“Some Say,” Some Said

The 2016 Goat Rodeo!

The 2016 Goat Rodeo!

Tiger Beat on the Potomac (thanks Charlie!) breathlessly tells us that Smilin’ Joe Biden might be in The 2016 Goat Rodeo! It’s another one of their patented, unsourced, middle-school gossip stories:

TRUTH BOMB – BEARISH ON BIDEN: Visitors to Vice President Biden say their conversations suggest he’s leaning TOWARD a run. A confidant involved in the process told Playbook: “Nothing he has heard in the past couple of months has deterred him.” But several friends are making a last-minute plea to him NOT TO DO IT. Their message to the V.P.: With the likely outcome of a race against Hillary Clinton (a beat-down), that’s just not what he needs after what he and his family have been through.

Super-close sources tell us the most likely scenario is a family decision NEXT WEEKEND or shortly thereafter, with an announcement (or calls by the Vice President to confidants) possible a week from today — which happens to be the day before the first Democratic debate. If the decision is a “go,” the announcement could be delayed as confidantes begin assembling a campaign.

A former Senate colleague said after visiting the V.P. recently: “He loves what he does, and he has a great deal of confidence that he could contribute in a meaningful way. He’s willing to face, ultimately, having his final political expedition be a defeat.”

But three friends who have talked to Biden said they hope he won’t go. One said he believes that testing the waters has been its own therapy after Biden’s loss of his son – the V.P. has been showered with love and attention, and should declare victory and avoid a likely political debacle. Another said the long windup – and the fact that no staff has been hired — tells its own story: “If you’re going to run, you run. Every time he pushes back a decision, that’s the ultimate tell.”

A third said: “I can’t see how he can wake up one morning and think some big tidal wave sweeps him in. The raw politics just aren’t there.” Friends and advisers are split on what he’ll do. “That’s Joe Biden,” one of them said. “He could talk to someone on a rope line tomorrow, and decide to do it. His emotional state just increases his unpredictability.”

Until or unless someone is willing to go on record, then all this is idle speculation and gossip, which is Politico’s stock in trade. Say, did MPS just win the morning? Some Say Yes!

(Politico’s morning email thingie)

Important 2016 Goat Rodeo Update from ¡JEB! The Smartest Bush®

Baby step goat

The flailing campaign of ¡JEB! The Smartest Bush® is considering having Chimpy or Babs-the-Impaler campaign for him.

In the open.

During daylight.

Get Off The Cross, We Need The Wood (part infinity)

Jeebus weeps

Jeebus weeps

What is up with Kentucky? Why There?

“Casey County Clerk Casey Davis and Whitley County Clerk Kay Schwartz also stopped issuing marriage licenses because of their religious opposition to gay marriage.

“Now, Schwartz says she is granting licenses to “bride and groom” couples – and claims she never stopped issuing them – but will not provide the same services to same-sex couples.

“Schwartz was not interested in talking with us on camera about her office’s policies on issuing marriage licenses.

“Her deputies also refused to comment.

“Off camera, Schwartz told us she still refuses to issue licenses to same-sex couples.”

So far no same-sex couple has applied for a license so neither county is being sued. So this is a pre-emptive martyring? Yes.

The Quotable Huckabee

Mike (Gomer) and Jetherine (the Gomerette) Huckabee

Mike (Gomer) and Jetherine (the Gomerette) Huckabee

“We have not so much a gun problem, we have a problem with sin and evil.”

That’s quite an agenda you’re running on, Gomer. Now take your words and put them into action…

Josh Duggar

One Lump of Stupid or Two, Rand Paul?


Schrödinger’s Candidate Rand Paul, the physics-defying man on all sides of all issues all at once, opens his poorly attended Kentucky meeting with, “it is an exciting day to be a Republican in Kentucky.”

About 50 people attended the rally.

The Fever Dreams of Jason Chaffetz


Flying Elephant

The Wingnuttian War On Wingnuts is taking an interesting turn, as the Pride of Utah and failed would-be secret agent Jason Chaffetz throws his hat into the ring to be the next Speaker of the House.

“There are very few people who can win the support of our hardcore conservatives and yet be palatable to our more moderate members. The question is who can help unite the party and bridge the divide and I hope they see me as the person that will give everyone a fair shake…

“We need a speaker who speaks. We lose the communication war time and time again, and I think the conference wants a proactive communicator.”

The reported front runner, Kevin McCarthy, earlier this week admitted on the electric teevee machine that the benghazi, Benghazi, BENGHAZI!!1! hearings were a sham and a delusion cooked up to bring scandal to the campaign of Hillary Clinton. While many have panned that performance, some of us think it was a tactical move on McCarthy’s part, directed to the rabid nuts in the house to show them that he is one of them.

Popcorn, anyone?

Popcorn, anyone?

