Squirrel!

Posted on September 18, 2018 by

Carter Page takes a cue from Nancy Reagan

Tiger Beat on the Potomac (thanks Charlie!):

“President Donald Trump moved on Monday to immediately release a tranche of former FBI Director James Comey’s text messages and declassify 20 pages of a surveillance application that targeted former campaign adviser Carter Page, Trump’s latest offensive against a Russia investigation that has ensnared associates and has consumed his attention for much of his presidency. …

“Trump demanded that the FBI produce 20 pages of the surveillance application — which Republicans on Capitol Hill have suggested would help show anti-Trump bias at the highest levels of the FBI. Trump also called for the release of senior Justice Department official Bruce Ohr’s notes related to the Russia probe.”

As we know, weirdo blabbermouth Carter Page is what really triggered off the entire Little Kremlin-on-the-Potomac investigation, and as things are not going so well in installing (allegedly)  sex fiend Brett Kavanaugh to the SCOTUS, The Russian Usurper is creating a new distraction for his base and probably at the urging of Fox News.

But if you want the statement that makes Eiron, the Goddess of Irony, giggle and lift a cheek, we got it for you:

White House press secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders announced Trump’s decision in a written statement, saying the president had directed the Office of the Director of National Intelligence and the Justice Department to declassify the documents “at the request of a number of committees of Congress, and for reasons of transparency.”

Uh-huh. Transparency.

Anyway, like Pavlov’s dog, the press will be completely distracted. They fall for this stunt every time.

Posted in Little-Kremlin-on-the-Potomac, Sex fiends, Weirdo Blabbermouth Carter Page | Leave a comment

Local BS-er BSs Us

Posted on September 18, 2018 by

Shouty Larry Kudlow shouts

“People are blaming the president” for the escalating trade dispute, Larry Kudlow—Comrade Stupid’s National Economic Council Director—said to the Economic Club of New York.

“I say, do not blame Trump for this”—[the “this” being the Easy-to-Win trade war Comrade Trump started when he began slapping import taxes on Chinese goods, which caused the last poor bastard who had Kudlow’s job to bail outta the White House.]

“He inherited this trading mess. He’s trying to fix it. He is a reformer. It is not an easy task.”

Comrade Trump: the Reformer. Does he get a cape to go with that Marvel title?

Posted in Comrade Preznint Stupid, The Russian Usurper, Larry Kudlow, The Baghdad Bob of Economics, Trade Wars | 2 Comments

Comrade Trump Loves It When A Plan Comes Together

Posted on September 18, 2018 by

Our Stable Genius

Tariffed. He really wrote Tarriffed.

But that aside, what about the crap that no one has felt the effects of any cost increases. We reported some time ago about the largest American nail company, located in Possum Hollar,  is laying off workers and projecting that they would be out of bidness soon. And we might remind Comrade Stupid that the American success story he trumpeted (see what I did there), Harley Davidson, is moving offshore to make motorcycles for the European market; why he even tweeted his displeasure:

And perhaps we should mention the alternative fact that his administration gave soybean farmers a $12B Amero bailout for destroying their markets. And we note that once a country loses a market it is lost forever. The international market turned on a dime to Brazil.

We mention all this (and bury the lede) because Comrade Stupid announced that he will tax another $200 billion in Chinese imports, or about half of all Chinese goods in the US. So we got that working for us, too.

 

 

Posted in 4th Reich, Comrade Preznint Stupid, The Russian Usurper | 3 Comments

Bork! Bork!

Posted on September 18, 2018 by

Yesterday both Christine Blasey Ford and Brett Kavanaugh agreed to testify before the Senate Judiciary Committee under oath sometime next week. And if Ford is credible, then there is a possibility that Kavanaugh gets bork’ed.

Here’s the likely scenario: Ford will describe what happened in detail, and Kavanaugh will counter something like the legally-approved, “I don’t recall that happening” or the better, “to the best of my ability I do not recall that happening,” which are weasel words and everyone will know that it totally happened.

(Being raised by two lawyers, I can assure you that fights with my siblings almost always included that phrase, with one or both parents giving the perp the stink eye.)

So we get to watch the spectacle of Republican Senators saying that they believe him and not her. And some of those Senators are up for re-election in the 2018 Pie Fight. Should be interesting, indeed.

Posted in 2018 Pie Fight, Brett Kavanaugh, supreme court | 4 Comments

Fashion Week Continues!

Posted on September 17, 2018 by

Scissorhead Bluegal sends us the vital Fashion Update that is fresh as tomorrow from Gucci today:

Click the images for more from the Gucci collection! Or if you want to shop this look, click here!

Posted in Fashion Week | 13 Comments

News That Will Drive You To Drink

Posted on September 17, 2018 by

Firefighter/Prophet Mark Taylor reveals that Grandpa Walnuts was executed by a sekrit military tribunal! And they are comin’ for Hillary and the Kenyan Usurper NEXT!

WAKE UP SHEEPLE!!1! IT ALL MAKES SENSE NOW!!11!

Posted in Conspiracy Theorists, Mark Taylor, Theocrats | 7 Comments

Midday Palate Cleanser

Posted on September 17, 2018 by

Kittens take no prisoners!

