From the Double-Wide Gazette

Palin Clan Reportedly Involved In Epic ‘Dog Pile’ Fistfight At Snowmobile Party

There is just no limit to the thanks I give to Grandpa Walnuts for bringing The Narcisist Borealis to our national attention, and literally suggesting that this nitwit was the right person to have one heart beat away from the nuclear codes…

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Word Salad, Tossed Fresh Daily

A dead-eyed dick

A dead-eyed dick

Alaska’s part-time governor and full-time grifter Sarah Palin must have spent some time at Annapolis as one of her five of so colleges from which she did not earn her degree, and she takes to the awesome power of her MyFacePlace page to offer her sound, professional, and winning advice to Commander-in-Chief (and Kenyan Usurper) Barack HUSSEIN O’Bummer on how to defeat ISIS (emphasis mine):

War is hell. So go big or go home, Mr. President. Big means bold, confident, wise assurance from a trustworthy Commander-in-Chief that it shall all be worth it. Charge in, strike hard, get out. Win.

Being Mooselini, she whines her usual grievances and then having lost track of her thesis (“Charge in, strike hard, get out”), contradicts herself (emphasis mine):

The rise of the animalistic terror group, ISIS, is the result of Obama’s lead-from-behind foreign policy. He had broadcast his war strategy for all the enemy to see in Iraq, so the enemy could wait us out and strike as soon as America turned tail and turned away from all we’d sacrificed there. Terrorists who we had under control got to regroup and grow after Obama’s premature pull out.

War is hell, Generalissimo Mooselini. But your writing seems to be hellish.

Word Salad, Tossed Fresh

Alaska’s part-time governor and full-time grifter Sarah Palin gives us our Labor Day tossed salad to go with our grilled steaks as she gives us the history of the Labor Movement, thanks blue collar workers, tells us that Taaaaaaahd was in a union once, tells us that union thugs are the problem, and then admonishes us to not make labor day political. Oh, and then she thanks the people who are working today.

Thanks, Mooselini, for putting so much labor into your channel. It really shows.

Here’s Your Saturday Bottomless Mug of Stupid

Even Mooselini's boobs pout

Even Mooselini’s boobs pout

From Alaska’s part-time governor and full-time grifter Mooselini’s MyFace page: No Drama Obama’s Summer Casual Agenda for America (or What He Didn’t Do On My Summer Vacation)

There is absolutely nothing important going on in the world right now.

…which is why the Boreal Narcissus is so qualified to comment on it. When it comes to not important, trust her: she’s an expert! And yet, I bet she’ll find a way to whine about it!

There are no security threats, no worldwide turmoil affecting America’s interests, no civil war in Syria, South Sudan, or Libya. No war on our ally, Israel. No Ebola epidemic devastating West Africa and spreading. No race riots tearing apart a whole community in Missouri. No Russian aggression in Ukraine. No deranged North Korean dictator testing more missiles. No Chinese jets getting up close and personal with our American military. No brave American journalist sickeningly beheaded by Muslim terrorist savages rampaging through the Middle East seizing oil fields and committing genocide on Christians and Kurds. No illegal immigration crisis as thousands of unaccompanied minors illegally walk right across our unsecured borders. No scandals in Obama’s White House. No worried servicemen and women coping with ill-advised U.S. Military chainsaw cuts. And no increase in our nation’s debt. Nope. It’s been one lazy summer with nothing to do, not a thing to worry about in No Drama Obama land.

This explains why the President spent the summer on vacay in Martha’s Vineyard and is now gearing up for Vacation 2.0 this weekend with the One Percent in the Hamptons, again, and in Newport, again.

The world is falling apart, and the lazy The Kenyan Usurper isn’t there. Say, why are all the dogs barking?

It’s the usual Mooselini confusion: Obama is shoving this/that/other down our throats, and he’s lazy. He’s a jack-booted tyrant and lazy. She complains that Obama is spending his vacay (ugh) with fat cat donors and that the Dims want to gut Citizens United.

I’ll give her credit: her ghostwriter is getting her inflection down, and has mastered the petty grievances tone.

The Afternoon Quote

“President Obama placed his hand on a Bible and swore to preserve, protect and defend the Constitution of these United States. It’s time to put down the golf clubs, Mr. President. It’s time to stop the parties. It’s time to take off the mom jeans and put on some big boy pants.”

Todd Starnes, author of little words and small thoughts, endorsed by Sean Hannity, Phil Robertson, Mike Huckabee, Sarah Palin and Kirk Cameron, so you know he’s a bright one.

Here’s Your Saturday Bottomless Mug of Stupid, Sarah

Sweet Baby Jeebus: Mooselini opposes and supports putting troops in Iraq? And some poor schmuck is paying $10/mo for this sort of insight.

Once again, we must thank Grandpa Walnuts for bringing this dingbat to our nation’s attention, and suggesting that she should be one heartbeat away from the nuclear codes.

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Sounds Like a Plan

Mooselini salutes her fans.

Mooselini salutes her fans.

“We don’t want the GOP to pursue a ‘socialism-lite’ agenda. We want them to go on the warpath and do whatever it takes to stop the destruction of our constitutional Republic. It has become increasingly clear that the GOP leadership will do everything in its power to prevent the party from being influenced in any way by the Tea Party. I have given up on the GOP and am simply not sure it can ever be reformed.”

“We would also need a stable of respected national conservative leaders such as Sarah Palin and others to lead the charge on such an effort…

Steve Baldwin, a conservative activist and former California State assemblyman, writing in BarbWire.

Yes, Steve. Please do this. Please.

Word Salad Tossed Fresh Daily – The Who Goosed the Moose Edition?

Alaska’s part-time governor and full-time grifter Sarah Palin addresses the American Conservative Union in Colorado, and methinks she might have had a wee nip or two first. You don’t need to listen to much after the beginning of this speech before you will start to wonder what the hell Mooselini chugged before taking the stage.

And as always we thank Grandpa Walnuts for bringing this dingbat to the nation’s attention, and potentially bringing her petty grievances and dimwitted worldview within a heartbeat of the nuclear codes.

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