The Quotable Ben Carson

Carson said WHAT?!

Carson said WHAT?!

“Someone has tried to make [Abortion] into an issue of women’s rights,” the GOP hopeful told the crowd. “What about the baby? You know, it’s one of the most sacred relationships in the universe, a mother and that child inside of her. How have we become so distorted that we have managed to convince women that that baby inside of her is her enemy and that she has a right.” (Raw Story)

Let the Re-hab Begin!

That hair wasn't teased, it was cruelly bullied.

That hair wasn’t teased, it was cruelly bullied.

The unthinkable is starting to happen in all the whiter neighborhoods of Wingnuttia: they are beginning to realize that short-fingered vulgarian Donald Trump (thanks Spy Magazine!) isn’t the base’s summer fling with fascism that they thought he was; maybe he’s here to stay?

What is really telling about Trump’s staying power is that no matter what horrible, hateful thing comes spilling out, his approval rating goes higher. As we’ve noted before, Trump reflects the Republican Base, he’s not a symptom.

And so now Y’all Qaeda is trying to come up with a way to rehab/reframe him because if he’s going to be the nominee, they need a way to explain their support for him.

Enter Rich Lowry, the man who saw starbursts when Sarah Palin made her debut on the national stage. Lowry is the editor of the intellectually dishonest National Review, which seems to be some sort of equal opportunity employer for drooling imbeciles like Jonah Goldberg, and other assorted bigots and racists. You may recall that streak of dismissals a year or so ago when certain authors got a little too Confederate-y even for the NRO.

Anyway, you may recall after the September Republican Debate, Lowry famously said that Carly Cut Off Trump’s Balls ‘with the Precision of a Surgeon’ at Second Debate, which even for the National Review Online seems a little, um, crass? Let’s refresh our memories:

KELLY: “Let’s start with that. People say it’s sexist to say her business career was a disaster. Has anybody said that?”

LOWRY: “No, no one disputes that. Trump obviously attacks everyone but she’s become a much bigger target, and I think part of what’s going on here is that last debate. Let’s be honest. Carly cut his balls off with the precision of a surgeon.”

KELLY: “What did you just say?”

LOWRY: “He knows it.”

KELLY: “You can’t say that.”

LOWRY: “He knows he insulted and bullied his way to the top of the polls. No one was able to best him ever, except for this tough lady on that stage. And it must kill him. He must be simmering about it to this night.”

Pretty blunt then, but today, Lowry is singing the praises of Trump: Donald Trump — The Jacksonian Candidate:

In large part, Donald Trump is a Jacksonian, the tradition originally associated with the Scotch-Irish heritage in America and best represented historically by the tough old bird himself, Andrew Jackson. Old Hickory might be mystified that a celebrity New York billionaire is holding up his banner (but, then again, Jackson himself was a rich planter). Trump is nonetheless a powerful voice for Jacksonian attitudes.

A rich planter? The old bird was a stone-cold, slave-owning racist, who displaced native people with abandon to seize their land. So maybe there is some comparable basis in fact, what with Trump and eminent domain if you don’t sugar coat it.

Trump has trampled on almost every political piety, and gotten away with it, even when he has been factually wrong or had to backtrack. “The Jacksonian hero dares to say what the people feel and defies the entrenched elites,” Mead writes. “The hero may make mistakes, but he will command the unswerving loyalty of Jacksonian America so long as his heart is perceived to be in the right place.”

Ye gods, there must be a pony in there somewhere!

Anyway, Lowry’s piece goes on valiantly trying to position Donald Trump as a populist in the Conservative tradition of Jackson, and sings more praise to Jackson than to Trump, but he’s trying. That the National Review would be the first conservative media outlet to try to rehab Trump is not surprising. Maybe the real anomaly was when Lowry was singing the praise of Fire ‘Em All Fiorina’s animal husbandry skills?

