Bad Ads, Cont.

Posted on October 14, 2019 by

If you pay the full price, you get the other arm.

(Hat tip: Scissorhead Moeman)

Posted in snark | 4 Comments

Midday Palate Cleanser

Posted on October 14, 2019 by

Me, after reading the news today, as performed in interpretive dance by a bunny.

Posted in Palate Cleansers | 3 Comments

The Adventures of Tariffman Continues!

Posted on October 14, 2019 by

Tariffman!

Hey guys, I missed this tweet on Saturday:

and this one on Sunday:

Wow! Prznint McDeal really is the master negotiator and I guess we all owe him an…, wait. What’s that you say?

China Daily:

“Let’s nail down ‘phase one’ before moving to the next. As based on its past practice, there is always the possibility that Washington may decide to cancel the deal if it thinks that doing so will better serve its interests.”

So “Phase 1” isn’t signed and isn’t a deal and China isn’t buying anything?

And there’s many more, you can search the news for them too/also/aussi.

This is NOT the first time the Florida Man with the Staten-Island Tan has lied through his fake teeth about fake trade deals. I’m old enough to remember last December when he boasted that he’d struck an “incredible” deal with Chinese President Xi Jinping, who promptly pie’ed him:

And remember that time in August, when a breakthrough call with China turned out to NEVER  have happened?

Good times, good times.

So what’s the over-under that Trump is lying again?

(Insert the sound of Las Vegas bookies slamming shut their windows.)

Posted in Comrade Preznint Stupid, The Russian Usurper, ITMFA, Trade Wars | 14 Comments

Somewhere, Vlad is Smiling

Posted on October 14, 2019 by

Putin Rides Again
(credit: The Art of Buddy McCue via Scissorhead B-4)

In northern Syria, there is mayhem and slaughter. In DC, there is bipartisan criticism and “deep concern” over Cadet Bone Spurs latest eff-up on the world stage. Let’s recap what we know:

  • On Sunday: Prznint Stupid ordered the withdrawal RUN AWAY! RUN AWAY! of the remaining  US troops, as NATO allie Turkey attacked the Kurdish forces the U.S. has long counted on to fight Islamic State militants.
  • The Kurds turned to the Russia-backed Syrian government to stave off Turkey’s attack.
  • Hundreds of Islamic State family members escaped from a detention camp managed by the Kurds now battling Turkey.
  • The US has moved a small number of militants to other facilities, but thousands stand to walk free amid the chaos, and Turkey has yet to inhibit them.

Former 4th Reich Defense Secretary James N. Mattis:

“ISIS will resurge. It’s absolutely a given that they will come back.”

Again, international politics is not my wheelhouse, but I found these events to be stark enough that even I can understand the cause and effect and who wins/loses when this happened, and it ain’t us.

Posted in Comrade Preznint Stupid, The Russian Usurper, Pooty-Poot Putin | 4 Comments

Shorter Mnuchin (and it doesn’t get much shorter, IYKWIMAITYD)

Posted on October 14, 2019 by

Living typo Steve Mnuchin and his villainess wife, Craven Moorehead

Shorter Mnuchin (Worst. Bond. Villain. Ever.): “How dare you do what we told you that you could do”

The longer version, courtesy of Tiger Beat on the Potomac (thanks Charlie!) morning email thingie:

— THIS MORNING, Treasury Secretary Steve Mnuchin said there would be a principals meeting on Syria, after which top officials would brief the president. Trump and a bipartisan group of senators have been discussing a sanctions package to punish Turkey for its attack on Kurdish forces.

A quick reminder: Mnuchin and the Treasury (worst ’70s tribute band ever) would have to implement any economic sanctions that Congress approves.

And in related tweets:

Helluva job, Brownie.

Posted in 4th Reich, Human typo Steve Mnuchin | 4 Comments

Assignment Desk: Who Did It?

Posted on October 14, 2019 by

Exciting News From the Trump Administration!

The NYTimes tells us:

“A video depicting a macabre scene of a fake President Trump shooting, stabbing and brutally assaulting members of the news media and his political opponents was shown at a conference for his supporters at his Miami resort last week.”

“The video depicts a scene inside the ‘Church of Fake News’ … Many parishioners’ faces have been replaced with the logos of news media organizations, including PBS, NPR, Politico, The Washington Post and NBC.

“Mr. Trump stops in the middle of the church, pulls a gun out of his suit jacket pocket and begins a graphic rampage.”

“It appears to be an edited scene of a church massacre from the 2014 dark comedy film “Kingsman: The Secret Service.”

