Phew! That Was A Close One!

Grifters Gotta Grift

fart trumpet

Once again, Our Lady of Bountiful Pasta and Good Shoe Wear Cindy Jacobs saved our bacon! You see, last week before the long weekend she prophesied (is that a real verb?) an attack on the US Capitol, and called for her prayer warriors to put a shield up.

And look, nothing happened! Another stunning victory for Cindy. Send her $3 to say thank you, hmmm?

Some Fries With Your Stupid?

Marco ‘Big Gulp’ Rubio, the Cold Warrior for a New Generation, and beloved grandson figure of Wingnuts over the age of 65 and under the age of death, gets a lavish tongue bath from Crazy Unkka Pat, who thinks that hispanic immigrants will flock to a Cuban Candidate, whose family got to jump to the front of the line.

Proof

Rand Paul wants to be left aloneHey guys, remember the other day when I said that Fox News was setting up the debate rules in such a way that it benefits them and will force the 2016 Goat Rodeo contenders to appear on as many of their shows as possible?

Here’s some proof from Tiger Beat on the Potomac’s email thingie (thanks Charlie!)

–RAND’S IN NYC TODAY for “CBS This Morning,” “Fox & Friends,” “Varney & Co.” on Fox Business, Megyn Kelly and Jon Stewart. At 7:30 p.m. he does a signing with his wife, Kelley (author of “True and Constant Friends”), at Strand Books (828 Broadway, at 12th). Tomorrow, he’ll be on “Morning Joe,” and talks to Gretchen Carlson on Fox. Rand travels to Chicago tomorrow, Iowa on Thu. and S.C. on Fri.

I also saw something this morning (but didn’t bookmark it) about Carly ‘Fire ‘Em All’ Fiorina, which also supports my contention that they are grooming her to make the cut for the top 10 spots in their debate.

The Xristians’ Get Out Of Jail Free Card

jeebus light switch

You are saying that Josh Duggar—the incestuous Xristian, home-schooled pedophilia aficionado, deemed too toxic for an official hate group—wasn’t a Xristian yet, so that’s what happened and why?

Um, not to put too fine of a spin on it, but if Josh Duggar wasn’t a Xristian, then no one is a Xristian.

Also/too, Mr. Comfort, I gotta ask: what did YOU do before you were saved? Um, asking for a friend.

AR Senator Wants To Duggar Police Chief

The wingnut mind at work

The wingnut mind at work

Arkansas Senator Bart Hester does not understand his job:

“In Touch Weekly got the police report through a lawful Freedom of Information request, but did not publish any actual names.

“Arkansas State Sen. Bart Hester is now calling for the firing of Springdale Police Chief Kathy O’Kelley for releasing the report to In Touch Weekly, noted KFSM.

“Hester, a Republican, stated on May 23:

“The law to protect minors’ identities is not a suggestion. So sad to see the person charged with protecting the community being so reckless and irresponsible. I believe it is unavoidable that the Springdale police chief should be terminated. She has re-victimized these young ladies.”

“Springdale Mayor Doug Sprouse countered, “From every indication I have the chief and city attorney (Ernest Cate) reluctantly did what they had to do to comply with the state FOI law.”

“Undeterred, Hester added, “The city of Springdale’s liability seems endless on this. I certainly anticipate criminal charges against Chief O’Kelley.””

Bart Hester also introduced a We Don’t Serve Your Kind law earlier this year, to help religious people from having the ‘mos get hitched.

(Crooks and Liars)

One Lump of Stupid or Two, Grandpa Walnuts?

Poor Grandpa Walnuts, he stepped on his dick again:

Wednesday, Santorum Will Be On Everyone’s Lips

2016 Goat Rodeo

rick-santorum-busy-fist

That frothy mix of lube and fecal matter Rick Santorum is expected to announce his entry into 2016 Goat Rodeo on Wednesday.

Stealing his thunder, much-loathed former NY Governor George Pataki saddles-up a goat on Thursday.

And next weekend, Rodham-Clinton and Sanders get a little more competition as former Maryland Gov. Martin O’Malley enters the Dim’s race.

Memorial Day 2015

On the very far north edge of my neighborhood (Capitol Hill in Seattle), on the other side of Volunteer Park, there is the famous Lake View Cemetery where one can find the graves of martial arts film star Bruce Lee and his son Jason. But few people go just a bit further where there is a small specialized cemetery for veterans of the Civil War, The Grand Army of the Republic Cemetery. There are about 500 graves there, including at least one Medal of Honor recipient and some veterans of the U.S. Colored Troops, which according to the signage were Union regiments made up of African American soldiers and white officers.

I would wager that most Seattleites don’t know about this place, given the Pacific Northwest being as far removed from the Civil War as one can get in the lower 48; Washington was not a state until 1889, and yet here in a tiny corner of modern, major US city is a reminder that the Civil War was here, too.

I mention this because Memorial Day was initially started following the Civil War, wherein people visited the graves and cleaned them up out of respect for the fallen, and over time it has become generalized and confused with Veterans Day. Memorial Day is supposed to be about remembering our war dead; Veterans Day is giving thanks to our Vets. It’s a fine distinction and one we should not forget.

For most of us Memorial Day marks the beginning of summer, outdoor parties, and grilled food; I’m told it marks when ladies can wear white shoes in public, too, though I don’t understand these rules well. Retailers use Memorial Day to discount slow moving items (almost always relating to summer), which seems like a strange way to remember those who died while wearing a uniform.

But I digress, and so back to The Grand Army of the Republic Cemetery we go. For a long while the cemetery languished and creeping vegetation obscured the graves, and allegedly at some point it was proposed to be used as an off-leash dog park; that final insult is what got the cemetery cleaned up.

The Veterans Administration has replaced missing headstones that disappeared during the long, untended years and others that have worn away after 100+ years of exposure.

Today, when I walked past to pay my respects I noticed that someone had raised the flag.

Petunia And Pals Wins The Morning!

And once again, the Petunia and Pals C-team (Where’s Tucker when they need him?) shows their stuff:

Honest to blog, Fox employee Lt. Col. Ralph Peters (Ret.) really said that the Kenyan Usurper is a liar and doesn’t understand much of anything, including the Constitution.

That’s pretty extraordinary for anyone in the military—even retired—to call a sitting Commander-in-Chief a liar, and that he did it on Memorial Day is really an affront to decorum.