Just Lounging Around

Scissorheads - please welcome to the blog a new contributor, Axel Grease. Please give Axel the same warm and thoughtful welcome for which the incorrigible band of spitballers is so well known. –Regards, Tengrain

As a new contributor to the world of MPS – thinking is hard.

So is campaigning – running for President, possibly running for Senate and of course quitting your governor’s job are all just so hard.  With all that taxing sometimes you just have to lay back and enjoy a nice jacuzzi.

Wingnuttia’s magic number is 7 today

First we had Chris Wallace asking Fire ‘em All Fiorina to answer his question 7 times, and now we learn that Notorious baby mill operator, future resident of Bedlam, McCarthyite witch hunter and self-confessed confident of God, Miss November, Bachmann-the-Nut secretly asked the Nobama administration for stimulus funds for her district in Minnasotastan 7 times

Coincidence? You be the judge.

OK, so what’s the big deal, you say? Could it have something to do with The Nut asking for funds from what she calls “the failed Pelosi trillion-dollar stimulus,” hmmm? Maybe it didn’t fail as much as the Nut thought? Or could she just be having one of her Michele moments, like when she was filmed hiding behind a bush at a gay pride rally and then denied she was there?

(Minnesota Star Tribune via Twitter comment)

Mr. Excitement Mourns DC’s loss, blames unions

I’m still trying to understand this. Tim Pawlenty, Governor of Bachmannsylvania, opines on the Mayoral race in Washington DC:

Mayor Fenty lost after the teachers’ unions led a campaign against him and Michelle Rhee. Fenty’s loss is further evidence that despite all their rhetoric about ‘the children,’ what the teachers’ unions really care about is getting more money for jobs they can’t lose at schools that produce students who are not prepared to compete.

Maybe he’s hoping that someone in DC can educate Bachmann-the-Nut?

Bachmann-the-Nut back home after being hospitalized!

Notorious baby mill operator, future resident of Bedlam, McCarthyite witch hunter and self-confessed confident of God, Miss November, Bachmann-the-Nut, was admitted to a Minnesotastan hospital for an undisclosed “illness” (mental?), to the horror of Teabaggers everywhere, worrying that their Borg Queen will be facing the Kenyan Usurper’s Death Panel.

The Nut even had to cancel a campaign appearance for unpopular Missouri candidate (is that redundant?) Roy Blount, who in spite of the evidence is still living.

Anyway, they’ve tagged and released her. She wondering around Minnesotastan, frightening children and senior citizens, and alarming the simple.

Mr. Bachmann-the-Nut doesn’t want us to f*** his wife

The husband of Notorious baby mill operator, future resident of Bedlam, McCarthyite witch hunter and self-confessed confident of God, Miss November, Bachmann-the-Nut
thinks we are all out to make whoopee with his wife. In a fundraising mail, no less…

Dear Friends,
I write to you today as an outraged husband. My wife Michele Bachmann is under attack in the most vulgar and disgusting terms.

Just this week, all around the Minneapolis-St Paul area, posters started popping up for a concert titled “F*** Michele Bachmann.” This was a juvenile and immature act by those unwilling to have a dignified debate, but it doesn’t stop there!

Because a dignified debate with that screeching and lying harpy dingbat, you know, the one who wants to raise up a militia and assassinate anyone who disagrees with her dystopian view of the world, would probably be most civil until the f***ing started.

I wonder how his psychology practice, where he claims to “cure” gays is going?

Abortion Field Trips! Yippee!

Ahh, it was a busy day for Notorious baby mill operator, future resident of Bedlam, and self-confessed confident of God, Bachmann-the-Nut.

Today, finishing her work on the ACORN beat (she grilled Bennie the Rat Bernanke on ACORN earlier, and no one understands what the Fed Chairman has to do with ACORN, but that is The Nut’s way…) and turned her walnut-sized brain and googly eyes on teen pregnancies. You see, buried in the healthcare bill is something rather plain and practical: funding clinics for schools. My school had a nurse, btw, and it was very good to have someone put on the Bactine and the bandaid right there. But The Nut sees things differently.

You see, in The Nut’s world, everyone is a sinner, every man, woman, and especially children. So having a school nurse means that kids are getting third period off to go get abortions, and then returning to school in time to catch the bus home.

And they don’t even have to be cheerleaders. Go figure.

Bachmann-the-Nut on hate crimes legislation

With all the noise surrounding Virginia Foxx’s crazy rant that Matthew Shepherd was not gay bashed to death, our favorite Crazy, famed baby mill operator and future resident of Bedlam was quietly spewing her own special brand of hate:

Apparently people who are practicing pedophiles would be considered protected under this legislation, but not, I understand, veterans, not, I understand, pregnant women, not, I understand, 85-year-old grandmothers would be protected under this law. But who would be protected? A pedophile, someone who considers themselves gay, someone who considers themselves transgender, someone who considers themselves a cross-dresser? That is who is protected.

Swine Flu over the cuckoo’s nest: the Bachmann Edition!

Baby mill operator and future resident of Bedlam, Bachmann-the-Nut, has consulted with the finest physicians in the world and concluded that Democratic presidents are a factor in swine flu epidemics, noting that the last outbreak happened in the ’70s under Jimmy Carter.

Except that it didn’t.

It happened under Gerald Ford.