Some Fries With Your Stupid, Dinesh?

D’vorce D’spousa, documentarian fabulist, convicted felon, fired Y’all Qaeda business school dean, and would-be bigamist, looks thoughtfully over the horizon at the Pacific Ocean and tells us…

Oh really? Hillary is a white hag? Isn’t that (gasp!) reverse racism and full-on sexism and ageism? Slamming night schools when you were once a boutique bidness school dean? I don’t think rebuttals are your strong suit, D’Vorce D’Spousa.

It takes a master filmmaker to go with the bold choice of staring across a golf course (or whatever that resort is) to tell us that the Republican Party is the party of the people.

Save The Date!

Breaking 2016 Goat Rodeo News!

Breaking 2016 Goat Rodeo News!

Tiger Beat on the Potomac (thanks Charlie!) breathlessly tells us via their email thingie that Scott Walker, the wall-eyed git hired by the Koch Brothers to enrich their midwest fortune, will announce his entry into the 2016 Goat Rodeo on Monday, July 13:

EXCLUSIVE — From Walker aides — MKE or bust: “After hearing from countless Americans during the Testing the Waters phase, Governor Walker this morning will file his papers of candidacy with the FEC. Governor Walker will announce his intentions in Waukesha on the afternoon of Monday, July 13th.”

And of course, Marketing Mike Allen who writes this thing has to include a plug for himself:

–FLASHBACK – Playbook, June 14: “PLAYBOOK FORECAST: Most likely Scott Walker announcement date is Mon., July 13.”

Same Bat-time and same Bat-channel, kids:

–HAPPENING TONIGHT: “Walker … will issue on Instagram the first of nine pieces of the Walker for president logo. Each day a new piece will be revealed @scottwalker.”

Oh, I can hardly wait.

The Morning Quote

Get Off The Cross Someone Needs The Wood

The wingnut mind at work

The wingnut mind at work

Today’s pontificating poltroon is the Pride of Iowa, ol’ Cantaloupe Calves hisself, Steve King, rhapsodizing on impeaching the Supreme Court, you know, for doing their job:

“That provision does exist, and let’s hear what the public has to say,” he added. “If that were put up before me today, and I think I mentioned Ginsburg and Kagan as being two that had been conducting same-sex marriages on their spare time and did not recuse themselves, I would put up the vote to remove them from office. And I’d like to see that case heard again and it would come down four-to-three and it in the end it would come back to the states for that decision, where it should be. But I don’t know if the public is ready for that.”

I suppose following Rep. King’s legal theory then all SCOTUS Justices who have conducted marriages (or participated in a marriage?) should be impeached for not recusing themselves? Of course, King has rationally, unemotionally, called for abolishing civil marriage altogether:

That’ll teach the ‘mos!

One Lump of Stupid or Two, Conservatives?

Bad Ads, Cont.

Wedding Bell Blues, Maggie Gallagher

Wedding Bell Blues, Maggie Gallagher

Not since unwed mother and founder of the National Organization for Marriage Maggie Gallagher’s auteur, ground-breaking work on the Gathering Storm anti-marriage equality ad have we seen an ad as ham-handed and out of step with american society as the conservative nonprofit group Catholic Vote’s new Not Alone ad:

Adweek reports:

“About halfway through this two-and-a-half-minute film from conservative nonprofit the Catholic Vote, its treacly, overly stylized message becomes clear. These Catholics are nervous about revealing their stance on same-sex marriage because they’re (spoiler alert!) against it.

“That stance is nothing new. And everyone is entitled to their opinion, as long as it doesn’t lead to legislation that discriminates. No, what’s galling about the ad is its appropriation of LGBTQ themes to marginalize LGBTQ people.

“The ad, with a straight face, position Catholics as a persecuted group for not having their message of intolerance (here blatantly recast as its opposite) widely accepted these days. It even plays like a coming-out video for Catholics who are afraid to take the “brave” step of voicing their objection to equality. That’s a pretty audacious tactic—disingenuous and disrespectful, to say the least.”

It takes some brass to try to reposition the institutional bigotry of conservative Catholics to be the victim of oppression. So where’s the mass movement to oppress and deny Catholics their rights?

But thankfully, as Adweek let’s us know, there is already a parody ad, Not Alone:

Bad Packaging, Cont.

Cutter

What are the parents doing to BettyLou Who?

(Hat tip: Scissorhead Paleo)

News That Will Drive You To Drink

Mike (Gomer) and Jetherine (the Gomerette) Huckabee

Mike (Gomer) and Jetherine (the Gomerette) Huckabee

Mike Huckabee, the 2016 Goat Rodeo Contender best known to Spitballers far and wide as Uncle Sugar, has discovered black people! Who knew?! BuzzFeed, that’s who!

“People are saying, ‘Well, churches shouldn’t have a tax-exempt status. A Christian school or a university should not have a tax-exempt status, shouldn’t be able to let students come on Pell Grants.’ Because if you equate same-sex marriage to a civil right—,” Huckabee said on a local radio station in Baton Rouge, interrupting himself to make his case against the comparison.

