New Year’s Resolution FAIL

SarahPalinShooting

OK, one of my resolutions was to keep posts about Mooselini to a minimum, and I already had one yesterday and it looks like this is another:

Sarah Palin ‘rambles incoherently’ in Iowa after teleprompter freezes… a day after she declared an interest in 2016 run

And this, my friends is from the very conservative Fox-like UK Daily Mail. But what I love about this headline more than anything else is that the teleprompters have come back to bite Wingnuttia in the ass.

Word Salad Served Literally Fresh

I debated putting up another Sarah Palin because I hate rewarding grifters. But when I listened to Mooselini’s free-verse Poetry Slam I stopped fighting it.

Sunday Brunch: Claim Chowder With Word Salad

SarahPalinShooting

I should have seen this one coming: Alaska’s part-time governor and full-time grifter Sarah Palin responds to criticism of posting Trig, the likable Palin® standing on the back of—and I’m not making this up—Jill Hadassah, the family dog.

PETA wrote:

It’s odd that anyone—let alone a mother—would find it appropriate to post such a thing, with no apparent sympathy for the dog in the photo. Then again, PETA, along with everyone else, is used to the hard-hearted, seeming obliviousness of this bizarrely callous woman, who actually thought it appropriate to be filmed while turkeys were being slaughtered right behind her in full view of the camera.

…And so Mooselini felt compelled to reply, and lay the blame squarly at the feet of: The Kenyan Usurper for some reason:

Dear PETA,
Chill. At least Trig didn’t eat the dog.

Or maybe it’s Ellen DeGeneres’s fault:

Hey, by the way, remember your “Woman of the Year”, Ellen DeGeneres? Did you get all wee-wee’d up when she posted this sweet picture? http://conservatives4palin.com/2015/01/peta-woman-year-posts-photo-child-standing-dog.html Hypocritical, much?

Naw, it’s the Kenyan’s fault:

Did you go as crazy when your heroic Man-of-Your-Lifetime, Barack Obama, revealed he actually enjoyed eating dead dog meat?

OK, I’m getting dizzy with her blaming everyone. The point still remains that instead of doing something a real mom would do, like stopping Trig, or helping him reach the counter, Mooselini photographed it, and posted it on her Book of Faces. Yesterday some of her fans were appalled, what do they say today?

Keith Christenson Wow , I just read you post and some responses. The liberal left comments are laced with hatred toward you. I didnt realize just how vile they are to you and your family! I support you Sarah Palin. You’re spot on!

Melinda Pierce Garcia Think your amazing. I’m sure the dog was in heaven and loves your children playfulness. Stay you! Stay strong

Randy Karnes Give ‘em hell, Sarah! And PLEASE run for President!!!!!

Donald Rhodes The only way you could make your loyal followers happier is to say that you will run for president.

You see, she came back swinging at her big, liberal detractors (PETA in this case). Y’all Qaeda loves to be the little victim fighting against the monolithic hippy under the bed. She (for some reason) also attacked the Kenyan, and for good measure attacked a godless lesbian, so it was all red meat for the mouthbreathers.

I think it is safe to say that this was move was planned from the Mooselini Outrage Factory. And her 15 minutes rolls-on.

UPDATE 1: PETA replies:

PETA simply believes that people shouldn’t step on dogs, and judging by the reaction that we’ve seen to Sarah Palin’s Instagram photo, we’re far from alone in that belief. Palin’s Facebook response shows us that she knows PETA about as well as she knows geography. Yes, we campaign against the Iditarod because when the dogs aren’t being driven—sometimes to death—most live chained or inside cages for their entire lives. And we’re a vegan organization, so we sit on pleather couches, wear stylish vegan kicks, and consider fish friends, not food. (Also, by the way, we just sent a case of vegan caviar to Vladimir Putin—and no, you can’t see his house from yours, Ms. Palin.) We have no reason to believe that the Palin companion animals aren’t ordinarily pampered, and we wish the entire family a peaceful and humane 2015.

The 3-Martini Stupid

Mooselini Bobblehead Doll

It’s from Alaska’s part-time governor and full-time grifter Sarah Palin of course. She posted on her powerful facebook page a quick story about how you can turn every block into a stepping stone, and then posted pictures of Trigg the Likable Palin® using the family dog as a step stool to reach the counter.

What is clear is that Mooselini realized what was happening and took pictures instead of stopping the kid from possibly injuring the dog.

And of course the Narcissis Borealis is now getting all the media attention that she craves, but even many of her Facebook friends are appalled.

Word Salad, Tossed Fresh Daily

mooselini blingee

Alaska’s part-time governor and full-time grifter Sarah Palin has assembled from spare words she found around the turkey slaughter pen, another, um, essay?