Posted in cats, Palate Cleansers | 7 Comments

Possum Hollar: The Blue Wave Is Fake News!!1!

Posted on September 17, 2018 by

Tucker Tries Truth in Advertising!

Eiron is really doing stellar work:

A source who has seen recent polling, conducted by the Republican National Committee, told me the data show that a majority of Trump voters don’t believe the mountain of evidence that Democrats will win back the House in November.

57% of strong Trump supporters believe it’s unlikely Democrats win the House, according to the source, who wasn’t authorized to share findings from the RNC poll with the media. (The survey of 800 registered voters — 480 via landline calls and 320 via cellphone calls — was conducted from Aug. 29 to Sept. 2 and has a margin of error of 3.5%.)

By contrast, election forecaster Nate Silver’s FiveThirtyEight website gives Democrats an 83.1% chance of winning control over the House.

wait for it…

Why this matters: A month ago, we reported in “Sneak Peek” that Republican strategists were detecting something interesting — and from their POV, concerning — in focus groups of Trump voters. These voters — who have been listening to the president predicting a “red wave” in November — didn’t believe polls showing Democrats would win the House.

They think it is FAKE NEWS!!1! Wonder how they got that idea? Part of this is pure hubris: Because Possum Hollar only gets their news from one place, they believe the party line that they are in the majority and that a thousand years of Conservative Rule is upon us. Remember Karl Rove sending Megyn Kelly to check on the dweebs in the back room because he couldn’t believe that Mittens was losing? Same story.

Anyway, besides biting the mango-hued shitgibbon on the ass, it has Republicans freaking out. Swan says GOP strategists are seriously worried that voters’ rejection of poll results and media reports will depress turnout and help Democrats.

 

Posted in 2018 Pie Fight, Fake News!!1! | 5 Comments

Time Magazine Sold

Posted on September 17, 2018 by

“No.”

My real-life friend Matt told me once that when you have three of anything, it counts as a collection. So with that definition in mind, we see west-coast, technology billionaires collecting old paper media:

  • Jeff Bezos bought The Washington Post.
  • Laurene Powell Jobs’ Emerson Collective bought a majority stake in The Atlantic.
  • Dr. Patrick Soon-Shiong, a biotech billionaire who is considered the richest man in L.A., bought the L.A. Times.

And we add to the collection that Marc Benioff (CEO of Salesforce.com) has just bought Time Magazine for $190 Ameros $190M* Ameros. In cash. (Hint to Marc: you could have bought a copy at the newsstand for less.)

Reliable Sources email thingie:

Well, [Benioff] calls the mag a “treasure trove of our history and culture.” In an emailto CNN’s Laurie Segall, he said “the power of Time has always been in its unique story telling of the people and issues that affect us all and connect us all.”

He added: “Lynne and I will take on no operational responsibility for Time, and look only to be the stewards of this historic and iconic brand.”

Despite those reassurances, there will surely be — and should be! — scrutiny about a Silicon Valley CEO taking over Time, a magazine that frequently covers subjects like tech’s impact on society. Salesforce has been mentioned more than 200 times by the mag, per my quick search of Time.com…

Brian Stelter posted the announcement from Time’s editor-in-chief Edward Felsenthal, which gives the usual rah-rah next chapter in our fabled history…

I have no idea what the end game is here for Benioff and the other billionaires, except maybe vanity or genuine altruism. I wonder if this is going to continue to be a trend.

* Thanks for the eagle eye, Jim!

Posted in Death of the Media | 2 Comments

UPDATED: The Game is Afoot!

Posted on September 17, 2018 by

Kiss me, you fool!

Axios:

“Debra Katz, the attorney for Christine Blasey Ford, who has accused Supreme Court nominee Brett Kavanaugh of sexual assault in the 1980s, told NBC’s “Today” that Ford believes the incident was “attempted rape” and is willing to testify publicly before the Senate Judiciary Committee.

“She’s a credible person. These are serious allegations. And they should be addressed.”

“Big picture: As Axios’ Jonathan Swan and Mike Allen reported this morning, some involved in Kavanaugh’s confirmation process were set to call on Ford to testify publicly this week, betting that she will decline.”

“Come, Watson, Come! The game is afoot!,” as Sherlock Holmes says.

Bob Corker, Jeff Flake, and Lisa Murkowski have publicly said that they want to delay to consider the allegations. The Senate Judiciary Committee is scheduled to vote  on Kavanaugh on Thursday to move his nomination to the full Senate for a vote.

This is the key: Flake is a member of the Judiciary Committee. If Flake joins his 10 Democratic colleagues on the Senate Judiciary Committee to vote against moving the nomination forward, then amply be-chinned Mitch McConnell has to either come up with some trickery or fold.

UPDATE 1: Boom

On Monday, Republican Sen. Susan Collins — who is not on the Senate Judiciary Committee but is considered a key swing vote on the nomination — tweeted that “Professor Ford and Judge Kavanaugh should both testify under oath before the Judicial Committee.”

Posted in Brett Kavanaugh, supreme court | 6 Comments