The Grades Are Posted!

Noted unwed mother and foe of Marriage Equality and founder and abandoner of the National Organization for Marriage, the always delightful gamine Maggie Gallagher gives us her report card on the candidates as they fall into her narrow, theocratic spectrum on hating on the ‘mos.

Wedding Bell Blues, Maggie Gallagher

Wedding Bell Blues, Maggie Gallagher

“Unlike most report cards created by advocacy groups, our report card is not an evaluation of the candidates’ formal position or legislative record, but an analysis and report of how they responded to a major event unfolding in real time from the standpoint of those of us who care deeply about life, marriage and religious liberty. We cannot claim omniscience, but we can and do seek honesty and clarity.”

“We used a similar metric in evaluating GOP candidates responded to the Supreme Court decision finding a right to gay marriage. We looked for the candidate to respond in three ways:

  1. He or she would clearly and confidently explain that marriage, as the union of husband and wife, is not only “traditional,” it is rationally related to the welfare of children and the common good.
  2. He or she would clearly state that this Supreme Court decision is not the end of the debate, but as in Roe v. Wade, it is the beginning of a long cultural and moral argument, one with political ramifications. In other words, he or she would not accept (as the Left doesn’t accept when it disagrees with the Court on cases like Citizens United) that the 5-vote majority Supreme Court has the last word in a democracy. Any suggestion that the proper response is merely to say “this is the law of the land and we need to move on” is an automatic F, in other words.
  3. He or she would offer a specific legislative proposal that he or she could deliver on in the first 100 days of office to protect the civil rights of gay marriage dissenters. What could voters actually expect from the candidate if they give him or her their vote? We do not expect politicians to be magicians. But should the voters elect a Republican Congress and a Republican President, what can they expect to get in terms of concrete, practical protection?”

Your Sunday Bottomless Mimosa of Stupid

Get off the cross we need the wood

Wedding Bell Blues, Maggie Gallagher

Wedding Bell Blues, Maggie Gallagher

Famous unwed mother Maggie Gallagher is still trying to deny wedding bells for the ‘mos: she’s written a mash note to Justice Kennedy pleading with him (at the intellectually dishonest white supremacist pamphlet National Review)

“The forces for gay marriage are powerful. You have been their hero in the past, when gay people were not so powerful. The tables are turned now, as I think is clear to everyone. The LGBT community has built a powerful cultural, legal, and political movement. They are not helpless or friendless. They do not need you to distort the Constitution to win the right to live as they choose. We who believe in the traditional understanding of marriage do need your help. We live at a time when our livelihoods are under new attack, when our standing as equal citizens is under attack, when the system of ideas and the deep human realities that gave rise to marriage for millennia are now being dismissed as mere bigotry, as irrational, incomprehensible hatred.”

And then being, you know, a great legal scholar herself (as well as Chimpy’s ethics-challenged journalist of choice), Gallagher gives Kennedy a lesson on the Constitution featuring four weak points that she hopes “will move” him. It’s a Tour de Derp for the ages.

From The You Cannot Make This S*** Up Dept.

Maggie Gallagher

Famous unwed mother and religious scold Maggie Gallagher, founder of the failed social engineering project National Organization for Marriage, cites a Pew Research Poll that shows support for Marriage Equality falling, and gives credit to… wait for it… Duck Dynasty.

It may well be an outlier, but here is why I suspect not:

White Evangelical support for gay marriage dropped 4 percentage points, from 22 percent to 18 percent; Catholic support dropped 9 percentage points, from 61 percent to 52 percent. (White mainline Protestant opinion was virtually unchanged, rising from 56 percent support to 57 percent support.) Unaffiliated support for gay marriage continued its rise — from 71 percent to 76 percent in just one year.

But something happened over the last year to give traditional Christians second thoughts about what gay marriage would mean. What could that be?

The most likely candidate is A&E’s decision to suspend Duck Dynasty patriarch Phil Robertson, after he expressed, rather colorfully, rather standard orthodox Christian views on gay sex.

