Claim Chowder: Immigration Civil War?

Engrish as a second language

Hey guys, remember how Y’all Qaeda and Wingnuttia were telling us that The Kenyan Usurper Barack HUSSEIN Obama was firing the first shots in a civil war by taking executive action on immigration?

President Obama’s looming executive action on immigration reform represents a Fort Sumter-type moment, according to conservative icon Phyllis Schlafly. Schlafly at first considered comparing the Obama amnesty to the Japanese attack on Pearl Harbor but decided that Obama’s plan is much more subtle. “With Pearl Harbor, the American people knew what was happening,” she said.
But Fort Sumter, where the opening shots of the Civil War were fired, represented the beginning of a ruinous conflict, and Schlafly, like fellow conservative luminary Richard Viguerie, speculates that an executive amnesty might touch off a sort of modern-day conflagration.

–Ancient hate goblin Phyllis Schlafly

“What protects us in America from any kind of ethnic cleansing is the rule of law, of course,” Kobach responded. “And the rule of law used to be unassailable, used to be taken for granted in America. And now, of course, we have a president who disregards the law when it suits his interests. So, while I normally would answer that by saying, ‘Steve, of course we have the rule of law, that could never happen in America,’ I wonder what could happen. I still don’t think it’s going to happen in America, but I have to admit, things are strange and they are happening.”

Kris Kobach, professional hater and Kansas Secretary of State (same thing? Yes)

“Obama is making a powerful and dangerous symbolic declaration to large Spanish media audiences today comparing his new immigration orders to the violent Mexican revolution and civil war!” said William Gheen, President of ALIPAC. “Obama is timing his move to thwart the American public’s voice in Congress to coincide with Mexican Revolution Day and the Ferguson verdict while CBS, ABC, and NBC will keep most US citizens oblivious tonight!”

William Gheen, President of ALIPAC (I especially like his notion that Nov. 20 is Mexican Revolution Day is significant. It is also former Ambassador John Bolton’s birthday, so I guess two can play at that game.)

It seems that they might have been wringing their hands unnecessarily because by dawn’s early light, I see no wars (racial or otherwise) flaring up.

Anyway, I look forward to days, if not weeks, of Republican outreach to the Latino community. Heh.

The Morning Quote

Meet Nevada Assembly Speaker-elect Ira Hansen as he tells us one more thing he knows about the negro:

In an attack on public education and teacher unions, Hansen wrote, “The Democratic coalition would split asunder if the NAACP & co. actually promoted what black Americans truly desire—educational choice. The shrewd and calculating [black] ’leaders’ are willing to sacrifice the children of their own race to gratify their lust for power and position. The relationship of Negroes and Democrats is truly a master-slave relationship, with the benevolent master knowing what’s best for his simple minded darkies. For American blacks, being denied choice and forced to attend the failing and inferior government school system is a form of involuntary servitude. Let’s call it what it truly is—educational slavery.”

He seems nice.

(Reno News and Review via LiveWire)

Here’s Your Happy Hour Stupid, On the Rocks

News that will drive you to drink

baby  sitting my way

Janet Porter’s long still-born heartbeat bill just made it’s way out of committee (once they replaced legislators who would vote against it with those who would support it) in Ohio:

A bill to ban abortions in Ohio once a fetal heartbeat is detected passed a House committee this morning, after the panel was altered to help ensure passage.

The bill passed 10-6 on a party-line vote with Democrats, including Rep. Mike Curtin of Marble Cliff, voting against it.

Prior to the morning hearing of the House Health and Aging Committee, some expected Republican “no” votes were removed, replaced with members who would support the legislation.

The President’s Immigration Speech

No Amenty teabagger

You can watch the speech at 8PM eastern at the White House website.

And I’m sure you can watch the reaction to it on the networks, 100% of whom refused to carry it. Here’s a preview of the reaction:

Teabaggery Signs

secdee!

Libety or Tranny

tea-bag-sign

Your Daily Gohmert

gohmert

“But if we’re funding everything he wants except for certain items that are his little pet piece or saying, like, we’re not going to fund any more golf outings or any more trips, vacations where he and his family travel on different planes. Just things in America go, really Mr. President, you can keep the government running and yet you’re the one saying, ‘No I want my golf outings, I want my czar for this and my czar for that,’ really, you will shut down the government over that?”

Screwie Louie threatening to shut down the gubmint over golf.

Some Stupid For Your Coffee?

This morning’s Aspertame comes to us via World Nut Daily, with ancient hate goblin Phyllis Schlafly.

President Obama’s looming executive action on immigration reform represents a Fort Sumter-type moment, according to conservative icon Phyllis Schlafly.

Schlafly at first considered comparing the Obama amnesty to the Japanese attack on Pearl Harbor but decided that Obama’s plan is much more subtle.

“With Pearl Harbor, the American people knew what was happening,” she said.

But Fort Sumter, where the opening shots of the Civil War were fired, represented the beginning of a ruinous conflict, and Schlafly, like fellow conservative luminary Richard Viguerie, speculates that an executive amnesty might touch off a sort of modern-day conflagration.

The Networks Deal With It

The Death of the Media, Cont.

Deal With It

None of the broadcast networks plan to televise the live announcement of whatever the White House is announcing:

The White House is exasperated with the major broadcast networks – ABC, CBS and NBC — for skipping out on President Barack Obama’s Thursday primetime address on his executive actions on immigration.

“In 2006, Bush gave a 17 minute speech that was televised by all three networks that was about deploying 6000 national guard troops to the border. Obama is making a 10 minute speech that will have a vastly greater impact on the issue. And none of the networks are doing it. We can’t believe they were aggrieved that we announced this on Facebook,” a senior administration official told POLITICO.

And their reasoning?

“There was agreement among the broadcast networks that this was overtly political. The White House has tried to make a comparison to a time that all the networks carried President Bush in prime time, also related to immigration [2006]. But that was a bipartisan announcement, and this is an overtly political move by the White House.”

And also they are not showing it because, you know, he’s black. But I’m only guessing.

We keep saying this: We must reform the media before we can reform the rest of our broken politics. If you cannot get your message out, the rest is academic.

Awaiting a Boycott

liza-minnelli-gay-marriage

Proctor and Gamble have announced their support of Marriage Equality:

For the first time in its history, Procter & Gamble is openly supporting same-sex marriage.

The Cincinnati-based consumer products giant says it embraced gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender employees for more than 20 years. Now, the company says same-sex marriage has become an important enough issue to its workers that it is taking a public stand.

All the usual suspects that call for boycotts of products, services, entertainment are sure to react as P&G is one of the largest household brands. We’ve long kidded that Y’all Qaeda was going to end up living in a mud hut wearing rags and today’s announcement brings that bit of snark closer to truth.

We’ll monitor the reaction today and update as needed.

How Apologies Should Be Made

I avoided the story that led to this apology because I don’t think of rape as something to be snarky about. Lemon made an ass out of himself, was raked over the coals in the social media, and has now apologized, and I think it was sincere.