We’ve seen this sort of thing before, you know, like when Possum Hollar fanbois gave Comrade Stupid those Twitter GIFs of him wrestling the CNN logo and whatnot. Stupid stuff, that, but this is different. This is a call to action, and note where it happens: inside a church. Like where white supremacist Dylan Roof slaughtered black parishioners; he’s now in prison, I believe waiting for the death penalty.

Also this happened at one of Prznint Stupid’s clubs, where American Priority was trying to influence him with emoluments. Of course, American Priority  is denying all responsibility and accountability for it:

“Content was submitted by third parties and was not associated with or endorsed by the conference in any official capacity … American Priority rejects all political violence and aims to promote a healthy dialogue about the preservation of free speech.”

American Priority: it happened at one of your events, and no one stopped it. Nice try.

The White House Correspondents Association, led/lead by Jonathon Karl issued a statement, between cocktail parties and much tsk-tsking:

The WHCA is horrified by a video reportedly shown over the weekend at a political conference organized by the President’s supporters at the Trump National Doral in Miami. All Americans should condemn this depiction of violence directed toward journalists and the President’s political opponents.

We have previously told the President his rhetoric could incite violence. Now we call on him and everybody associated with this conference to denounce this video and affirm that violence has no place in our society.

You have a news story there, Karl. Get on it. You have the means to find out not just how it was shown (note the passive voice construction in the statement) but WHO actually made it and put it in the sequence to show. Things like this don’t just happen organically.

Maybe it’s time for some journalism. Just a thought.

(If you wanna see it, here it is.)

UPDATE 1:

@PressSec: “Re: the video played over the weekend: The @POTUS @realDonaldTrump has not yet seen the video, he will see it shortly, but based upon everything he has heard, he strongly condemns this video.”

Of course. Comrade Stupid never met it, either. (Expect pictures of his rictus grin and a thumbs-up (yours) picture of him standing next to the video…)

Posted in Comrade Preznint Stupid, The Russian Usurper, Death of the Media, Fake News!!1! | 11 Comments

Hey Kids, What’s It Time For? IMPEACHMENT!!1!

Posted on October 14, 2019 by

Politico’s email thingie gives us a handy cut-out-and-keep guide to the big impeachment events this week. I’m reformatting the info for easier reading:

THIS IS A BIG WEEK in Washington for impeachment. Committees will:

    1. hear private testimony from former Trump Russia hand Fiona Hill (Hill is on the Hill already) and
    2. U.S. ambassador to the E.U. Gordon Sondland (Thursday). [‘Grain adds: Gordon Sondland contributed $1 million to Prznint Stupid’s inauguration. Just sayin’ that Tiger Beat might have wanted to mention that, but oddly did not. ]

Documents are due from:

  1. Tuesday:
    • VP Mike Pence
    • the Pentagon
    • OMB
    • Rudy Giuliani
  2. Wednesday:
    • Lev Parnas and Igor Fruman (they’re in jail, so good luck)
  3. Friday:
    • Rick Perry
    • the White House

Note: This list — curated by Andrew Desiderio — represents the schedule as of now. All of it is subject to change.

Posted in ITMFA, snark | 2 Comments

Bedside Reading, Cont.

Posted on October 13, 2019 by

Something about the daughter reminds me of Ensign Kenny on the R.U. Serious, being chased by a killbot, but it also has an echo of the Goofus and Gallant comics from the dentist office of my yute.

(Hat tip: Scissorhead Moeman)

Posted in Bedside Reading | 4 Comments

Thank You to Crooks and Liars

Posted on October 13, 2019 by

I thought that I should share with you my week on Crooks and Liars and give one more shout-out to all the bloggers that made it possible. I honestly think we are in a golden age of blogging (maybe there are not as many bloggers, but there are so many people doing outstanding work).

I also want to commend Crooks and Liars. They have consistently promoted small blogs since the day that they started, and you know that they don’t have to. They have been great friends to this blog since the original Mike started linking to the ol’ Thunderbolt Grease-slapper way back in 2006.

I tried something new (for me, anyway) this week too: I started off the posts with a video that sort of sums up that days posting. Mostly music, but not always. Let me know what you think of it. The C&L readers seemed to like it—sometimes commenting more on the music than on the stories, go figure!

Monday:

Happy Monday, Crooks & Liars! As I write this (on Sunday), I realized that it is now a year since Brett Kavanaugh was confirmed to the Supreme Court, and we wonder if Susan Collins is still very concerned. Let’s jump into our morning links!

Driftglass revives Sunday Morning Comin’ Down.

Shower Cap reviews the past week as only he can.

We Hunted The Mammoth notes that Men’s Rights Activists find activism too hard.

The Psy of Life urges us to become activists. It’s not hard, I swear!