Every little straw, Maggie. Grasp each of ’em. Also/Too: 5% drop in support is within the statistical deviation.

(National Review Online, the most intellectually dishonest rest stop on the Information Super Highway)

News Briefs

News you can use all day

(Morning Joe) It’s too soon to play politics with the Navy Yard Gun Shooting. It’s always too soon, Joe.

  • National Registry – Petunia 2.0 wonders if what we need is a National Video Games Registry, because: video games, not guns, kill people. (Raw Story)
  • Boycott! – NOM, the failed social engineering project of twice unwed mother Maggie Gallagher that would deny civil rights to gay people, is agitating to boycott companies that don’t discriminate against LGBT employees. Now in range, Apple and Amazon. Given how well their Starbucks and General Mills boycotts have gone, this could be a lot of future Claim Chowder. (Good As You)
  • Nominations! – Long-term Russian Tourist Edward Snowden is one of seven nominees for the 2013 Sakharov Prize for Freedom of Thought, the highest human rights prize in the European Union. (Livewire)

Maggie Gallagher sees the Prop 8 future, and weeps

We have little doubt that this trial judge is going to knock down Prop. 8. I hope I’m proven wrong tomorrow. This has been a judge that looks pretty eager to make a historic decision.

— Maggie Gallagher, chairman of the National Organization for Marriage

Poor Maggie Gallagher, what a tough summer she has had. First, Carrie Prejean (the notorious finger-banging Xristian Sensation, and Gallagher’s own shower-nozzle masturbation fetish object) gets married, and of course NOM’s own Feel the Hate bus tours to spread the word of the evils of marriage equality have been poorly attended. And now Chief U.S. District Judge Vaughn Walker is set to rule today on the landmark case that might overturn the controversial limiting of civil liberties against gay and lesbian people.

As Maggie Gallagher weeps…

Poor Ethics-challenged Homophobe, former unwed mother and known beauty queen stalker, El Presidente for Life of the failed social engineering non-profit National Organization for Marriage (NOM, which may be a front for the Mormon Church), Chimpy’s shills for hire, the auture of the much-ridiculed Gathering Storm ad, Maggie Gallagher must be having a terrible week:

  • Last week, The Supreme Court ruled against the gay-marriage opponents in an unambiguous 8-to-1 decision holding that petition-signers don’t have a constitutional right to privacy—a reasonable conclusion, given that the petitions were circulated in front of Wal-Mart, among other public venues.
  • And now, a U.S. district judge in Boston, Massachusetts declared Thursday in two separate rulings that a nation-wide ban on same-sex marriage is unconstitutional because it prohibits individual states from defining what marriage is and is not.
  • CARRIE PREJEAN, The topless Xristian sensation and infamous finger-banging soft-core underaged porn actress, homophobic decrowned/deflowered failed beauty queen, and shower-nozzle masturbation fetish-object of Maggie Gallagher, got straight-married.

NOM: “Carrie who?”


Yes, the inevitable has happened: Ethics-challenged Homophobe, former unwed mother and known beauty queen stalker, El Presidente for Life of the failed social engineering non-profit National Organization for Marriage (NOM, which may be a front for the Mormon Church), Chimpy’s shills for hire, the auture of the much-ridiculed Gathering Storm ad, Maggie Gallagher has scrubbed the taint of Carrie Prejean from the NOM website.

According to the Colorado Independent…

Carrie Prejean, the decrowned Miss California USA and darling of the Christian right, appears to have been scrubbed from the National Organization for Marriage website. The move comes in the wake of a TMZ interview with the man whom Prejean reportedly met through MySpace and had a four-day hotel fling with in 2007. He alleges Prejean sent a series of sex tapes to him over the next couple of years. It’s the latest chapter in the story of Prejean’s partygirl past, which keeps leaking into the public sphere, ruining what had been her budding career as a Christian-values conservative politics spokesperson.

