Goodbye, One-L, We Hardly Knew Ye

And with a whimper the strange career of Minnesota’s best known baby mill operator and theocrat in Congress closes.

But we will always have One-L, the girl with the Nancy Reagan tattoo, in our hearts, like the time she hid behind a hedge so she could spy on a gay rally, or when she fled the bathroom to avoid the advances of some lesbians, or all her talk of flying Imans, or the time she accused her congressional colleague Rep. Keith Ellison of being a Mooselume traitor, or the time she called for a McCarthy-like witch hunt of the US Congress to look for disloyal members, or the time she vise-like clutched Chimpy after the SOTUA and wouldn’t let him go, or the time she gave the Teabaggers rebuttal to the SOTUA to her friends from the planet Xemoxq. And then there’s the time she ran for preznint, declared that the american revolution began in New Hampshire, praised John Wayne Gacey… Well, Rachel has said it all before:

I’m Gonna Miss Her…


Our old pal One-L is in a league of her own:

Roma, Texas (CNN) — Michele Bachmann leapt out of a black SUV near a high cliff overlooking the Rio Grande, dashed to the edge of a boulder and scanned the river that divides her country from another.

It was a quiet Friday afternoon in this border town where immigrants routinely sneak across the river in inflatable rafts, climb a ravine and seek shelter in a local church. But at this moment, there was little more to see on the Mexican side than some fishermen casting rods and a few horses snacking near the river.

“Today it’s dead,” said Bachmann, a Republican congresswoman from Minnesota, sounding disappointed.

She blamed the stillness on the presence of a hand-held CNN camera.

So Elmer Fudd-like, One-L was gonna catch herself a wabbit, er, immigrant?

Bonus: if you follow the link and watch the video, you get to see IA’s own Steven King present the ultimate border fence.

Bachmann: Arbeit macht frei – UPDATED

Hall - Bachmann


… Bachmann’s plan? Send those children to labor camps, which she warmly refers to as “Americanization Facilities,” with the goal of having them pay off their past, present, and future care expenses, while assimilating them into American culture. And in exchange for that labor, the children would be fast-tracked on a path to citizenship…”

“Well, we’d of course want these facilities to be ideal, you know, for the children to work and learn. They’d spend half of their day working, and the other half learning what every child should learn, and that’s English, you know, English and American history. And as soon as they learn English with some degree of fluency, they can attend local schools, maybe with a voucher program, or something like that. And then they could work when they aren’t in school.”

“I think this is a great way to bring businesses into the Texas and Arizona areas, and maybe other states struggling with low employment opportunities.”

As Karoli at Crooks and Liars says,

So let me see if I have this right. They’re sent to “Americanization camps” which I would call indoctrination facilities. Those little 4 and 5 year old kids are expected to work to earn their keep because businesses could pay them nothing. And as an added bonus, we’ll cook 50,000 or so little God-fearing Republicans in the process!

With compassion like that, who needs beatings?

UPDATE: Well, we got Rickrolled. It’s a satire. In my defense I will note that Mock, Paper, Scissors was not alone in falling for the satire, and some news sites with professional journalists drawing a salary fell victim too. And while it would be easy to say that the satire cleaved so close to One-L’s oeuvre that anyone would have fallen for it (and did), instead I apologize to Rep. Bachmann. As the big boy journalists say, We Regret The Error.

Some Fresh-Baked Stupid to go With Your Afternoon Tea


“[The gay community will] abolish age of consent laws, which means we will do away with statutory rape laws so that adults will be able to freely prey on little children sexually. That’s the deviance that we’re seeing embraced in our culture today.”

One-L explains it all to us.

Just Lounging Around

Scissorheads – please welcome to the blog a new contributor, Axel Grease. Please give Axel the same warm and thoughtful welcome for which the incorrigible band of spitballers is so well known. –Regards, Tengrain

As a new contributor to the world of MPS – thinking is hard.

So is campaigning – running for President, possibly running for Senate and of course quitting your governor’s job are all just so hard.  With all that taxing sometimes you just have to lay back and enjoy a nice jacuzzi.

Wingnuttia’s magic number is 7 today

First we had Chris Wallace asking Fire ’em All Fiorina to answer his question 7 times, and now we learn that Notorious baby mill operator, future resident of Bedlam, McCarthyite witch hunter and self-confessed confident of God, Miss November, Bachmann-the-Nut secretly asked the Nobama administration for stimulus funds for her district in Minnasotastan 7 times

Coincidence? You be the judge.

OK, so what’s the big deal, you say? Could it have something to do with The Nut asking for funds from what she calls “the failed Pelosi trillion-dollar stimulus,” hmmm? Maybe it didn’t fail as much as the Nut thought? Or could she just be having one of her Michele moments, like when she was filmed hiding behind a bush at a gay pride rally and then denied she was there?

(Minnesota Star Tribune via Twitter comment)

Mr. Excitement Mourns DC’s loss, blames unions

I’m still trying to understand this. Tim Pawlenty, Governor of Bachmannsylvania, opines on the Mayoral race in Washington DC:

Mayor Fenty lost after the teachers’ unions led a campaign against him and Michelle Rhee. Fenty’s loss is further evidence that despite all their rhetoric about ‘the children,’ what the teachers’ unions really care about is getting more money for jobs they can’t lose at schools that produce students who are not prepared to compete.

Maybe he’s hoping that someone in DC can educate Bachmann-the-Nut?

Bachmann-the-Nut back home after being hospitalized!

Notorious baby mill operator, future resident of Bedlam, McCarthyite witch hunter and self-confessed confident of God, Miss November, Bachmann-the-Nut, was admitted to a Minnesotastan hospital for an undisclosed “illness” (mental?), to the horror of Teabaggers everywhere, worrying that their Borg Queen will be facing the Kenyan Usurper’s Death Panel.

The Nut even had to cancel a campaign appearance for unpopular Missouri candidate (is that redundant?) Roy Blount, who in spite of the evidence is still living.

Anyway, they’ve tagged and released her. She wondering around Minnesotastan, frightening children and senior citizens, and alarming the simple.

Falafel-Boy takes on Bachmann-the-Nut!

Man, this is better than Godzilla and the Smog Monster, but actually it is probably more like Ling-Ling:

Can you imagine how far off the Wingnuttian rails you have to be to have Bill O’Reilly take you on? I love it when the right wing attacks each other. More please!

Mr. Bachmann-the-Nut doesn’t want us to f*** his wife

The husband of Notorious baby mill operator, future resident of Bedlam, McCarthyite witch hunter and self-confessed confident of God, Miss November, Bachmann-the-Nut
thinks we are all out to make whoopee with his wife. In a fundraising mail, no less…

Dear Friends,
I write to you today as an outraged husband. My wife Michele Bachmann is under attack in the most vulgar and disgusting terms.

Just this week, all around the Minneapolis-St Paul area, posters started popping up for a concert titled “F*** Michele Bachmann.” This was a juvenile and immature act by those unwilling to have a dignified debate, but it doesn’t stop there!

Because a dignified debate with that screeching and lying harpy dingbat, you know, the one who wants to raise up a militia and assassinate anyone who disagrees with her dystopian view of the world, would probably be most civil until the f***ing started.

I wonder how his psychology practice, where he claims to “cure” gays is going?