Chaffetz is going to have to up the ante over the next month to prove he’s both more conservative and more likely to burn down the house. Let’s see what nutjobery he throws down, and in the meanwhile…

Your Bottomless Mimosa of Stupid is Served, Petunia

Petunia and Pals weekend B-Team (and that ought to scare you), led by hebephrenic TeeVee Dinner heir and vanity press owner Tucker Carlson tells us that, yeah, Australia has no gun violence because they have no freeeeeeeeedumb!

And then for good measure ads that Australians can go to jail for “expressing unpopular opinions,” which seems to be some sort of jab at Australia’s Hate Speech laws, which by the way, are working really well, too.

NRO Rescues ¡JEB! The Smartest Bush® From Himself!

The Pantheon of Dunces

"If I... Were KING... of the Forrrrrrrrrrrrest!"

“If I… Were KING… of the Forrrrrrrrrrrrest!”

NRO, the intellectually dishonest rest stop on the information super highway, sees that ¡JEB! The Smartest Bush® is being savaged by the elite liberal press for his imbecilic “Stuff Happens” quote, and Ian Tuttle has a post up defending him: No, Jeb Bush Did Not ‘Shrug Off’ the Oregon Shooting:

“Even for those of us who track it on a daily basis, the rank dishonesty of the press can be astonishing. Friday’s leftwing feeding-frenzy comes courtesy of Jeb Bush’s Q&A at the Conservative Leadership Project in Greenville, S.C. This ABC News headline is representative: “Jeb Bush Says ‘Stuff Happens’ in Response to Gun Violence.”

“Naturally, not just ABC News, Politico, and the like are running with the story, but so are bastions of intellectual scrupulosity, such as Mother Jones and Salon.”

Woe to thee, liberal elites, this Tuttle is on to you, and is galloping full throttle to defend the Prince Regent of Wingnuttia! Anyway, he gives us the full quote that will exonerate ¡JEB! from sounding like an uncaring foof, inheritor of the silver tongue of Poppy, kind-hearted Babs-the-Impaler, and brother of master uniter and undivider Chimpy:

We’re in a difficult time in our country, and I don’t think more government is necessarily the answer to this. I think we need to reconnect ourselves with everybody else. It’s very sad to see. But I resist this notion — and I had this challenge as governor — look, stuff happens, there’s always a crisis, and the impulse is always to do something, and it’s not necessarily the right thing to do.

Well, that changes everything, dinnit?

And just to prove his point, our man Tuttle gives us a longer clip, not the succinct one. First, let’s look at the succinct 9-second clip:

And now, let’s see the damning 58-second clip, most of which is the rambling question that leads ¡JEB! to give his brave, brave response:

Ha! Take that, liberals!

But then, we always come to the denouement, the coup de grace as it were that is the NRO signature style!

“Bush was hardly shrugging. But it doesn’t much matter. The New Yorker’s Ryan Lizza, who first ripped the quote out of its very relevant context, waited 46 minutes before tweeting out Bush’s full remarks, during which time the clipped version spread widely.”

Tuttle gets it right, he wasn’t shrugging, ¡JEB! was slumping. Just like in all the polls.

Saturday Open Tabs

books.jpgOur sometimes recurring feature of (somewhat) longer reads I’ve kept open in tabs this week. Not necessarily political, though pretty much everything always is…

  • Playboy – THE BATTLE OVER THE WORST MOVIE EVER – if you are a fan of MST3K (and if not, why not?), then you probably have already seen Manos, the Hands of Fate. Here’s the story behind the story and why it might not be shown ever again.
  • Truthdig – A ‘Yelp’-Style App for Rating People Is Coming, and It’s Absolutely TerrifyingBrand You just became a real thing if this app is real.
  • Re/Code – Twitter Plans to Go Beyond Its 140-Character Limit – one of the best/worst things about Twitter is how it forces you to be succinct. Brevity is the art of wit (something we try to practice around here, plus I’m clearly a bit ADD), so I’m not sure if this is a good idea or not.
  • Bloomberg Business – TV Ads Are About to Get Personal With New Targeting Tools – Advertisers have long dreamed of being able to put an ad in front of a micro-targeted set of eyes. Thanks to Big Data and that set top box, it’s about to happen.
  • Dave Pell at Medium – News Is Different – We’ve long said that the world needs journalists, but not necessarily newspapers, and we cheekily report on The Death of the Media. But what if there was no news? Here’s a taste:

    It’s hard to feel sorry for the news organizations that have utterly failed to pay enough attention to the top story of a generation. It’s one thing to bury the lede. It’s another to allow it to bury your industry.
    But if you can’t feel sorry for news orgs, then at least feel sorry for yourself. Because news really is different.

“You Can’t Explain That!” – Redoux

Ben ‘Copernicus’ Carson is not a scientist, just an observer. He confuses the weather for climate, and feels that micro-evolution (natural selection ?) will change us to help us to adapt to climate change every 50 years, because we cannot explain gravity or why the earth spins on its axis.

But I’m only paraphrasing.