Bad Signs, cont.

(H/T @NamelessCynic of the Tweeterverse)

They seem to be struggling with the concept.

Posted in Bad Signs | 1 Comment

News That Will Drive You To Drink

Happy Hour News Briefs

It’s a Q-Spiracy, I tells ya!

¡GASP!

You mean Chief Justice Roberts was eating the famous Podesta Bolognese sauce in the basement of Comet Ping Pong, too, also?

Dudette needs to have her meds adjusted.

Posted in Ann Vandersteel, Conspiracy Theorists, Q-spiracy | 1 Comment

Culture Break

We need a little class around the joint, that’s why.

(Hat tip: Scissorhead Purplehead, a truly, classy broad.)

Posted in dogs | 2 Comments

(UPDATED) Special Delivery! Friday Afternoon USPS Round-Up

This machine kills fascists Art by Mike Shine (H/T @cgerrish on the Twitter)

Let’s do a quick round-up on where things stand with the USPS:

The WaPo reports that Rep. Kevin McCarthy might be reading the special delivery California sent him:

“House Minority Leader Kevin McCarthy (R-CA) said that Republicans do not support withholding funding from the U.S. Postal Service and, in a break with Trump, urged voters to cast ballots by mail.”Said McCarthy: “The Postal Service will have the funding that it needs. We will make sure of that. We want to make sure we have an accurate election. I think any Republican that gets their ballot in the mail should vote and make sure their vote is counted.”

The AP reports that NJ just grabbed their junk:

New Jersey Gov. Phil Murphy (D) said it won’t be a “regular election year” because of the coronavirus outbreak and the state will move to a nearly all-mail election this November following the model the state used in its July primary.Murphy said that he will sign an executive order calling for all registered voters to get a ballot beginning October 5 along with a prepaid return envelope.Ballots postmarked by November 3 will be accepted up to a week later.

Rep. Susan Collins is concerned, very concerned:

Sen. Susan Collins (R-ME) said that “efforts by the U.S. Postal Service to cut costs could backfire amid reported mail delays in Maine and across the country and reiterated support to increase funding to the embattled agency.” 

The WaPo (again) tells us that the USPS is sending out distress signals:

“Anticipating an avalanche of absentee ballots, the U.S. Postal Service recently sent detailed letters to 46 states and D.C. warning that it cannot guarantee all ballots cast by mail for the November election will arrive in time to be counted — adding another layer of uncertainty ahead of the high-stakes presidential contest.”

“The letters sketch a grim possibility for the tens of millions of Americans eligible for a mail-in ballot this fall: Even if people follow all of their state’s election rules, the pace of Postal Service delivery may disqualify their votes.”

NBC News reports the most obvious endorsement of the 2020 Goat Rodeo arrived:

“Joe Biden gained the presidential endorsement of the National Association of Letter Carriers on Friday, a union that boasts nearly 300,000 active and retired postal workers.”

The Kenyan Usurper:

USA Today notes an orange colored disturbance in The Farce:

“President Trump has requested a vote-by-mail ballot ahead of Florida’s primary election on Tuesday.”“And the president who has just spent the past few weeks excoriating mail-in voting has less than a week to cast it.”

UPDATE 1: Tiger Beat’s afternoon email thingie:

— ABC: “Mail-in voting rules in key swing states may leave some ballots uncounted, USPS warns,” by Alisa Wiersema, Olivia Rubin and Lucien Bruggeman: “In recent weeks, postal service General Counsel Thomas Marshall has warned election leaders in Michigan and Pennsylvania that election deadlines may be over-estimating the speed with which ballots will move through the mail. If the post office is not afforded a few extra days of leeway to deliver ballots to the election offices, Marshall warned that late-arriving ballots could leave some voters disenfranchised.” … CBS’ Weijia Jiang tweeted Nevada got a warning, too

— “Internal USPS Documents Outline Plans to Hobble Mail Sorting,” by Vice’s Aaron Gordon: “The United States Postal Service proposed removing 20 percent of letter sorting machines it uses around the country before revising the plan weeks later to closer to 15 percent of all machines, meaning 502 will be taken out of service … USPS workers told Motherboard this will slow their ability to sort mail.

“One of the documents also suggests these changes were in the works before Louis DeJoy, a top Trump donor and Republican fundraiser, became postmaster general … The title of the presentation, as well as language used in the notice to union officials, undermines the Postal Service’s narrative that the organization is simply ‘mov[ing] equipment around its network’ to optimize processing.” Vice

MARITSA GEORGIOU (@MaritsaNBCMT) at NBC in Montana: “Just confirmed with the MT Postal Workers Union there are orders for 13 collection boxes to be removed just in Missoula. The direction came down in … mid-July. It’s unclear how many have been removed already. … The Montana Letter Carriers Union just confirmed the removal of 13 in Missoula, 9 in Bozeman, and orders to remove 3 in Lewistown and 30 in Billings.”

