Here’s Your Cheese Sandwich With a Side of Stupid

“It is my belief that any, any, any, any weapon that our government and law enforcement possesses ought to be allowed for individuals to possess in this country.”

“The Second Amendment is about us defending ourselves against potentially tyrannical government. You cannot defend yourself with a BB gun if your opponent has cannons and bazookas and missiles.”

–Xristian Xrazy talk radio host, ammosexual, and Georgia congressional candidate Jody Hice, who seems to think that the Government is comin’ for ya, so you better have tactical nukes.

One Flew Over The Bachmann’s Nest

Oh, please, Please, PLEASE!

Bachmann-the-nut-in-the-hospital

“The only thing that the media has speculated on is that it’s going to be various men that are running,” she replied. “They haven’t speculated, for instance, that I’m going to run. What if I decide to run? And there’s a chance I could run.”

Our old pal One-L teasing us that The 2016 Goat Rodeo might give us a repeat performance:

Here’s Your Eggs With a Side of Stupid

Sand-People

“One thing is certain, however, inmate Wood died in a lawful manner and by eyewitness and medical accounts he did not suffer. This is in stark comparison to the gruesome, vicious suffering that he inflicted on his two victims – and the lifetime of suffering he has caused their family.”

Jan Brewer, The Terrible Queen of the Terrible Sand Kingdom of Arizonastan, (commenting? dissembling? lying? we’ll go with covering her ass) on the botched 2-hour execution of convicted double murderer, Joseph Wood.

We are barbarians that we still let these state-run executions happen.

It Must Be Summer Because Paul Ryan…

…is already singing that familliar tune:

Paul Ryan (pic Gregg Segal for TIME)

CHAIRMAN PAUL RYAN is at AEI this morning to present an anti-poverty plan, “Expanding Opportunity in America: A Discussion Draft from the House Budget Committee,” in a speech that pulls in his Jack Kemp roots and allows him to tap into his inner wonk. He’s proposing a voluntary Opportunity Grant program that “would consolidate up to 11 federal programs into one stream of funding [food stamps, housing subsidies, child-care assistance, cash welfare] to participating states.”

He only knows one tune, so he keeps changing the name of the song, but the melody stays the same.

We have an obligation to expand opportunity in America — to deliver real change, real solutions, and real results. And to do that, we need to stop listening to the loudest voices in the room — and start listening to the smartest voices in the room. So I’ve spent the last year traveling all over the country-learning from people fighting poverty on the front lines. I’ve been to a high school in Milwaukee that’s eliminated 14 gangs from school grounds. I’ve been to a church in Indianapolis that’s helped hundreds of men get off drugs. I’ve been to a homeless shelter in Denver and a rehab center in San Antonio.”

…and I’ve been to Nice and the Isles of Greece, but I’ve never been to me…

“[T]oday, I want to start a conversation. … When I went to Milwaukee or Denver or Indianapolis, nobody asked me what party I belonged to. They welcomed anybody who was willing to listen and learn. That should be our approach in Washington. Enough with the politics. Let’s talk solutions … [W]e need to build a society where hard work is rewarded and every American has the opportunity to succeed-regardless of birthplace or background. And to do that, everybody’s got to get involved. If we all work together, we can build a healthy economy. We can fix this. We can get this done.”

It’s his same Ayn Randian bullshit with a different Ronald Reagan cover band. (Fair Warning: it’s a PDF, 73 pages.)

Bad Headlines, Cont.

Ebony

Well, bad everything, actually.

(Hat tip: Scissorhead Skinny-D)

blogging-addiction

Heading back to Seattle tonight, will be there by tomorrow night. Posting will be lite in the meanwhile, so why not choose a few blogs from the blogroll to visit? Everyone of’em is a proven winner (Scissorheads rule, after all), and see what your friends and neighbors are up to?

Here’s Your Eggs With a Side of Stupid

“You see, the Bible makes it clear that Adam’s sin affected the whole universe. This means that any aliens would also be affected by Adam’s sin, but because they are not Adam’s descendants, they can’t have salvation,” he explained. “Jesus did not become the ‘GodKlingon’ or the ‘GodMartian’! Only descendants of Adam can be saved. God’s Son remains the ‘Godman’ as our Savior.”

–Theocrat Ken Ham, Answers in Genesis pride and joy, explaining to us that space Aliens are going to Hell, and that’s why we should defund NASA.

(More proof that the War on Women is driven by Xristian Xrazie fundamentalism. They will never, Never, NEVER stop blaming women for Original Sin.)

Happy Hour News Briefs

News that will drive you to drink

The Kenyan Usurper should be hung, drawn, and quartered. By the way, this is from the Center for Immigration Studies, a Wingnuttian think tank.

  • James Robison thinks that the religious are NOT involved enough in US Politics. But please disregard if you are not a Xristian Xrazie.
  • Get Off The Cross, We Need the Wood - Constitutional Scholar and Gay Studies Theorist Matt Staver says that The Kenyan Usurper’s secret goal with the LGBT non-discrimination executive order is to discriminate against Xristian Xrazies:

    “I think it ought to wake up the American people and certainly legislators to see what the end game here is,” Staver tells OneNewNow. “It’s not non-discrimination, it’s not tolerance: it is absolute dominance particularly not only of all worldviews but of the Christian and Judeo-Christian worldview. That’s really what this is about.”

  • You Have Been Warned! - Archie Comics Embraces Homosexuality, Witchcraft Demons and Occult Practices. What’s gotten into Archie? Well not Kevin Keller… but the alternate future storyline where Archie is killed by a gun nut when he tries to save gay Kevin’s life. The Xristian Xrazies, you see, thinks that the gun nut is the hero?

Rick Perry Declares War

perry deepthroats a dog

Texas Gov. Rick Perry (R) reportedly plans to dispatch the Texas National Guard to the U.S. border with Mexico, according to news reports.

Perry will announce his plans Monday to mobilize some 1,000 guardsmen to the Rio Grande Valley to increase security at the border, according to the Monitor, a south Texas newspaper. The newspaper quoted a state senator and an internal memo it obtained from a state official’s office.

…or maybe he’s just announcing his run for preznint?