Levi Johnston’s Reality Show

The anti-Mooselini is going head-to-head with the Wasilla Chillbillies.

While I think I now know more than I ever wanted to know about all the grifters in Alaskastan, I gotta admit that I am on team Levi. He’s doing us all a public service just shadowing them and getting under their skin. Yeah, it might be self-serving, too, but I’m giving him props for keeping up a good fight.

Presented without comment

licking beer bottle

Mooselini claims that she did not know that Levi and Bristol were having sex.

“Light or dark meat, Todd?”


Mooselini invites Levi Johnston to Thanksgiving Dinner.

Ladies and gentlemen, the poetry of Levi Johnston

I have to admit he got me on the fat kids part.

The Sperminator speaks!


Yes, the world is soon to see a new side of Levi Johnston, the sperm donor to Mooselini’s daughter, the infamous Sex Educator Bristol Palin, and father of little Trip Palin (the likeable Palin), as Levi prepares to show the world his twig and berries.

“He’s pumped! He’s ready to shock the world. The hell with fifteen minutes,” Jones told Us over the phone. “As a matter of fact, when I picked him up, he came out the house naked. I said ‘not now!'”

Johnston himself took the phone for a moment to chime in, telling Us: “I just get naked. That’s what I do.”

He’s just a simple lad.

This just in: Mooselini is a fame whore


Poor, monosyllabic Levi Johnston, turkey baster to noted Abstinence Educator and un-wed single mother Bristol Palin, said that he thinks Mooselini quit being the Grifter Princess of Alaskastan so she could cash in on some of the offers that she is getting.

She had talked about how nice it would be to take some of this money people had been offering us and you know just run with it.

But of course, this being the Palin franchise, Mooselini’s hired mouth and fellow basketball metaphor coach, Meghan Stapleton, had to bring the guns to the press to denounce the young and fertile hocky playing stud with thighs like pistons that could go all night:

It is interesting to learn Levi is working on a piece of fiction while honing his acting skills,” Palin family spokeswoman Meghan Stapleton said in an e-mail to The Associated Press.

You know it won’t end there. Stay tuned for more volleys back and forth.

News update from Levi Johnston!


The seed donor of the youngest Palin (Tripp), Levi Johnston, appeared on the Living Museum of 80s Power Suspenders and cleared up so many mysteries around, well, stuff.

King: When it began to be sexual and romantic [with Bristol], did the governor know?

Johnston: You know, I’m not sure. That’s a question I can’t really answer. But, you know, I think…

King: What do you think?

Johnston: You know, she says she [didn’t] know. But I don’t know. I think she’d probably know, you know?

Levi is said to be shopping around a tell-all book. With insight like this, it is sure to be a best seller!

From the Crayon-stained wretches department


Levi Johnston shopping tell-all to finance custody battle for son! – The National Enquirer

Well, this ought to make Queen Mooselini of Alaskastan go nonlinear.

UPDATE: The Living Museum of 80s Power Suspenders will have Levi and his sister, Trashella, as special guests tonight. Mt. Redoubt is not the only red-hot-magna filled thing that is gonna blow in Alaskastan!