— WUSA: “Southeast DC residents go weeks without mail being delivered,” by Kolbie Satterfield

— WAPO: “House GOP leader says Congress will ‘make sure’ postal service is funded,” via Colby Itkowitz: “House Minority Leader Kevin McCarthy (R-Calif.) said Friday that Republicans do not support withholding funding from the U.S. Postal Service and, in a break with Trump, urged voters to cast ballots by mail.” WaPo

SHOT … @davidplouffe: “1) Prime time hearings, now. 2) Subpoenas to Trump WH and camp officials. This is a RICO case 3) Visit local post offices with cameras – show people what is happening. 4) Events with those getting Rx late 5) Involve governors 5) No rest, no vacation. Go to war for our country.”

UPDATE 2: WILLARD!!1! is more Susan Collins than Susan Collins

Sen. Mitt Romney said that politicians “attacking the vote by mail system are threatening global democracy but stopped short of criticizing President Trump, who has been openly against an expected surge of mail-in ballots.”

Said Romney: “That’s more important even than the outcome of the vote. We have got to preserve the principle of democracy or the trend we’re on is going to continue to get worse.”

Posted in 2020 Goat Rodeo, Save the USPS, voting | 10 Comments

Friday Night Tales of Terror Await!

Pee Wee Hermann Goering (image credit: Twitter)

Guys, if you want a creepy, scary story to read around the campfire on a Friday Night, Vanity Fair has you covered:

KEEPING UP WITH THE MILLERS: STEPHEN MILLER AND HIS WIFE, KATIE, FOUND LOVE IN A HATEFUL PLACE

It was a Sunday in mid-February at the Trump International Hotel. The whole gang was there: Mick Mulvaney, Reince Priebus, Sarah Huckabee Sanders, Mike Pence, and yes, the Big Man himself. POTUS had flown in from Daytona Beach just in time for the party, hilariously complaining in his toast about having been inconvenienced by the groom, Stephen Miller: “He is the only one who could have a damn wedding in the middle of Presidents’ Day weekend. I’m sure it didn’t affect anybody here.” The rabbi was an adviser to the ambassador to Israel, and there was an Elvis impersonator. This may not have been every girl’s dream wedding, but for the bride, Katie Waldman, it was perfect. Stephen, 34, and Katie, 28, had fallen in love—as young people do—while figuring out how to separate children from their parents at the border. Now, thanks to Katie, Stephen was officially off the market. It didn’t throw her that half the country was blasting him as a white nationalist due to a recent cache of leaked emails, or that one chunk of his family had disowned him. No, this was the “perfect day,” Katie tweeted, and Stephen Miller, “the perfect man.”

To those in the public who didn’t know much about the bride, the whole thing was amazing. Not only had Stephen found a human woman to marry, but Katie, as the pictures showed, was pretty, with a warm, vivacious smile. Stephen, by contrast, cut a villainous figure. Cartoonishly so, like Mr. Burns from The Simpsons—with an orb-like forehead, funneling into a long, pale face; mistrusting, soulless eyes; and a petulant lower lip. Rarely has a face been such an apt illustration of the person inside.

As the president’s most determined, unwavering adviser on any single topic, he has crafted, with considerable success, the most punishing immigration policies in modern U.S. history—from the Muslim ban to the family-separation policy and every measure in between. He has been the draftsman behind Trump’s darkest rhetoric. Unlike so many other White House officials who resigned or were pushed out, he has not only survived, he’s thrived. Protecting America from immigrants has been his single passion. “This is all I care about,” he told colleagues last year. “I don’t have a family. I don’t have anything else. This is my life.” And now Stephen, who had gone without romance most of his life, had found love.

IT’S STANDING BEHIND YOU! GAH!

Anyway, Scissorhead Purplehead and I have been reading it in snippets, because it is too gruesome to consume whole.

Posted in Stephen Miller, Pee-Wee Goering | 9 Comments

Midday Palate Cleanser

“My bite is worse than my bark, Hoomin!,” Pepper yipped.

Also: look at his terrible fangs of doom! SQUEEE!