And Now We Know…

Brisket, the naughty nun

Brisket, the naughty nun

From Brisket Palin’s® Pikor:

when you find out @kristincavallari named her baby the exact name you are naming yours 🙀😳 what a weird coincidence .. congrats on your new bundle, and I do love her name.. Still naming my baby girl Sailor! 🙊😻❤️

“Hey Sailor, come here often?”

The mind boggles.

The Professor Speaks!

Goat don't take no bull.

Goat don’t take no bull.

My regrets, I’m late to the party, and so today we will look at our good friend Professor Hubbard’s latest poll analysis at the much-acclaimed Above None of the Above.

Here are the take-aways that I found interesting:

  • ¡JEB! the Smartest Bush® polling is still below the line and so he is not discussed (I think this now makes it 3 or 4 weeks, so it would be unprecedented if the guy in 5th or 6th place were to recover and win the nomination. Though the Prof has not declared it over for ¡JEB!, I think the fat lady is in good voice.)
  • The non-politicians have continued to slide, but still hold a commanding lead over the pros. Crazy times!
  • Snake-handling impresario Bobby Jindal’s disappearance from the 2016 Goat Rodeo had no impact whatsoever on any remaining candidate.

Professor Hubbard and I are in agreement that the real race to watch is going to be for who is in second behind Trump, should Trump ever implode. Carson is sliding for the third week running and Rubio and Cruz are duking it out to be in second. Given this weekend’s crazy Trump developments did not sink him at all (and in fact he appears to be boosted if what I’m reading in today’s news is to be believed; Wingnuttia loves a good fascist), I think we are in for a really wild ride.

Stratego for Grown-ups

Toy PlaneI’m not at all trained in the so-called art of warfare. I missed out on the various gulf adventures that the Bush Crime Family inflicted on us, and so I know nothing of strategy except what I gleaned from watching Top Gun in my jaded golden youth. I know less about tactics.

Lt. Col. Robert Bateman, who blogs with Brother Pierce at Esquire, however does know a great deal about strategy and tactics.

I bring this up only because today Turkey shot down a Russian fighter plane after warning them multiple times that the plane was in Turkey’s airspace.

Says Bateman:

“Investigative reporters are repeatedly reminded three words: “Follow the money.” Always good advice. But military strategists also have a similar saying: “Tactics wins battles, but logistics wins wars.” So how does this apply to Putin and his efforts in a place that does not immediately adjoin his own borders?

“Well, yeah, he can provide food and armaments to those bases he has in Syria via airlift. That is possible, given the fairly small amount required to support Russia’s really limited forces in Syria, and even what they bring in to support Assad. But there is one immutable thing about Putin’s Russian forces in Syria, one that they can’t avoid. They need fuel.

“This is an issue, why? Because to supply the amount of fuel needed by an air campaign requires more than just an airlift. It has to come via sea. Getting fuel from Russia itself to the Russian bases on the coast of Syria involves getting from the Black Sea to the Mediterranean. Bit of a problem that, since that means going through the Dardanelles. Turkey, in short, owns Russia on that count. Unless Russia wants to start a shooting war with all of NATO.”

I believe in Bateman’s analysis, you know, based upon my extensive playing of Stratego (and never once winning).

The thing that gets lost in all of this is that Russia is supporting the brutal dictator Assad in a civil war there. Russia is not fighting ISIS, and if anything their actions might be empowering them (“the enemies of my enemies…”). They are certainly creating the refugee crisis. Not that reality matters to Wingnuttia, because it is easier to blame Obama than understand what is actually going on.

One Lump of Stupid or Two, Ben Carson

Bennie 'The Blade' Carson

Bennie ‘The Blade’ Carson

You might recall yesterday that ‘Bennie-the-Blade’ Carson backed up the claims made by short-fingered vulgarian Donald Trump (thanks Spy Magazine!) that a yooge number of Muslims in New Jersey were seen whooping it up and doing the Snoopy Dance of Joy as the World Trace Center collapsed in the 9-11 attacks, a claim so stupid that even Gov. Sammiches had to smack it down, as if NJ had bridge and tunnel jihadists who were not working for him?


