One Lump of Stupid or Two, Sen. Cruz?

Death of the Media

The stupid... it burns

The stupid… it burns

This is from a real interview:
You’re also a fan of ‘‘Star Trek.’’ Do you prefer Captain Kirk or Captain Picard?

Absolutely James Tiberius Kirk.

Do you have a suspicion about whether Kirk would be a Democrat or a Republican?

I think it is quite likely that Kirk is a Republican and Picard is a Democrat.

To which Capt. Kirk replied:

The Morning Quote



“We made a commitment to the American people that we would follow through on Wall Street reform and we have not yet done that,” O’Malley said at the Truman Center for National Policy. He said “any Democratic candidate running for president, who expects to succeed in the general election,” should “make some basic commitments that make real that promise of following through on Wall Street reform.”

…Describing the need for tougher penalties, he said, “If you slap a bank robber on the wrist, he’s going to keep robbing more banks. The same is true if the person wears a suit.”

I’m starting to like this guy, too.  That was a good left hook.


This Exists

News That Will Drive You To Drink: The Fox Effect, cont.

The Linda Blair of the 2016 Goat Rodeo

The Linda Blair of the 2016 Goat Rodeo

Fox Effect Background: obvious anagram Reince Priebus, who only had one job, punted the whole debate rules and regulations to Fox News; Fox News is now officially in the position of being the kingmaker of the the 2016 Goat Rodeo because they decided that they will only include 10 of the 16 candidates in the first debate which is in two weeks. We predicted, admirably I might add, that the lower-tier candidates will do whatever it takes to climb up the ladder, appearing on Fox News shows, trying to make headlines, and of course spending a lot of money on ads—where else—on Fox News. Their antics have been stunning.

We saw in the past few days Schrödinger’s Candidate Rand Paul burn, chip, and chainsaw the tax code; we’ve seen Senatorette Huckleberry Closetcase destroy his cellphone, and today we see Uncle Sugar blow-up Disney characters.

The Afternoon Quote

The Eyes of Texas Are Upon You, Fort Knox!

The Pride of Texas!

“[The highly edited Planned Parenthood video] is not different from something that I saw just a very few years ago in Dachau.”

–Cathie Adams, former chairman of the Republican Party of Texas who now serves as president of Texas Eagle Forum.

So we have to ask: were you a guard there?

Greetings From the Caliphate of Seattle

Seattle Landmark and weapon!

Seattle Landmark and weapon!

World Nut Daily tells me that Seattle is now under Sharia Law:

“While some cities in Texas and other Southern states have been adopting ordinances that protect their citizenry from creeping Shariah-compliant practices, cities such as Seattle are taking the opposite approach.”

OMG, where do I sign up for my virgins? er, I mean, I for one look forward to our new overlords.

“Seattle’s Democrat Mayor Ed Murray was so concerned that Muslims and other residents weren’t buying enough homes in his city that he had a committee investigate how that could be rectified.”

Actually, the whole region is worried that people of lower income are being priced out of the market. Affordable Housing was really the issue, and so the City was looking to have some public-backed financing. Also/too: wait until WND finds out Mayor Murray is gay and married… but do continue:

“One of the committee’s recommendations: Banks need to offer “Shariah-compliant” mortgage loans for Seattle’s growing Muslim community.

“Muslims are forbidden by their religious law, Shariah, from paying interest on loans so they must be offered loans structured in such a way that interest is not part of the package.”

So you can see the problem here: if you provide public-backed financing that discriminates against one religious population, you’ve run afoul of the First Amendment. But wait! There’s more!

“Critics say the idea opens the door to financing for Islamic radicals and even terror-tied groups, via money laundering.”

Is your bearded Barista a bro or a terrorist?! Frappuccino Fatwahs! Next! On Sick, Sad, World! (Say it in a Daria way.)

Some Fries With Your Stupid?

He really tells Obama to listen to his follow Africans.

Hey Republicans! You Built This!

White on the Inside and Outside.

White on the Inside and Outside.

Trump threatens third-party run

“The RNC has not been supportive. They were always supportive when I was a contributor. I was their fair-haired boy,” the business mogul told The Hill in a 40-minute interview from his Manhattan office at Trump Tower on Wednesday. “The RNC has been, I think, very foolish.”

Oh, Donald… please! Please! PLEASE! Last time I checked yesterday, Trump was polling at 24% of GOP voters and the next candidate was around 13%. I wasn’t sure if it was before or after his remarks about Grandpa Walnuts. I’m guessing it just doesn’t matter. He’s the angry white man’s candidate, and they seem to like him no matter what.

Hey Reince, your performance appraisal is gonna suck this year.

Trump: From the Way-Back Machine

One Lump of Stupid or Two, Gov. Walker?

The Crying Game

The Crying Game

This is the very conservative hate-radio host and noted Xristian Xrazy Steve Deace, who, um, takes no-shows very personally, and so when Scott Walker, the wall-eyed git hired to enrich the Koch Industries fortunes in the midwest, didn’t make the interview, Deace used the time to denounce and berate him: