Nepotism Legacy Hire Out

meghan

We are sad to announce that Soylent Blonde herself, Meghan McCain is out of a job at Pivot teevee: Her show, Takepart Live has been cancelled.

Pivot TV has canceled its signature nightly program, “TakePart Live.”

The show is hosted by Meghan McCain, Jacob Soboroff and Baratunde Thurston, and airs weeknights at 10 p.m. It will wind down over the next few weeks, with its final episode airing before the end of the year. Pivot is expected to try and find new roles for the hosts at the channel, though exactly what those roles may be remains unclear.

… One source familiar with the decision said that the show was canceled in part because “TakePart Live” was expensive to make, produced by Embassy Row Productions, which also produces programs like “Talking Dead” and “Watch What Happens live.” Ultimately, the cost of the show, combined with the comparatively low viewership Pivot saw (the channel was not rated by Nielsen, suggesting low viewership), led to its cancellation.

The show, I am told with a straight face, was designed to engage with the average millennial about current events. I suppose as long as your average millennial is a powerful senator’s daughter and heir to a significant booze fortune.

Regardless, we still love our Soylent Blonde and we continue to root for her as she brings her refreshing brand of youthful conservatism to the ever-declining and ossified Big Tent.

RWNJ Pundits go after Soylent’s Breasts!

Maybe that’s a poor way to start this post, but I bet I’ll get a lot of hits. Anyway…

Yesterday on one of the talking heads shows, our beloved Soylent Blonde said something blunt about Christine No’Donnell that just about everyone has said: that No’Donnell is a joke, specifically Soylent called her a Nutjob.

Now then, it hardly matters that the night of the Primary, ol’ Turdblossom himself called No’Donnell that and other words, too. Soylent Blonde committed apostasy against Wingnuttia, and so she must be punished:

What did her political discourse earn her? Misogynistic attacks from right-wing pundits. Blogger Doug Powers kicked off the mud-slinging with a post on Michelle Malkin’s blog Sunday morning. He began his post with a photo of McCain that spurred controversy after she posted it on Twitter a year ago and commented, “Disregard the above photo. I’m only putting it there to remind myself to check my tire pressure later this afternoon.”

Later that day, conservative blogger Dan Riehl on his blog Riehl World View referred to McCain as “Meggie ‘Big Mac’ McCain” and wrote that “this self-indulgent set of mega-breasts doesn’t belong anywhere near a TV studio commenting on anything.”

Jeff Poor, a staff writer for the Media Research Center’s Business & Media Institute, rounded out the evening by re-tweeting a conservative blogger’s comment that “I swear, if Meghan McCain gets any dumber she’ll be drooling on her boobs” with the remark: “Haha.”

Yes, we here at Mock, Paper, Scissors mock Soylent Blonde constantly, almost always for her poor grammar, shallow proclamations, and her sense of entitlement (poor little rich girl) but we do not mock her breasts. We agree with her positions more often than not when she takes on women’s topics (especially the bobble headed harpies of the right) and youth issues. But we do not mock her breasts.

(Media Matters)

First review of Soylent Blonde’s book is in: meh

Ultimately, if you were a HUGE fan of the 2008 campaign, the book is worth a skim. It’s not a crime that she wrote it, though it often feels like a misdemeanor reading it.

Who woulda thunk that Little Miss Entitlement’s book would feature yard sign theft (oh, the madcap hijinx of an heiress!) and hair styling bitch sessions? Yeah, me too.

(Time)

Imagine Godzilla v. Mothra as valleygirls

Gawker has unleashed upon the innocent the most horrible thing I could ever imagine: SoyBlo interviews Snooki:

Gawker – SoyBlo goes tit-for-tat with Snooki

Snooki: I only know politics about, like, you know, tanning and being a Guidette. So when I saw it was Obama and McCain, to be honest with you, the only reason why I voted for your father was because he was really cute and I liked when he did his speeches.

Meghan: Well, thank you. [Laughing] I appreciate that, though it’s a little weird… Are you still pissed off about the tax on tanning?

