Let’s Go Shopping With Rand Paul


Let’s open the box with Schroëdinger’s Candidate Rand Paul! He’s calling for an additional $190B in defense spending, which as you know is a principled position to take when he previously has called for cutting defense spending.

And as always, Sen. Aqua Buddha’s staff is clarifying what the Senator meant:

“This is one amendment, not a budget proposal from Senator Paul. It is one small snapshot of how to pay for defense spending. Senator Paul has put forth entire fully balanced budgets. He has more amendments (like an amendment coming up later on overseas emergency spending, where he will also propose cuts to pay for it). The point of the amendment today is to show that you need to be fiscally responsible. The time of funding any priorities—even vital ones like national defense—on a credit card, needs to end.”

Ah, so the plan is to cut domestic spending to fund the war machine, which is of course a very principled Libertarian, non-interventionist thing to do.

Want Some Fries With Your Stupid, Ted Cruz?

Canadian-born latino and immigrant-hating southern white supremacist Senator Ted Cruz won’t run a nasty, personal, gutter campaign. And I am the Tzar of all the Russias.

International Diplomacy, Wall-Eyed Git Edition

He's a wall-eyed git, but he listens to voters named Koch.

He’s a wall-eyed git, but he listens to voters named Koch.

Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker, the wall-eyed git hired to enrich the Koch Brothers fortune, has preemptively rescinded the Iranian nuclear non-proliferation deal (not yet made) by The Kenyan Usurper and his brethren mooselums, in Iranistan, which he can do because he is not (yet) the Preznint, so why the heck not:

In an interview on Hugh Hewitt’s radio show, the host asked Walker whether he would “disown” any agreement between the U.S. and Iran that allows for uranium enrichment if he wins the presidency in 2016.

“Absolutely,” Walker said. “On Day 1.”

“The concept of a nuclear Iran is not only problematic for Iran, and certainly for Israel, but it opens the doors,” Walker continued. “I mean, the Saudis are next. You’re going to have plenty of others in the region … going to want to have a nuclear weapon if the Iranians have a nuclear weapon.”

Walker also plans to cancel treaties with the Martians, revoke women’s suffrage, and cancel the Magna Carta. The end.

One Lump of Stupid or Two? UPDATED

Jeebus in his younger, happier days.

Jeebus in his younger, happier days.

Indiana Governor and part-time tool bench Mike Pence signed his much-coveted We Don’t Serve Your Kind law in a private ceremony this morning:

Gov. Mike Pence signed a controversial “religious freedom” bill on Thursday morning during a private ceremony in his Statehouse office.

Pence almost immediately began defending the law, saying at a news conference that the law was not a consolation prize for conservative groups who failed to pass a bill last year to add an amendment to the Indiana constitution banning same-sex marriage.

“”I think there’s a lot of misunderstanding,” Pence said about the religious freedom law. “This has never undermined anti-discrimination laws.”

…and the fallout has begun. In addition to the gamer convention that has pulled out of renewing a long-term convention contract that expires in a few year, Mark Benioff has cancelled the SalesForce.com conference, and the Disciples of Christ is leaving the state, too.

I’m not sure of how many tourism and convention dollars that amounts to, but my guess it is in the tens of millions at this point, with certainly more to come, all to prove to Y’all Qaeda that Indiana’s termite-ridden governor Pence is as dumb as he looks, which in itself is quite a feat.

UPDATE 1: Gen Con, the gamer conference estimates that their contribution to Indiana is $50M. (Fair Warning: PDF).

UPDATE 2: The NCAA is evaluating pulling out of Indiana.


(Full disclosure: I knew Mark when we both were working at Oracle. He’s a good’un.)

UPDATE 4: George Takei fires all phasers.

(Management Note: Yr ‘Grain is hungover today. Please forgive the typos.No shouting in the comments.)

News That Will Drive You To Drink

Tenth-er News Today

Ancient hate goblin pessary Phyllis Schlafly, who crows loudly that she is a constitutional attorney, says that governors should refuse to enforce a Supreme Court Ruling if they rule in favor of letting the ‘mos getting married.

The 3-Martini Stupid

First off, my apologies for making you listen to the high-pitched squeal of Ted Cruz, especially when it is so hard to follow his incomprehensible rhetoric. Here’s the pertinent quote:

“Today the global warming alarmists are the equivalent of the flat-Earthers. You know it used to be it is accepted scientific wisdom the Earth is flat, and this heretic named Galileo was branded a denier.”

Galileo’s observations proved that the earth was not the center of the universe, he had nothing to do with flat earth. Secondly, Galileo was right, and his methodology was to look at the evidence and see where it took him; the theocrats with their common knowledge were wrong. So… Isn’t Cruz saying he’s a flat earther, and that he’s wrong and the scientists are right?

How did Cruz ever make it out of law school if he cannot follow or construct an analogy that makes sense.