Anyway, it seems that The Kenyan Usurper has insulted women by saying women should have better pay and that parents should have access to better daycare to keep their careers on track:

Sometimes, someone, usually mom, leaves the workplace to stay home with the kids, which then leaves her earning a lower wage for the rest of her life as a result. And that’s not a choice we want Americans to make.

So you can see how he was declaring a blood libel on Mooselini, who has 4 kids (or 5 kids, depending on who is counting) herself and 2 grandchildren (or 3 grandchildren, again depending on who is counting)!

And so now, without further ado, we bring her thesis statement:

Well that just takes the cake. Sure, Obama’s latest shot across the bow in his own “War on Women” is easily deflected by women like my friends and me testifying to the most precious, irreplaceable seasons of our lives when we were BLESSED to be “stay-at-home moms” (though I don’t remember any of us actually “staying home” in those busiest times of our children’s lives), but Friday’s jab deserves something right back nonetheless. On behalf of former and current stay-at-homers, including my girlfriends who still get together to bake cookies for the bake sale (see photos in my kitchen above), and volunteer to coach kids ball teams, and man the church’s food bank, and entertain latchkey kids, and all that other obnoxiously “housewifey” stuff, the President needs to be spanked.

I’d like to buy a vowel, please. The rest of the post is just as well-written and cogent.

McCain-celebration

And once again, we need to thank Grandpa Walnuts for bringing this moron to the nation’s attention and suggesting that she should be within one melanoma of the nuclear launch codes.

(Sarah Palin’s MyFace Place)

Well, Mooselini’s Not A Scientist, Fer Sure

Mooselini whatevs

“The global warming hysteria is to this century what eugenics was to the last. So much of it is junk science that will inevitably be discredited once the hysteria dies down and actual science prevails.”

–From Sarah Palin’s MyFace Place

Bristolnacht, Cont. #PalinBrawl

<Premiere Of "Dancing With The Stars" Season 11 - Arrivals

The Smoking Gun has the police report. Heh.

The reports list Bristol Palin, 23, as a suspect, her brother Track, 26, as a victim, and Sarah Palin and her husband Todd as witnesses. A third Palin child, 20-year-old Willow, is identified as a “person interviewed.”

According to cops, Bristol appeared “heavily intoxicated” during questioning, and claimed that she had confronted a woman who had pushed her sister. Bristol claimed that the party’s host was “calling her a cunt and slut” and that she was pushed to the ground and pulled “around on the grass by her feet.”

…and it get’s better.

And just a housekeeping note: I’m on a train heading into Oregon, so posting will be lite today).

From the Double-Wide Gazette

Palin Clan Reportedly Involved In Epic ‘Dog Pile’ Fistfight At Snowmobile Party

There is just no limit to the thanks I give to Grandpa Walnuts for bringing The Narcisist Borealis to our national attention, and literally suggesting that this nitwit was the right person to have one heart beat away from the nuclear codes…

McCain-celebration

Word Salad, Tossed Fresh Daily

A dead-eyed dick

A dead-eyed dick

Alaska’s part-time governor and full-time grifter Sarah Palin must have spent some time at Annapolis as one of her five of so colleges from which she did not earn her degree, and she takes to the awesome power of her MyFacePlace page to offer her sound, professional, and winning advice to Commander-in-Chief (and Kenyan Usurper) Barack HUSSEIN O’Bummer on how to defeat ISIS (emphasis mine):

War is hell. So go big or go home, Mr. President. Big means bold, confident, wise assurance from a trustworthy Commander-in-Chief that it shall all be worth it. Charge in, strike hard, get out. Win.

Being Mooselini, she whines her usual grievances and then having lost track of her thesis (“Charge in, strike hard, get out”), contradicts herself (emphasis mine):

The rise of the animalistic terror group, ISIS, is the result of Obama’s lead-from-behind foreign policy. He had broadcast his war strategy for all the enemy to see in Iraq, so the enemy could wait us out and strike as soon as America turned tail and turned away from all we’d sacrificed there. Terrorists who we had under control got to regroup and grow after Obama’s premature pull out.

War is hell, Generalissimo Mooselini. But your writing seems to be hellish.

Word Salad, Tossed Fresh

Alaska’s part-time governor and full-time grifter Sarah Palin gives us our Labor Day tossed salad to go with our grilled steaks as she gives us the history of the Labor Movement, thanks blue collar workers, tells us that Taaaaaaahd was in a union once, tells us that union thugs are the problem, and then admonishes us to not make labor day political. Oh, and then she thanks the people who are working today.

Thanks, Mooselini, for putting so much labor into your channel. It really shows.