Poor Maggie Gallagher, alone with her WaterPik, weeps in the shower.

(Hat tip: Scissorhead Moeman)

Carrie Prejean: the bakery called, they want their cupcakes back


The infamous homophobe and decrowned/deflowered failed beauty queen, soft-core underaged porn actress, and shower-nozzle masturbation fetish-object of NOM’s lesbian-challenged unwed mother Maggie Gallagher, CARRIE PREJEAN is being sued to reimburse the Miss California Pageant for her boob job.

(Hat tip: Moeman)

Take THAT, Maggie!


The nominal head of NOM (National Organization for Marriage, AKA the Pity Party), the homophobic Catholic and formerly unwed mother, infamous Dan Quayle-supporting Murphy Brown-bashing, and Chimpy’s ethically-challenged Flack for Hire, Maggie Gallagher, has another notch to add to her belt, so to speak, of losses.

As the DesMoines Register tells us…

Democrats retained a fiercely contested House seat in a special election Tuesday, turning aside Republican hopes to showcase a victory as a sign that Iowa’s political tide has turned.

Maggie, displaying her usual organizational excellence, decided to create The Reclaim Iowa Project, arrived late in the state and late the race, and spent $86,000 to run one of NOM’s unremarkable ads on the teevee machine constantly, and to no avail. And this one didn’t even involve talking corpses discussing the weather in some sort of Gothic-lampoon production of Our Town.

Maggie, we Scissorheads salute you, and hope you continue to run these sorts of campaigns, spending all the money you have on nothing.

UPDATE 1: NOM faces multiple ethics violations accusations in Iowa and Maine.

Maggie bleats on-and-on on gay marriage (again)


Poor Maggie Gallagher. The homophobic Xristian and formerly unwed mother, Chimpy’s notoriously ethics-challenged hack-for-hire and the nominal president of NOM (AKA the Pity Party), she who fetishized failed beauty queen and topless Xristian-lite-porn model sensation, Carrie Prejean, into early retirement, feels that she was almost trapped, Trapped, TRAPPED into what Mooselini calls Gotcha Journalism. But using her slow wits, she managed to decline her tormentor’s questions, but then blogged her answer, anyway, at the Blog at Poo Corner, the most intellectually dishonest spot on the innernets, where she knew that no one would question her.

Steve Chapman, of the Chicago Tribune asks a simple question of the foes of marriage equality, make a prediction about what will happen in states that allow same-sex marriage — “…to make simple, concrete predictions about measurable social indicators — marriage rates, divorce, out-of-wedlock births, child poverty, you name it.”

Now, considering that is a pretty open-ended question, and is exactly the sort of soapbox that Gallagher usually gets on and brays endlessly about how marriage equality is the end of the world as we know it, it seems surprising that she would “politely decline” to answer. (And in fairness to her colleagues in hatred, none of them responded…)

But then, here’s her answer in her post at the Blog at Poo Corner:

In gay-marriage states, a large minority people committed to traditional notions of marriage will feel afraid to speak up for their views, lest they be punished in some way.

Public schools will teach about gay marriage.

Parents in public schools who object to gay marriage being taught to their children will be told with increasing public firmness that they don’t belong in public schools and their views will not be accomodated [sic] in any way.

Religous [sic] institutions will face new legal threats (especially soft litigation threats) that will cause some to close, or modify their missions, to avoid clashing with the government’s official views of marriage (which will include the view that opponents are akin to racists for failing to see same-sex couples as married).

Support for the idea “the ideal for a child is a married mother and father” will decline.

Aside from the typos, Maggies answer, oddly, is not the sort of measurable societal indicators that Chapman was asking for. Those are the scare tactic responses, which in all honesty are boiled down to this: if you allow marriage equality, then we who want to discriminate against gays and lesbians will have no where to go.

See? I told you the Blog at Poo corner is the most intellectually dishonest spot on the innernets.