Word Salad, Tossed Fresh Daily

back-of-palin-hand

“To claim last night, also, our president saying ISIS is not Islamic, um, ISIS says they’re Islamic,” Palin continued. “They are so full of deception that America should be concerned with the policies that are going on. And, as I watched the speech last night, Sean, the thought going through my mind is ‘I owe America a global apology. Because John McCain, through all of this, John McCain should be our president.’ He had the advice, today, still giving it to Barack Obama, and he will not listen to it, about the residual forces that must be left behind in order to secure the peace in Iraq that we had fought so hard for.”

–Famous party-crasher Mooselini to Sean Hannity, and Blog only knows what she was trying to say. (Raw Story)

Woman Hating Woman Still Hates Women

Phylus Schlafly has written another screed about feminism. The HuffPo have a Q&A, and I could not help but notice this exchange:

Where were conservatives when the divorce rate got out of hand?

Phyllis: They were quietly raising their own families.

Let’s fact-check that one:

  • Twice-married Saint Ronnie–divorced Jane Wyman and married Nancy “Just Say No” Davis (pregnant, so obviously she sometimes said yes). Never attended his children’s weddings.
  • Twice-married Grandpa Walnuts–divorced wife #1 after she was disfigured in a car accident to marry booze heiress that he affectionately calls The C-Word.
  • Triple-married Rudy Giulianni–he loved his family so much, he even married his cousin. Between marriages he shacked up with some gay pals. Estranged from his children.
  • Triple-married Newtie Gingrich–serial adulterer, he always cheated on the current wife with the next incumbent. The man had standards, but clearly the wives did not. Calista Blow Job Queen #3 converted him to Catholicism.
  • Quadruple-married Junkie Limbaugh–the less said the better.

(HuffPo)

I demand to see the Frog’s papers!

Arizonastan must be a magical place, full of wingnuts, old air conditioners, and singing frogs. Anyway, their crazy crackpot and racist governor Jan Bradey Brewer produced a commercial with a puppet that resembles the other famous Arizona puppet, Grandpa Walnuts, if he were not a cave fish. HENNNNNNGGGH?!

(Via Wonkette)

Mavericky Grandpa Walnuts is new & improved without maverickness

Jeebus, horrible old cave-fish monster Grandpa Walnuts 2.0 has put everything on the table in his vampire-like quest for eternal senatorial life, and is now friends with the US Chamber of Commerce. You may recall that in Grandpa Walnuts 1.x that he he fought the Chamber, vigorously, when he was opposed to Chimpy’s Tax Cuts for the Rich program and fighting for Campaign Finance Reform.

But all is forgiven now, and Walnuts is being feted by the Chamber and given a fundraiser. Think Progress caught up with the ol’ ex-Maverick on his way to be greased-up:

I hope that Grandpa Walnuts gives a splash towel to…

Dana Milbank, AKA, the Dickwhisperer, hard at work.Dana Milbanks, the Dick Whisperer, hard, at work

The Dick Whisperer for this column. Sweet Jeebus, you can almost see his lower lip quiver, and hear the beating of his fluttering eyelids.

Dana, Dana, Dana. It would never work out. Grandpa Walnuts has never so much as given a roofie to that badass senator, Miss Lindsey Graham.

(Hat tip: Sandy Underpants at the essential The Aristocrats for bringing this to my attention.)