Bad Ads, Cont.

straight from the nut

Dude has been working too hard at getting some, uh, straight from his nut: look at his thumb!

(Hat tip: Scissorhead Moeman)

News That Will Drive You To Drink: Claim Chowder for Bobby Jindal

Ah'm as popular as a fart in church back home!

Ah’m as popular as a fart in church back home!

Too bad, so sad: Bobby Jindal administration will start issuing marriage licenses to same-sex couples in downtown New Orleans

“Today the Eastern District Court of Louisiana ordered the Louisiana Department of Health and Hospitals to begin issuing marriage licenses to same-sex couples who complete a marriage application at the Department’s Office of Vital Records in Orleans Parish,” said Olivia Hwang, spokeswoman for the agency on Thursday afternoon.

“Orleans Parish is the only place where a state agency — not a court clerk — is in charge of authorizing marriage documents. So, unlike elsewhere in the state, Jindal had more control in Orleans over the issuing of marriage licenses. Same-sex couples who wanted to be married in Orleans were having to travel to the 2nd City Court in Algiers for a license this week.

“Jindal has essentially declined to comment on the reversal of Louisiana’s same-sex marriage ban, instead referring media requests to state agency heads about how the state will handle the change. “

So Bobby Jindal was as effective at protecting the sensitive fee-fees of Y’all Qaeda against the Lavender Menace as he was at being a sound, fiscally conservative governor? Yes.

Sudden-Death Overtime!

Wall St. Hard at work, so to speak.

Wall St. Hard at work, so to speak.

I am highly amused by the reaction of our much cosseted criminal class (Bankers and their Allies) to the new proposed overtime rules. When I read some of the reactions I recalled my high school US history class when we had the unit on the Great Depression and all the efforts to pull us out of our death spiral, not the least of which was the Fair Labor Standards Act of 1938, which established a minimum wage amongst many other reforms.

I’m going to give you some quotes and see if you can tell if they are from today or from 1938:

  1. ” [this] crackpot legislation…is utterly impractical…[and] would be much more destructive than constructive to the very purposes which it is designed to serve.”
  2. “Supporters of these regulations say they want to increase Americans’ take home pay, but these sweeping changes to the rules could mean anything but. If these regulations stand, that mobility and adaptability of employee schedules, which make our industry appealing, will be severely diminished.”
  3. “…[it] constitutes a step in the direction of communism…”
  4. “[Overtime] will not guarantee more income, but instead will negatively impact small businesses and drastically limit employment opportunities.”
  5. “It seems as if these proposed rules have the potential to radically change industry standards and negatively impact our workforce.”
  6. “…[it] will destroy small industry.”
  7. “[how could business] find any time left to provide jobs if we are to persist in loading upon it these everlastingly multiplying governmental mandates and delivering it to the mercies of multiplying and hampering federal bureaucracy?”

So if you too think that you hear an echo, you are not crazy. They’ve been pissing on our leg and telling us it is raining for 75 years.

I’d also like to call your attention to yesterday’s NYTimes editorial, which concludes with:

“No party and no politician that opposes the new overtime rules can credibly claim to care about the middle class.”

This really is the the Kobayashi Maru for Wingnuttia: they can’t support overtime because The Kenyan Usurper wants it and their nutty base will eat them with fava beans and a nice chianti, but they can’t oppose it because reveals their inequality rhetoric is as empty as their suits.

(Answer Key 1938: 1, 3, 6, 7 2015: 2, 4, 5)

Some Fries With Your Stupid, Dinesh?

D’vorce D’spousa, documentarian fabulist, convicted felon, fired Y’all Qaeda business school dean, and would-be bigamist, looks thoughtfully over the horizon at the Pacific Ocean and tells us…

Oh really? Hillary is a white hag? Isn’t that (gasp!) reverse racism and full-on sexism and ageism? Slamming night schools when you were once a boutique bidness school dean? I don’t think rebuttals are your strong suit, D’Vorce D’Spousa.

It takes a master filmmaker to go with the bold choice of staring across a golf course (or whatever that resort is) to tell us that the Republican Party is the party of the people.

Save The Date!

Breaking 2016 Goat Rodeo News!

Breaking 2016 Goat Rodeo News!

Tiger Beat on the Potomac (thanks Charlie!) breathlessly tells us via their email thingie that Scott Walker, the wall-eyed git hired by the Koch Brothers to enrich their midwest fortune, will announce his entry into the 2016 Goat Rodeo on Monday, July 13:

EXCLUSIVE — From Walker aides — MKE or bust: “After hearing from countless Americans during the Testing the Waters phase, Governor Walker this morning will file his papers of candidacy with the FEC. Governor Walker will announce his intentions in Waukesha on the afternoon of Monday, July 13th.”