Snooki: Um, I really don’t see the reason why there would be a tax on tanning, because so many people go tanning even though they’re not, like, Guido/Guidettes. People go tanning because they like to feel tan.

I guess with rip-snorting insider political interviews like that, SoyBlo knows her gig with Tina Brown’s HuffPo (the Daily Beast) is safe forever. What? No hair extensions?

He’ll be a better writer than Soylent Blonde in a week or less

A dolphin is learning how to use an iPad to communicate with his human handlers. Bet me he won’t call his followers on Twitter his TwitFam. I’m lookin’ at you, Soylent.

(The link is to a PDF file, so it might be slow opening. Hat tip: Scissorhead Dimitrios.)

The Andy Warhol Book Club

meghan

OK, so last night, Blue Gal alerted me that Soylent Blonde is so upset because people were being mean to her — after she published this picture on Twitter — that she is thinking about quitting the microblogging platform.

First of all, Meghan, if you are by any strange chance reading this: don’t quit. It was your choice to post that picture, I think you knew what you were doing, it is a self-portrait. No one should resign from anything because of a self-portrait.

But I think I would take a long, serious look at your goals right now. You started off wanting to be taken seriously as a GOP change agent. You stared down all the bobble-head stick figured women of the right and told them to kiss your fat ass, and you made some great points about expanding the base of the GOP. We loved you when you did that. You remain our favorite GOPer, in spite of what you might think.

But lately, you’ve been going down this weird attention slut, fame whore path. You’ve been hanging out with Tila Tequila, Perez Hilton, and a handful of other needy Drama Queens, who will do nothing short of handing out speculums and free peeks to get attention.

You told us that your Halloween costume will be some sort of slutty Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz outfit, and now you’ve thrown this totally engineered boob-drama on Twitter at us. Do you see a connection, because I sure as hell do.

Take a time out, examine your goals, ask yourself if this is really what you want to do to achieve them. Talk to your mom and dad and get some perspective on being famous. Be willing to reset your goals or change your methodology. But honestly, keeping on this path is only going to make you into Paris Hilton 2.0. I mean who is going to take you seriously if you keep doing this weird exhibition shit and then complain when people look?

You are damaging your brand.

The New Math

This post is dedicated to Lockwood who won the contest to re-nickname Meghan McCain, previously known in these parts as “Butterball.” We decided to re-christen Meghan when it was pointed out, repeatedly, that “butterball” could be interpreted as being fat-phobic. We here at MPS are anything but: we don’t like bobble-headed, stick figured women, especially of the GOP kind. We do have a thing for dangerous curves, whether it is on a road or on one of our favorite GOP spokes persons.

(Grandpa Walnuts plus a lot of money (C-Word?), squared) minus (the bobble-headed and hate-filled twig figures of the GOP as exemplified by Ann Coulter and Laura Ingraham) divided by the mysterious no one-knows-what-it-really-is Soylent Green equals our favorite GOP spokesmodel, the very curvey and pretty heiress and free-thinking Meghan McCain, AKA Soylent Blonde.

The Butterball Project Finalists!

(Scissorheads: the polls are closed. Rgds, T.G.)

UPDATE: Butterball is guest hosting The View — this might help you choose between the finalist in our great re-naming contest!


AP

Scissorheads –

After much careful thought, and rigorous debate, TexBetsy and I narrowed down the potential nicknames to replace Butterball for Meghan McCain. We used applied scientific notation, the Pythagorean theorem, and Rock, Paper, Scissors. We feel quite satisfied that our process is the model of transparency.

The winner will have a New Math post dedicated in his/her honor and a signed original print (suitable for framing).

So… the nominees are (in alpha order):

  • Gutterball — Wee Mousie
  • Sane McCain — Bruce388
  • Soylent Blonde — Lockwood

Please cast your votes in the comments. Anyone can vote, no proof of ID required. We will close the polls whenever we feel like it, and our decision is final (Sorry Norm). Oh, and we do take bribes. This is America, after all.