Weepy the Orange Weeps More

Hahahaha! Now I know why Weepy wanted the US Taxpayer to pick up the tab for BP’s environmental disaster: he bought about $50,000 of BP stock, which –HAHAAAAAHAHAHAHA! — he bought right before the rig blew up real good. Which means he no longer owns $50,000 of BP stock.

House Republican Leader John Boehner bought between $15,000 and $50,000 in stock in BP, the company responsible for the spill that has spurred an environmental disaster. Boehner, of West Chester, purchased the stock on Dec. 10, four months before the April 20 explosion that set off the spill.

According to Boehner’s office, the congressman sold his BP stock on May 18. It wasn’t immediately clear how much money Boehner lost in the transaction.

This Olympic moment is brought to you by…

…BP. And of course the USOC is just fine with BP as sponsors. In sports, Big Money is the same, no matter how tainted it might be.

Anyone else think it will be unintentionally hillarious to watch olympic class swimmers sponsored by BP, proud providers of coastlines where no one will be allowed to swim for a generation or two?

But on the bright side for the athelets, just about nothing that they do can be worse than their sponsor, so doubtful that BP will pull their sponsorship next time Michael Phelps lights up.

Separated at Birth?

Boss Hog and Haley Barbour, separated at birth? By Tengrain

“Barbour, a former Chairman of the Republican National Committee, has consistently insisted that pretty much every reaction to the spill has been an overreaction.”


Get thee to Dcap’s place, STAT

DCap gives us A Child’s Treasury of Oil Spills.

Florida, land of the newly wed and the nearly dead

Epcot by AwesomeFlorida.com

BP’s slick will be on the Florida Peninsula by the weekend. But meanwhile a saw that the robot subs were using to cut the pipe has gotten stuck.

Is anything going as planned?

Someone needs to change Vitter’s diaper…

…there’s something oily in it:

What happens when you’re a small government, pro-business conservative and your state gets pummeled by one of the worst man made disasters ever – not five years after getting pummeled by one of the worst natural disasters (Hurricane Katrina)? If you’re Louisiana Senator David Vitter, you double down on offshore drilling and push for a liability cap for BP.

Maybe being pro-BP will throw Vitter out, while his trysts with hookers seems to be acceptable. After all, GOP grifters want money, and if he is going to negotiate it away protecting BP, they might not like that.

(Time’s Swampland blog)

Hell must be running out of demons

BP hires Cheney spokeswoman to lead PR effort

No mention if BP plans to shoot an old dude in the face yet.

Pleasantville, revisited

Thus, the media begins the rehabilitation of The GOP’s favorite in-house Exorcist and noted volcano monitor, professional Mr. Rogers’ Impersonator and Governor of Louisiana, Bobby “Bubba” Jindal:

Constantly jumping in and out of National Guard helicopters and drawing up plans for additional “burrito levees” and “boudin bags” needed to stop the oil slick from flowing further into his state’s marshes, Jindal has quickly mastered the details of the issue. At a press conference in New Orleans in mid-May, the Washington Post reported that “he gave updates on the size of tar balls washing up in Port Fourchon (up to eight inches), the number of sandbags to be air-dropped (1,200) and state money spent to date ($3.7 million). He also provided a weather forecast (‘The winds continue to come out of the southeast, 10 to 15 knots’).”

Because it is all about appearances and words, not about actions. Tweetie couldn’t fellate Jindal better than this. The New Republic ought to be ashamed.

But, if the media were doing its job, it might remember to report this factoid from his Congressional career – he revived drilling in the gulf and got Chimpy to sign it into law:

In 2006, Jindal sponsored the Deep Ocean Energy Resources Act (H.R. 4761), a bill to eliminate the moratorium on offshore oil and gas drilling over the U.S. outer continental shelf. A poll taken while the bill was being debated, showed that 73% of the U.S. public supported the measure. Jindal argues that 30-40% of oil reserves of the United States are near the Louisiana coast and increased drilling would reduce American dependence on foreign oil. This prompted the watchdog groups, Republicans for Environmental Protection as well as the nonpartisan League of Conservation Voters to rate him among the lowest in Congress in 2006.

Taking asses and kicking names

Getty – President Carebear sprouts antlers, he’s so angry.

President Carebear has fired Liz Birnbaum, who was the head of Porn and Meth administration that also (too?) was somehow in charge of oil rig inspections. However, Ken Salazar says that she resigned “on her own terms and own volition,” which is Washington speak for spending time with her family, which means she will be porn surfing at home.

Meanwhile, BP is now not so sure about their mud-packing into the butt of the earth to stop it from spewing forth earth-butt stuff onto Bubba Jindal, Boy Exorcist. Oh, and it is now officially the worst oil disaster in the history of the republic.

BP Theater presents…

The good news: Mermaids are real. The bad news: they’re pissed off.