Great Signs, Cont.

H/T @NamlessCynic

OK, but what if you are not Ryan Gosling?

Posted in Great Signs | 1 Comment

Speaking of Stupid Summabitches…

Breaking CNN!

this quote from Captain Obvious, er, Brian Stelter:

“I personally believe it wasn’t a hot mic. [Biden] knew what he was doing [when Biden called Peter Doocy a stupid summabitch], he knew he was on,” CNN’s Brian Stelter suggested on Tuesday “And then he had the manners to call later and try to mend fences. But it is still interesting to get inside the mind of the president.”

Posted in CNN, Our Failed Political Press, People Dumber than Dolphins | 2 Comments

Some Fries With Your Stupid, Big Liars?

Guys, these dupes who thought that they could —do what, exactly?— fool the gubmint into believing Hair Füror won have been invited too ‘splain themselves:

[W]ASHINGTON (AP) — The House committee investigating the U.S. Capitol insurrection subpoenaed more than a dozen individuals Friday who it says falsely tried to declare Donald Trump the winner of the 2020 election in seven swing states…

…The nine-member panel said it has obtained information that groups of individuals met on Dec. 14, 2020 — more than a month after Election Day — in the seven states. The individuals, according to the congressional investigation, then submitted fake slates of Electoral College votes for Trump. Then “alternate electors” from those seven states sent those certificates to Congress, where several of Trump’s advisers used them to justify delaying or blocking the certification of the election during the joint session of Congress on Jan. 6, 2021.

I hope that a few of them realize that cutting deals early means less time spent in federal housing. Right about now, twice-impeached LOSER ex-prznint Stupid’s Stupidest Lawyer ™ Rudy’s hair is leaking.

Posted in Hair Führer Donald Trump, The Big Lie, The Coup Klux Klan (Republicans), The Stupid Coup, Wrong-Again Rudy | 4 Comments

Midday Palate Cleanser

Fake poop helps evicted owls settle into new neighborhood

Wait till NextDoor hears about this.

Posted in Birds Are Jerks, Palate Cleansers | 1 Comment

Fox News Hot Issue of the Day

In case you thought that Tennessee cancel culturing Maus was gonna fire-up Fox, it seems that they can read German for some unknowable reason:

 

 

Posted in Fox News, Our Failed Political Press, People Dumber than Dolphins, Pop Culture | 8 Comments

Arizona Tries To Turn Back Time

The terrible sand people of the terrible sand kingdom of Arizonastan.

Meanwhile, in the Terrible Sand Kingdom of Arizonastan, some decrepit, sun-baked winger is trying to party like it is 1958 (emphasis mine):

An arch conservative member of Arizona’s state House of Representatives has proposed a mammoth overhaul of the state’s voting procedures that would allow legislators to overturn the results of a primary or general election after months of unfounded allegations and partisan audits.

The bill, introduced by state Rep. John Fillmore (R), would substantially change the way Arizonans vote by eliminating most early and absentee voting and requiring people to vote in their home precincts, rather than at vote centers set up around the state.

Most dramatically, Fillmore’s bill would require the legislature to hold a special session after an election to review election processes and results, and to “accept or reject the election results.”

And here’s the operative quote:

“I don’t care what the press says. I don’t trust ABC, CBS, NBC or Fox or anybody out there. Everybody’s lying to me and I feel like I have a couple hundred ex-wives hanging around me,” Fillmore said. “This is not a President Biden thing. This is not a the other red-headed guy thing.”

“We should have voting in my opinion in person, one day, on paper, with no electronic means and hand counting that day. We need to get back to 1958-style voting,” he added.

And all the dogs in the Terrible Sand Kingdom of Arizonastan howled at the same moment.

Posted in Arizonastan, Crazeee States, racism, Vote Suppression, voting, White Punks on Dope | 7 Comments

Here Comes The Judge

The Race for the Supreme Court!

Amply be-chinned Mitch McConnell —who stole one Supreme Court seat, crammed in an obviously drunk, unqualified and corrupt candidate with anger management issues, and then hastily filled a third while votes were being cast in the 2020 Goat Rode— said that President Handsome Joe Biden “must not outsource this important decision to the radical left.”

(We assure The Turtle of Doom that there is no Federalist Society on the Left.)

RNC Chairwoman Ronna “Definitely Not Willard’s Neice, No Way” McDaniel:

The incredible Jenn Psaki responds:

The racists of course also were ready with their Affirmative Action dogwhistles, which we will not include here. Let’s just say that there were plenty of ’em.

UPDATE 1 – The Editorial Board has a pretty great interview: “The confirmation process will show whether Biden understands the Black solidarity and power that put him in the White House”

Posted in Affirmative Action, Black Lives Matter, Critical Race Theory, racism, The Coup Klux Klan (Republicans), The New Confederacy, White Punks on Dope | 4 Comments

NYC Issues Evergreen Statement

I’m With Stupid

Quote of the Day:

“We encourage any New Yorker who came into contact with Sarah Palin to get tested.

No d’uh.

Posted in Contact Tracing, Mooselini, Pandemics, People Dumber than Dolphins, Testing, Vaccine | 5 Comments

Bad Signs, Cont.

EWWWW!

Posted in Bad Signs | 4 Comments

News That Will Drive You to Drink

Happy Hour News

RollingStone says Maus is one of the 50 best graphic novels of all time. Click for their story.

Guys, a school in Tennessee banned Maus, which is a graphic novel of the Holocaust:

Reading “Maus” was formative for me. But decades later, other public school students in Tennessee will be denied that same experience. Despite it being part of a state-approved eighth grade curriculum, the members of the school board in McMinn County, outside of Chattanooga, banned “Maus” in a unanimous vote earlier this month.

The vote finally received media attention Wednesday, just hours before the start of Holocaust Remembrance Day…

…Throughout the meeting, several members of the McMinn County Board of Education insisted they did not object to their students learning about the Holocaust — but they all still voted to ban “Maus,” which raises questions about how committed they are to ensuring their students learn the unsantized, unredacted truth. Others in the room would only support using a redacted version of the book, and one high school teacher in the district told the board members, “This is not a book I would teach my students.”

The fascists are already here, they are indoctrinating the Hitlerjurgen, and for now they are succeeding in banning books and memory-holing the Holocaust.

No words. I have none.

Posted in Book Banning, Fascism, Hair Führer Donald Trump, snark, Theocrats | 12 Comments