And of course, Marketing Mike Allen who writes this thing has to include a plug for himself:

–FLASHBACK – Playbook, June 14: “PLAYBOOK FORECAST: Most likely Scott Walker announcement date is Mon., July 13.”

Same Bat-time and same Bat-channel, kids:

–HAPPENING TONIGHT: “Walker … will issue on Instagram the first of nine pieces of the Walker for president logo. Each day a new piece will be revealed @scottwalker.”

Oh, I can hardly wait.

The Morning Quote

Get Off The Cross Someone Needs The Wood

The wingnut mind at work

The wingnut mind at work

Today’s pontificating poltroon is the Pride of Iowa, ol’ Cantaloupe Calves hisself, Steve King, rhapsodizing on impeaching the Supreme Court, you know, for doing their job:

“That provision does exist, and let’s hear what the public has to say,” he added. “If that were put up before me today, and I think I mentioned Ginsburg and Kagan as being two that had been conducting same-sex marriages on their spare time and did not recuse themselves, I would put up the vote to remove them from office. And I’d like to see that case heard again and it would come down four-to-three and it in the end it would come back to the states for that decision, where it should be. But I don’t know if the public is ready for that.”

I suppose following Rep. King’s legal theory then all SCOTUS Justices who have conducted marriages (or participated in a marriage?) should be impeached for not recusing themselves? Of course, King has rationally, unemotionally, called for abolishing civil marriage altogether:

That’ll teach the ‘mos!

One Lump of Stupid or Two, Conservatives?

Bad Ads, Cont.

Wedding Bell Blues, Maggie Gallagher

Wedding Bell Blues, Maggie Gallagher

Not since unwed mother and founder of the National Organization for Marriage Maggie Gallagher’s auteur, ground-breaking work on the Gathering Storm anti-marriage equality ad have we seen an ad as ham-handed and out of step with american society as the conservative nonprofit group Catholic Vote’s new Not Alone ad:

Adweek reports:

“About halfway through this two-and-a-half-minute film from conservative nonprofit the Catholic Vote, its treacly, overly stylized message becomes clear. These Catholics are nervous about revealing their stance on same-sex marriage because they’re (spoiler alert!) against it.

“That stance is nothing new. And everyone is entitled to their opinion, as long as it doesn’t lead to legislation that discriminates. No, what’s galling about the ad is its appropriation of LGBTQ themes to marginalize LGBTQ people.

“The ad, with a straight face, position Catholics as a persecuted group for not having their message of intolerance (here blatantly recast as its opposite) widely accepted these days. It even plays like a coming-out video for Catholics who are afraid to take the “brave” step of voicing their objection to equality. That’s a pretty audacious tactic—disingenuous and disrespectful, to say the least.”

It takes some brass to try to reposition the institutional bigotry of conservative Catholics to be the victim of oppression. So where’s the mass movement to oppress and deny Catholics their rights?

But thankfully, as Adweek let’s us know, there is already a parody ad, Not Alone:

Bad Packaging, Cont.

Cutter

What are the parents doing to BettyLou Who?

(Hat tip: Scissorhead Paleo)

News That Will Drive You To Drink

Mike (Gomer) and Jetherine (the Gomerette) Huckabee

Mike (Gomer) and Jetherine (the Gomerette) Huckabee

Mike Huckabee, the 2016 Goat Rodeo Contender best known to Spitballers far and wide as Uncle Sugar, has discovered black people! Who knew?! BuzzFeed, that’s who!

“People are saying, ‘Well, churches shouldn’t have a tax-exempt status. A Christian school or a university should not have a tax-exempt status, shouldn’t be able to let students come on Pell Grants.’ Because if you equate same-sex marriage to a civil right—,” Huckabee said on a local radio station in Baton Rouge, interrupting himself to make his case against the comparison.

“First of all,” Huckabee said, “what an insult to African-Americans, who were hosed in the street, who were beaten, who were truly discriminated against with separate restrooms, separate drinking fountains, separate entrances. That was true discrimination and it was horrible. It’s hard to say that the redefinition of marriage is on the same basis as was racial discrimination throughout our history.”

Pretty amazing considering last week he told us that there was no racism, just people who needed to be converted to Jeebus.

Petunia and Pals Serves Your 3-Martini Stupid

The Other Stupid One tells us that all of our laws come from The Ten Commandments. I like the way the guest tells us that he and his wife home schooled their children and taught them to recite the names of the Presidents and Oklahoma Governors, because: Why Not?

This is like watching a couple of two year olds on a play date just babbling whatever comes to mind.