Also, part deux: I’m reading Being A Dog: Following the Dog’s Nose Into A World of Smell by Alexandra Horowitz. When you give ol’ Fido a boop on the snoot, you are touching one of the most magnificent sniffers in the world. Horowitz is a researcher at Barnard, and while this could be dry science, it is actually compelling reading. The closest analogy I can say is that dogs sense of smell is greater than our sense of vision by an order of magnitude. Horowitz is not a funny science writer like Mary Roach but this is a worthy read.

Posted in dogs, Palate Cleansers | 11 Comments

The Stupidest Man In The Senate Speaks!

“I’d like to make 3 points…”

🎵 Clowns to the left of me,
Jokers to the right… 🎶

Besieged on all sides, Ron Johnson says his probe ‘would certainly’ help Trump win reelection

“Sen. Ron Johnson this week said his probe of Obama-era intelligence agencies would help President Donald Trump win reelection, igniting fury from Democrats who say it was an explicit admission he’s using his committee to damage Joe Biden’s candidacy for president.

“‘The more that we expose of the corruption of the transition process between Obama and Trump, the more we expose of the corruption within those agencies, I would think it would certainly help Donald Trump win reelection and certainly be pretty good, I would say, evidence about not voting for Vice President Biden,’ Johnson said in a little-noticed Tuesday interview with Minneapolis-based radio hosts Jon Justice and Drew Lee.

“Democrats compared the remark to comments made in 2015 by House GOP Leader Kevin McCarthy, who boasted that the Republican-led Benghazi investigation was successful because it had helped tank Hillary Clinton’s poll numbers. Facing sharp criticism, McCarthy later walked back those comments.”

Honest-to-Dawg, are all the idiots saying the quiet parts out loud to the press? Is this a new fad, or does the American Psychiatric Association need to update the DSM  for Republicanism?

Posted in 2020 Goat Rodeo, People Dumber than Dolphins, RoJo, Wingnuttia | 12 Comments

New USPS Motto

I want that to be true, but I have my doubts:

USPS says Pennsylvania mail ballots may not be delivered on time, and state warns of ‘overwhelming’ risk to voters

“The U.S. Postal Service has warned Pennsylvania that some mail ballots might not be delivered on time because the state’s deadlines are too tight for its ‘delivery standards,’ prompting election officials to ask the state Supreme Court to extend the deadlines to avoid disenfranchising voters.

“The warning came in a July 29 letter from Thomas J. Marshall, general counsel and executive vice president of the Postal Service, to Pennsylvania Secretary of State Kathy Boockvar, whose department oversees elections. That letter was made public late Thursday in a filing her Department of State submitted to the Supreme Court, asking it to order that mail ballots be counted as long as they are received up to three days after the Nov. 3 election date.”

Posted in Save the USPS | 3 Comments

More, Please

Posted in 2020 Goat Rodeo, Lord Damp Nut, The Russian Usurper | 1 Comment

Judge to Trump: ‘Please Enter Proof Of Your Ballot Conspiracy Theory Into Evidence’

Now try getting out of the tree.

Hey guys did you know that Prznint Stupid’s 2020 Goat Rodeo campaign filed a lawsuit in Pennsylvania claiming that June’s primary was a cornucopia of voter fraud, and therefore mailed-in absentee ballots in November should be limited. It’s true!

Naturally, The Fourth Reich has yet to provide any actual proof of this, maybe because it doesn’t exist?

Bloomberg (emphasis mine):

“A federal judge [District Judge J. Nicholas Ranjan] appointed by Donald Trump gave the president’s campaign one day to turn over evidence to support its claims of widespread mail-in voting fraud or admit that it doesn’t exist.”

Trump’s lawyers claimed Pennsylvania’s mail voting plan “provides fraudsters an easy opportunity to engage in ballot harvesting, manipulate or destroy ballots, manufacture duplicitous votes, and sow chaos.”

That deadline would be, oh, TODAY. Let’s keep an eye out for this story.

Related: Axios –

Dodger Stadium will become a voting center in November, with more teams expected to make dormant arenas and stadiums available soon, AP reports.

  • Any registered voter in Los Angeles County will be able to visit the stadium over a five-day period. Parking will be free.

The stadium site is part of a campaign by More Than A Vote, a nonprofit coalition of Black artists and athletes, including LeBron James, Patrick Mahomes and Sloane Stephens.

Every Angeleno knows their own fastest way to Dodger Stadium (you’d be amazed the number of bruhs that will talk at length about their own commuting to the stadium strategies); I suspect this will be very popular. Also: GOOD FOR THE DODGERS!

Posted in 2020 Goat Rodeo, Liars, sports, voting | 9 Comments