Seriously? Noted Egyptologist Carson would rather have us think he confused New Jersey with Iran?

HR is Cringing, Marco

Grifters Gotta Grift

Deep thoughts from Marco Rubio

Deep thoughts from Marco Rubio

Today’s deep dive into the charmed life of serial under-achiever Marco ‘Big Gulp’ Rubio, the Cold Warrior for a New Generation, and beloved grandson figure of Wingnuts over the age of 65 and under the age of death, comes to courtesy of his hometown newspaper, The Tampa Bay Times:

“But even in an often overlooked part of Rubio’s professional life — academia — public records show a familiar pattern for the presidential contender: basic expectations for the job unmet or ignored, dubious accountability and oversight, and job opportunities that would be highly unlikely for anyone without his political stature.”

And that was the nice part.

The gist of it is that sticky-fingers Rubio drew a salary from Florida International University while holding state and federal office, and did not perform the requirements of the job:

“The requirements of this position include, but are not limited to the following: prepare and present lectures, develop reading lists, assign and grade homework, prepare, give and grade tests, meet with students, and provide grades to students in accordance with the academic standards of Florida International University,” stated letters signed by Rubio and his supervisors in 2011, 2013, 2014 and 2015.

But Rubio never developed reading lists or graded papers or tests, according his colleagues.

It sounds suspiciously like he got bored, you know, like how he’s said that he’s bored with being a senator:

In addition to co-teaching a course with his longtime friend and pollster, Dario Moreno, documents show he was supposed to develop policy recommendations for an affordable housing summit; arrange a followup conference with local and state leaders; take the lead on Metropolitan Center breakfast forums on the 2008 presidential election and on hurricane mitigation; and develop research projects for the center.

But the Metropolitan Center never did hold a followup affordable housing conference or a breakfast focused on hurricane mitigation. FIU records obtained by the Times make no mention of Rubio’s participation in the policy recommendations for the first affordable housing summit, or any research projects developed by Rubio.

There seems to be a pattern with Rubio, an ambitious young man in a hurry, where always financially strapped, he grasps on to paying opportunities and leverages them to the next rung in the ladder. That FIU paid him for work he never did seems sort of moot: they got a seated elected representative/speaker of the legislator/senator, which probably did them no harm to recruit students, if not to help fund the school.

FIU hired Rubio with the understanding that he would privately raise most of the money for his salary. The school has declined to identify donors in that effort. But the New York Times in June revealed that Norman Braman, a Miami billionaire who is helping bankroll Rubio’s presidential campaign and also employs his wife, Jeanette Rubio, gave $100,000 to FIU to cover Rubio’s position.

So even in his “teaching career” Rubio was beholden to a sugar daddy’s special interests. It’s a fascinating and damning article. Did Rubio scam the university? It’s unclear, but what is clear: his past performance is the best indicator of his future performance. Human Resources directors everywhere are cringing that this guy never got put on a performance plan.

Fashion Week, Cont.

Man Talk

Um, where’s Dude’s other hand?

News That Will Drive You To Drink

Happy Hour News Briefs

Phyllis Schlafly

Phyllis Schlafly

Award winning ancient hate goblin pessary Phyllis Schlafly tells World Nut Daily in an exclusive interview:

“Every time they say, ‘You can’t deport these people, in my mind’s eye, I see the picture of those railroad cars carrying the illegals out of our country when Eisenhower deported them. They say it was a failure. It wasn’t at all,” Schlafly told WND in an exclusive interview.

“In my mind’s eye, I see those railroad cars full of illegals going south. That’s what they ought to do.”

There’s something unsavory about the relish and gusto in which she makes these statements. One can almost see the drool as the oven heats up…

Your 3-Martini Lunch is Served, Huckabee

Really, Uncle Sugar? By executive fiat, you will stop all abortions and un-marry the ‘mos?