Some Fries With Your Stupid?

AFA Jeebus

AFA Jeebus

The poor, persecuted, and put-upon Xristian Xrazies are preparing for the end:

All together, Scissorheads: “Get off the cross, we need the wood.”

The Bigotry Map that Sandy Rios mentions is a copy-cat reaction to the Southern Poverty Law Center’s long-standing Hate Map, which oddly includes the American Family Association on it. The AFA has been shrieking loudly that they are not a hate organization, just because they hate on the ‘mos.

Tour-de-Derp: The CPAC Schedule Is Out

It's CPAC time!

It’s CPAC time!

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As many of you know, the CPAC hatenanny is this weekend, and at last the schedule is available. Here are a few highlights:

  • Reclaiming the Dream: Millenials Look Toward Their Future

    Seriously: the panel features Senator Ben Sasse (b. 1972)

  • Common Core: Rotten To The Core

    On the panel: they are going to wheel out ancient hate goblin pessary Phyllis Schlafly

  • Hacking Facebook and Twitter

    Social Media: how does it work? What is this thing called “humor”?

  • Inventing to Nowhere, sponsored by Citizens United

    ‘Nuff said.

  • The Conservative Replacement to Obamacare

    They literally have scheduled 20 minutes for this.

  • A Salute to Veterans

    Featuring famous animal husbandry enthusiast Joni Ernst and Iran-Contra thrice-convicted felon Oliver North

Anyway, I cannot read much more because I’m gaffawing and my neighbors are looking to see if there is a clear escape route to the door. It’s a Tour-de-Derp and should provide much amusement this weekend.

One Lump of Stupid, or Two

The Young Republicans finally get laid.

Somewhere, Darwin is smiling as the GOP finds their idealogical mates.

So PPP has a new poll (fair warning: it’s a PDF) that shines a bright light on the brain trust that is the modern Republican, and while we probably could have saved them a few Amero$ and told them that there are certain cheese moulds with a greater collective IQ, the actual numbers are a fascinating look into the party that brought Alaska’s part-time governor and full-time grifter to the nation’s stage. Here’s a few excerpts:

Q1 Do you have a favorable or unfavorable opinion of George W. Bush?
Favorable ……………………………………………….. 74%
Unfavorable ……………………………………………. 21%
Not sure …………………………………………………. 5%

Q3 Do you have a favorable or unfavorable opinion
of Jeb Bush?
Favorable ……………………………………………….. 40%
Unfavorable ……………………………………………. 29%
Not sure …………………………………………………. 30%

They like Chimpy better than NotChimpy? Oh man, Jeb is really screwed if the man who told us that  “You teach a child to read, and he or her will be able to pass a literacy test,” is polling that poorly.

(Republicans) Given the choices of Jeb Bush, Ben Carson, Chris Christie, Ted Cruz, Mike Huckabee, Rand Paul, Rick Perry, Marco Rubio, and Scott Walker, who would you most like to see as the GOP candidate for President in 2016?
Jeb Bush………………………………………………… 17%
Ben Carson …………………………………………….. 18%
Chris Christie ………………………………………….. 5%
Ted Cruz ………………………………………………… 5%
Mike Huckabee ……………………………………….. 10%
RandPaul………………………………………………. 4%
Rick Perry ………………………………………………. 3%
MarcoRubio…………………………………………… 3%
Scott Walker …………………………………………… 25%
Someone else/Not sure ……………………………. 11%

On the bright side, Someone Else is polling better than Canadian-born latino and immigrant-hating southern white supremacist  Senator Ted Cruz

Q14 (Republicans) Do you consider yourself to be a
member of the Tea Party? Yes………………………………………………………… 27%
No …………………………………………………………. 60%
Not sure …………………………………………………. 12%

And like the Germans at the end of WWII, the Teabaggers have burned their uniforms (funny hats in this case? Yes.)

Q16 (Republicans) Do you believe in evolution or not?
Believe in evolution…………………………………..37%
Do not believe in evolution…………………………49%
Not sure …………………………………………………. 13%

And evolution doesn’t believe in you, either.

Q17 (Republicans) Would you support or oppose establishing Christianity as the national religion?
Support establishing Christianity as the national religion………………………………………..57%
Oppose establishing Christianity as the national religion………………………………………..30%
Not sure …………………………………………………. 13%

Y’all Qaeda Lives!

The Morning Quote: Suit-up, Aaron, it’s show time!

Aaron Schock has a turquoise belt in white privilege.

Aaron Schock has a turquoise belt in white privilege.

Tiger Beat on the Potomac (thanks Charlie!) reports that Fashion-forward Rep. Aaron Schock (R- Lindsey Graham’s Closet) has lawyered-up (but doesn’t want to present it that way? Yes.):

“After questions were first raised in the press, Congressman Schock took the proactive step of assembling a team to review the compliance procedures in his official office, campaign and leadership PAC,” a spokesman said. “The purpose of the review is to identify any areas that need improvement and to assist with designing and implementing any changes. The congressman takes his compliance obligations seriously, which is why he took this proactive step to review these procedures.”

But his staff declined to answer more detailed questions about his activities.

Put what activities could there be?

According to the documents, Schock flew from Washington to London’s Heathrow Airport on June 16, 2011. He was joined by Shea Ledford, a longtime friend who is now on Schock’s payroll as a district special assistant.

Schock attended the Royal Ascot, a world-famous steeplechase, followed by drinks with then-U.S. Ambassador to England Louis Susman and his wife. He also was slated to visit Moss Bros. on Regent Street, one of the most famous men’s clothing stores in Europe, according to his schedule.

Schock also participated in a Patron Dinner at the posh members-only club Annabel’s and was invited to formal dinners at Windsor Castle and Buckingham Palace.
Schock missed two days of votes during the trip.

Well, traveling to see a longtime friend, being seen at Royal Ascot (like Miss Hepburn in My Fair Lady), cunning drinkies with a well-connected donor-class ambassador, and then some couture tailoring, followed by fab dinners with another, lesser queen all seem like legitimate expenses for a 31-year old trick Republican representative from Peoria.

Politico previously had an article detailing some of Schock’s trips and expenses that gives a good background in how to game the system for fun and profit.

More News From The Front: The War On Women, Cont.

Ancient hate goblin pessary Phyllis Schlafly explains why we should limit the number of women who go to college, you know, so the woman who do go to college can earn their Mrs. Degree?

More Please

cowboy-carebearI am returning herewith without my approval S. 1, the”Keystone XL Pipeline Approval Act.” Through this bill, the United States Congress attempts to circumvent longstanding and proven processes for determining whether or not building and operating a cross-border pipeline serves the national interest.

 

The Presidential power to veto legislation is one I take seriously. But I also take seriously my responsibility to the American people. And because this act of Congress conflicts with established executive branch procedures and cuts short thorough consideration of issues that could bear on our national interest — including our security, safety, and environment — it has earned my veto.

Some Fries With Your Stupid?

teabagging for jeebus

Republicans in Tennessee grab the bull by the tail and bravely face the situation of creeping Sharia:

Attorney General and Reporter – As introduced, [SB1040] requires the attorney general and reporter to report to the department of justice that a no-go zone exists within political subdivisions of the state; requires the attorney general to take all necessary steps to eliminate the no-go zone to enforce compliance with state and federal law. – Amends TCA Title 38, Chapter 3.

But you know, Tennessee’s No-Go Zones law have nothing to do with Muslims. Don’t know how you got that impression.