s endorsement and even distributed drink koozies at his campaign kickoff that featured a supportive quote from Trump and a photo of the two shaking hands.”

Shivving a Bush is one of Hair Füror’s favorite hobbies, and young Pee proved that he is indeed a Bush following in Poppy’s footsteps: sell out everything you believe in for the sake of getting power.

 

Posted in 2022 Pie Fight, Chimpy's Crime Family, George Pee Bush, Lord Damp Nut, The Russian Usurper, Texas, America's Lab for Bad Policy | 13 Comments

From the Legal Mind of Senatorette Lindsey Graham

Senatorette Lindsey Graham (R- Stars and Garters) suggests that the answer to gun violence is [checks notes] vigilanteism:

Eiron, the Goddess of Irony, is starring slack-jawed at the hambone.

Posted in Guns! Guns! Guns!, Senatorette Miss Lindsey Graham, snark | 5 Comments

The Stupid Coup Insurrection Commission Starts!

Seething Rage.
(image courtesy Scissorhead MonkeyFister)

Today Tiger Beat on the Potomac (thanks Charlie!) gossip thingie leads with some actual insight (all formatting is theirs, don’t ask me why):

POLITICO Playbook: Is McCarthy prepared for Trump’s wrath about the Jan. 6 committee?

THIS IS GOING TO BE AN ALL-AROUND TOUGH DAY for House Minority Leader KEVIN MCCARTHY — and to a large degree, it’s a self-inflicted predicament.The House’s Jan. 6 committee makes its debut this morning.

For the first time across dozens of high-profile Trump-related oversight hearings, Republican leadership and allies will have no voice on the panel. (It’s going to be weird for us Hill watchers who are used to Rep. JIM JORDAN (R-Ohio) lobbing procedural grenades into proceedings to start fights. More on that from Olivia Beavers …)

McCarthy’s rather abrupt decision last week to pull his members from the Jan. 6 committee means that Democrats — and their two GOP allies on this issue, LIZ CHENEY (Wyo.) and ADAM KINZINGER (Ill.) — will have free rein to set the narrative. (This is why several folks on McCarthy’s own leadership team thought that pulling out was a bad idea.)

[snip]

— Meanwhile, McCarthy wants to focus attention on Speaker NANCY PELOSI’s unprecedented power move last week to block two Republican lawmakers from the Jan. 6 committee. House GOP leaders will have a press conference this morning before the hearing, no doubt looking to try and frame the day’s proceedings.

— But ask yourself this: Do you think McCarthy’s complaints about Pelosi will mollify DONALD TRUMP when he turns on his TV and sees no Republicans on the dais defending him?

It seems like a safe wager.

K-Mac is is getting out-played not just by Nancy Smash, but by Reps. Marjorie Taylor Greene, Matt Gaetz, Paul Gosar and Louie Gohmert (four of the biggest morons in his caucus) who are going to try to distract from the commission by “demanding answers on the treatment of January 6th prisoners” outside the Justice Department.

K-Mac, as we’ve noted before, is a dope.

 

Posted in The Coup Klux Klan (Republicans), The Stupid Coup | 7 Comments

One Lump of Stupid or Two?

H/T Scissorhead D-Cap

Mein Pillow Guy, billionaire Mike Lindell went on Steve Bannon’s show to let us know that when he presents his evidence at his symposium, well, the Russian Usurper will be reinstalled as przninit (or something):

Got that? After the U.S. Supreme Court sees his compelling evidence of election fraud at an upcoming “symposium,” President Joe Biden and Vice President Kamala Harris will say, “Hey, we’re here to protect the country” and resign.

Which, if it happened, would mean that Nancy Pelosi is president.

Mike Lindell is an idiot.

But it probably doesn’t matter because…

Posted in 2020 Goat Rodeo, Conspiracy Theorists, Kamala Harris, Lord Damp Nut, The Russian Usurper, Nancy Pelosi, President Handsome Joe Biden, Q-spiracy, The Big Lie | 11 Comments

UPDATED: Great Signs, Cont.

H/T Scissorhead Bruce388

That’s a sermon I might listen to. Heck, that’s a sermon I might give!

UPDATE 1: Scissorhead Mountjoy —who else!— sends us some context.

Posted in Great Signs, Gundamentalists, Guns! Guns! Guns! | 3 Comments

News That Will Drive You To Drink (Theocracy Edition)

Happy Hour News

Guys, the Theocrats want you to meet your maker:

Churchgoers with face masks will be removed, Tennessee pastor says. ‘I’m sick of it’

A Tennessee pastor threatened to boot mask-wearers from his Tennessee church as some places are taking additional measures to help protect against the more contagious coronavirus delta variant.

“If they go through round two and you start showing up (with) all these masks and all this nonsense, I will ask you to leave,” pastor Greg Locke told his Nashville-area congregation during a service on Sunday. “I will ask you to leave. I am not playing these Democrat games up in this church.”

Locke’s comments at Global Vision Bible Church come as some U.S. communities reconsider face mask recommendations during the continued spread of the delta variant. Locke in his sermon criticized officials for eyeing potential restrictions.

and in related news…

“I believe we need a Judeo-Christian revolution in this country.”
–Josh Mandel, who is campaigning for the open Ohio Senate seat only in churches

And we couldn’t have a theocracy round up without the fetus-fondling, gawd-botherers…

“In a 33-page brief, Sens. Josh Hawley (R-MO), Mike Lee (R-UT) and Ted Cruz (R-TX) asked the court to use a Mississippi case to be reviewed next term as a vehicle to overturn Roe v. Wade and related rulings.”

“Roe and Casey should be overruled, and the question of abortion legislation should be returned to the states.”

Posted in Ayatollah Ted Cruz, Blog Against Theocracy, Proud Boi-Lite Sen. Josh Hawley, Theocrats | 10 Comments

Some Fries With Your Stupid?

Republican state Rep. Matt Schaefer seems to think that his ultra-conservative position on forced birth reflects positively on himself because, you know: TALIBAN.

Everyone in a theocracy loves a squealer, I guess?

Gonna guess Texas women might have a different opinion, but in the meanwhile Texas Republicans, keep on praising your similarities to the Taliban. Such a winning message!

Posted in Choice, Forced Birth, Texas, America's Lab for Bad Policy, War on Women, Y'all Qaeda | 8 Comments