Because We Love A Good Clarification (Jeff Van Drew)

New Jersey congressman’s pledge of ‘undying support’ for Trump hangs over close House race

In December, Rep. Jeff Van Drew shocked his colleagues in the Democratic Party when he announced he would become a Republican, citing his discomfort with impeaching President Donald Trump. Van Drew’s detractors point to a more craven political calculation: that he might not have been able to survive his Democratic primary.
The decision culminated in an Oval Office photo-op, where Van Drew pledged his “undying support” to the President. Camera shutters clicked as the two men vigorously shook hands. Eleven months later, those images are at the center of one of the hottest congressional races in the country, with Van Drew seeking reelection for the first time — and, also for the first time, running as a Republican.

It was pretty craven. Go on.

During CNN’s interview this week, we asked Van Drew if he regretted those words that have followed him around these months and might now cost him reelection.

“I think the words didn’t explain as well what I exactly felt,” Van Drew conceded. “It’s not undying support that, whatever you say I’m going to do, or undying support, I agree with whatever you say. It was undying support for the presidency, for the idea of the greatness of America, for a friendship, but not necessarily that I’m going to agree with everything.”

Totally sounds sincere, just like when Noot cheated on wife #2 with mistress #2 (soon to become wife #3) during Clinton’s impeachment over a blow job, because he loved the country so damn much.

Posted in 2020 Goat Rodeo, snark | 5 Comments

The Harvest, Day 28

Image | Posted on by | 2 Comments

Midday Palate Cleanser

“The rent is good, but the view is terrible.”

Posted in Palate Cleansers | 2 Comments

Pop Quiz!

Yes, you too can have your fireplace smell like fast food, and bet me that the Whitey House is all over this.

So for 1/17 of a point counting towards your midterm grade, tell us about other products that the 4th Reich is burning this season to cover-up the stench of Republican fascism, and why that fragrance will work.

#2 Lead pencils in the bluebook.

Posted in Pop Culture, Pop Quiz!, Things that will kill us all | 11 Comments

Worst. Telethon. Ever

Eat-up, sodomites

I cannot stop laughing:


Posted in Senatorette Miss Lindsey Graham | 3 Comments

Ah, Texas!

Texas Voters Who Contract COVID Before Election Day Will Need A Doctor’s Note To Vote Absentee

Gotta give our National Lab for Bad Policy bonus points for coming up with a new way to make voting in a pandemic even harder:

In Texas, any registered voter with a qualifying disability can request an absentee ballot simply by checking a box on a form up until 11 days before the election — this year, that deadline was Oct. 23. But if voters contract the coronavirus or become otherwise medically unable to vote after that date, they can’t self-certify that they need an absentee ballot. Instead, they need a doctor’s note with specific language stating they have “a sickness or physical condition” that prevents them from voting in person.

It’s not just the timing, of course, but you would have to make an appointment with your doctor and pay for a visit, so… isn’t that a poll tax?

Posted in 2020 Goat Rodeo, Crazeee States, Texas, America's Lab for Bad Policy, voting | 6 Comments

Giggling Gidley Giggles

“I got this to say about that. Can you repeat the question?”

Prznint Stupid’s 2020 Goat Rodeo Campaign spokes goblin, Hogan Gidley (stolen from the Huckabees via some ungodly evil majicks, no doubt) wants us all to stop worrying about catching the Trump-Virus because, well, listen for yourselves:

Gidley is not at all concerned about an Infection of Pences mingling with the public, because, you know, the Walking Termite Buffett has the best medical care in the world.

Literally they have no care about Wee the Peeple. Maybe he read that Prznint Stupid cured the Trump-Virus?

Posted in Contact Tracing, Distancing, Giggling Gidley, masks, Mike Pence, the Walking Termite Buffet, Pandemics | 1 Comment

Prznint Stupid Declares Victory Over Trump-Virus.

(H/T Scissorhead Dennis Cole)

Hey guys, did you know that Prznint Stupid ended the Trump-Virus? It’s True!

“The White House science office listed ‘ending the COVID-19 pandemic’ as the top accomplishment of President Trump’s first term, even as the U.S. has set records for new daily infections and numerous hospitals across the country are stretched to their breaking points.”

The article helpfully fact checks this claim, and you might be surprised to learn, finds it, um, unbelievable:

As of Tuesday, more than 226,000 people in the U.S. have died from COVID-19. The seven-day average of new cases is nearly 70,000, a record number that is only expected to get worse. Hospitalizations and deaths are also climbing steadily upward. According to the COVID Tracking Project, there are more than 42,000 people hospitalized with COVID-19, up from about 30,000 just a month ago.

Yeah, but if you disregard the Infection of Pences

The office of Vice President Pence is dealing with a COVID-19 outbreak a week before the election, and White House chief of staff Mark Meadows is under fire for saying the country is not going to control the virus.

Listen to the Experts:

Public health experts say that as the fall and winter progress, the situation is going to get much worse. Former Food and Drug Administration chief Scott Gottlieb said on CNBC Monday that the U.S. was at a “tipping point” of exponential spread in much of the country.

There is no amount of chaos that stops the bodies of your family, friends, and neighbors from stacking up in mass graves. At some point, even Possum Hollar might notice that some people are missing…

… or maybe not.


Posted in Liars, Lord Damp Nut, The Russian Usurper, Pandemics | 10 Comments

Report: ‘Election Tampering By Mail Totally OK’ Says Tampering Co-Conspirators

We’re guessing that Constitutional “originalist” Justice Coathanger gives this story a thumbs-up:

“Delivery delays during an election can’t be unlawful, because the Constitution doesn’t guarantee states any particular level of service when it comes to mail-in ballots, the U.S. Postal Service told a federal judge.”

Postmaster General Louis DeJoy and President Donald Trump are seeking dismissal of a lawsuit brought by New York and other states that claim disruptive changes at the USPS over the summer are violating the Elections Clause of the Constitution by putting election mail at risk.

The Justice Department argued in a court filing Tuesday in Washington that the clause can’t restrict government agencies from carrying out operational changes or other activity that “may have an incidental impact” on voting.

I’m guess that conspiring before the fact to commit mail fraud and election fraud might get in the way of that novel criminal theory, but what do I know?


Postal Service awards $5 million contract to Postmaster DeJoy’s former company, XPO

The article carefully notes that the Postmaster Grifter, er, General DeJoy still owns an interest in XPO, so you know, nothing to see here.

Posted in 2020 Goat Rodeo, Grifters Gotta Grift, Lord Damp Nut, The Russian Usurper, Postmaster General Louis DeJoy, Save the USPS | 4 Comments

Great Signs, Cont.

H/T Secret Scissorhead @NamelessCynic on the tweeter

Posted in Distancing, Don't Re-Open, Great Signs, Pandemics | 5 Comments