Bonus Track: Liberal Memes: Future Historians Explain the Second Civil War.

Tuesday:

I noticed that Monday is the third anniversary of the 2016 Access Hollywood P***ygrabbing tape release, 2001 Dubya’s Afghan Invasion, and in 1996 it was the first broadcast day of Fox News Channel. So a momentous day for Prznint Stupid to abandon the Kurds. I know none of these things are related, but you know, wow! Sometimes one thing leads to another!

Hunter At Random says that all it took for Cadet Bone Spurs to throw our allies under the bus was just a phone call from a dictator. He’s right, of course.

Gin and Tacos notes that deviancy is now normalized.

Sparkonit gives us the fascinating history of the Doomsday Clock.

Bonus Track: Hysterical Raisins illustrates Sen. Ron Johnson’s remarkable pas-de-dork on Meet the Press.

Wednesday:

If Prznint Stupid thought that wagging the dog was going to get him out of the impeachment dog house, he should think again. To our observant friends we hope you have a peaceful and meditative Yamim Nora’im.

Infidel753 writes about the betrayal of the Kurds.

The Way of Improvement Leads Home gives us a quick history lesson from the Impeachment of Andrew Johnson.

Stinque presents “The Bride of Putin!”

Bonus Track: Because we’re all about the music, Open Culture illustrates The Talking Heads music catalog with pulp fiction from the ’40s and ’50s. It strangely works!

Thursday:

Good morning, Crooks and Liars. It looks like we’ve reached the point in the Impeachment investigation that the White House has declared war on Congress. Of course, The Russian Usurper is bringing in the big guns, so what are we to do? It’s time for The Chicago Way, baby!

The Rude Pundit vivisects the White House letter. (NSFW: language, as expected from The Rude One)

What Digby said, yes, it is a Constitutional Crisis now.

No More Mister Nice Guy reminds us that Republicans don’t think that Democrats are citizens.

Bonus Track: Geeks are Sexy goes to Superman’s Fortress of Solitude.

Friday:

Good morning, Crooks and Liars. Today we look at the how and why of the strategic, military decisions Cadet Bone Spurs makes. Shorter: we knew he was a snake before Putin elected him.

Green Eagle says that there is no end to Prznint Stupid’s malignancy.

Just Above Sunset goes long on Trump shoe-selling the Kurds.

Zandar Versus The Stupid looks at the impeachment polling and then reminds us: the hearings have hardly even begun.

Bonus Track: Big Bad Bald Bastard mashes up Edgar Allan Poe and Lou Reed. It works.

Saturday:

Well, Crooks and Liars, if your Impeachment Bingo card included “Holy Crap, what next?” You should go get yourself a prize. I mean seriously, we have Prznint Stupid stabbing allies in the back, the DOJ running errands for his teevee lawyer, who (btw) was out partying with soon-to-be indicted election fraudsters at the Trump Hotel before they were to flee the country with a midnight ticket going anywhere (to paraphrase Journey). What’s next? Who knows! It’s a mad world.

Election Law Blog tells us a lot about the arrest of Rudy Giuliani’s associates. There’s so much more there than meets the eye!

Politics Plus is warning us that Facebook is already at it again, and 2020 makes 2016 look like a warm-up act.

Occasional Planet says the Grover Norquist won, game, set, and match.

Jobs Anger gives us hope.

Bonus Track: Because we’re all about the music, Open Culture discusses Jefferson Airplane and specifically the history of ‘White Rabbit’ with Grace Slick.

Sunday:

What a week! As Gawd is my Waitress this week we’ve covered more scandals than I can keep track of, but thanks to the stellar work of 28 or so top-notch bloggers, we managed to make (some?) sense of it all. Thank you for letting me be part of your mornings, and I hope to visit with you again soon!

Brains and Eggs recaps the Equality Townhall.

Badtux the Snarky Penguin addresses the notion that no one gets fired for being pregnant.

The Lester and Charlie Review looks at the appalling sex trafficking scandal brewing in Arizona.

The Outline goes long into the latest sexist conspiracy theory involving Elizabeth Warren.

Bonus Track: Miss Cellania presents the Animated Guide To Impeachment.

I know posting gets a little light around here when I have a week hosting the round-up there, and I want to thank all of you Scissorheads for letting me get away with moidure here! Some of you probably found yourselves in the links (and more of you should be linked!).

I’ll be hosting again in November, so please remember to blow your own horns! I don’t always get to visit everyone’s blog, but I promise to read any tips you send me.

Posted in blog whoring, blogging | 5 Comments

Sunday Palate Cleanser

Posted on October 13, 2019 by

Hipster cats are the best cats.

Posted in cats, Palate Cleansers | 4 Comments