“First of all,” Huckabee said, “what an insult to African-Americans, who were hosed in the street, who were beaten, who were truly discriminated against with separate restrooms, separate drinking fountains, separate entrances. That was true discrimination and it was horrible. It’s hard to say that the redefinition of marriage is on the same basis as was racial discrimination throughout our history.”

Pretty amazing considering last week he told us that there was no racism, just people who needed to be converted to Jeebus.

Petunia and Pals Serves Your 3-Martini Stupid

The Other Stupid One tells us that all of our laws come from The Ten Commandments. I like the way the guest tells us that he and his wife home schooled their children and taught them to recite the names of the Presidents and Oklahoma Governors, because: Why Not?

This is like watching a couple of two year olds on a play date just babbling whatever comes to mind.

A Trump Question For The 2016 Goat Rodeo Contenders

Short-fingered vulgarian Donald Trump

Short-fingered vulgarian Donald Trump

I hate making this obvious comment, but why is it the case that none of 2016 Goat Rodeo contenders have weighed in on Donald Trump’s incendiary statements about immigrants, in which he essentially called all hispanic immigrants criminals and rapists?

Trumps comments led to him being fired from NBC Universal, Univision has dropped his Miss Universe Pagent, Mexico is also pulling out of the pagent, and just this morning Macy*s severed their relationship with him.

So riddle me this Senators Cruz and Rubio: why no statement on Trump’s comments? ¡JEB! the Smartest Bush®, since you claim to be an honorary Latino, what about you?

We Don’t Serve Your Kind

Jeebus weeps

Jeebus weeps

Here we go again:

‘No Gays Allowed,’ Grainger County store owner defends controversial sign

“WASHBURN (WATE) – A Grainger County store owner said he is simply voicing his freedom of religion and speech after posting a sign that has the community talking.”

“Phones at Amyx Hardware have been ringing non-stop after he posted a sign reading “No Gays Allowed” outside of his store in Washburn. “A lot of people have called me and congratulated me,” said owner Jeff Amyx. But other calls are on the other side of spectrum. “People calling and threatening me. Telling me I would regret this. No I’ll never regret this,” said Amyx.”

The thing with Free Speech is that no one can stop you from making a fool of yourself, but you have to be able to stand the consequences. You can proclaim proudly that you are a bigot, but you have to be prepared for the backlash (which is other peoples’ Free Speech).

The usual suspects who say that their religious freedoms are being stomped on are in the marriage industry, baking cakes, arranging flowers, operating venues, etc. I often wonder how ego-inflated a baker is to think that a cake is somehow participating in the ceremony, but a hardware store? Unless some form of religion calls for pipe-wrench wielding congregants I think Mr. Amyx is grandstanding and getting his GoFundMe glands salivating when his store is inevitably sued and shunned.

“I don’t hate people. It’s not the people I hate, it’s the sin that I hate.”

Could have fooled me. Amyx doesn’t even want to associate with gay people, it’s why he’s keeping them out of his store, which seems like a lousy way to say I love you. That’s hate.

“On Tuesday, Amyx took down the “No Gays Allowed” sign and put up a sign that reads “We reserve the right to refuse service to anyone who would violate our rights of freedom of speech and freedom of religion.”

As for impinging on Mr. Amyx’s religion (Amyx as you might have guessed is a Baptist preacher, too), I don’t understand: how does selling a pound of nails to some LGBT people do that, but then again I am not a theologian. I suspect a famous carpenter might be able to shed some light, and I’m not talking about Norm Abrams.

(WATE via Raw Story)

An Important Goat Rodeo Update From Cliven Bundy

Hitching a ride goatTiger Beat on the Potomac (thanks Charlie!) might actually have a scoop on their hands:

“Rand Paul met privately with Cliven Bundy on Monday, the Nevada rancher and anti-government activist told POLITICO.

“The encounter came after Bundy attended an event for the Kentucky senator’s presidential campaign at the Eureka Casino in Mesquite, Nevada. When the larger group dispersed, Bundy said, he was escorted by Paul’s aides to a back room where he and the Republican 2016 contender spoke for approximately 45 minutes…

“The Nevada rancher said that he had expected only to have an opportunity to shake hands with Paul and make small-talk. He was surprised when campaign aides found a private room and allowed Bundy, his wife and son to speak with the candidate for the better part of an hour.

“According to Bundy, the two mainly discussed federal land oversight and states’ rights, in addition to education policy — a theme Paul brought up in his speech.”

None of the news accounts I read yesterday mentioned that the two huddled after the public meeting. On the face of it, so what? But given the outsized, armed resistance to the Federal Government (and white separatists militiamen who cling to him) that Cliven Bundy represents, this is really kind of shocking that Rand Paul would meet with him at all, let alone privately.

UPDATE 1:

Why are the dogs barking, Rand?