Some Stupid For Your Coffee?

War on Women, Cont.

When supermodel Chrissy Teigen took to the Twitters and made a point about gun violence in the US compared to gun violence in Canada, it was too much for one Fox News host to bear:

“She should stay on Instagram. Chrissy Teigen is known for, obviously, her lovely bottom, and her food Instagram pictures. She should stick to that.”

–Mean Girls Fox News Host Andrea Tantaros quipped.

But it gets better as she displays some sisterly solidarity:

“This is the problem when models start to talk. They play into that dumb model stereotype. Because it’s too soon for her to weigh in. And also, conflate gun control, and crime in America with a global war against radical Islamic jihadism.”

Skirts. Whatcha gonna do, amiright?

Happy Hour News Briefs

News that will drive you to drink

Someone in L.A. needs to check on the big rock over St. Ronnie’s crypt to see if Crazy Unkka Pat is right.

  • BarbWire, the blog-like thingy of Matt Barber, the man who only thinks about hot, sweaty man-on-man sex with thighs like pistons that can pump all night, knows what women want:

    Women of America…it looks like more of you are finally listening to your intuition and that inner, God given ability to identify smooth talking liars. You finally realize that Obama is not making you feel safer and you trust Republicans more… Real women in America want freedom, God in charge; opportunity to thrive with their business ideas; a safe place to raise their children; schools that are reliable – protected from intruders and don’t rewrite history while pushing sex agendas. Women want our borders protected, radical Islam pushed back and fascist/Marxist/communist agendas destroyed. Real women want Christian values and morals leading in America again…not Islam, New world order or other socialist/communist bull rot… Real women in America want God fearing, Constitution and freedom loving servants serving in the HOUSE and SENATE. We are sick of the egomaniac who has taken over the White House. We demand that real men be real men…not this fake ‘metro-sexual’ garbage. Real men are not sound bite experts. They don’t say the perfect thing at the perfect time. They don’t always smell right, look right are [sic] act right but they 99,9% of the time do right. Women want men with integrity, grit, and courage and yes…honor who love right and fight right.

    Take THAT, all you false women!

  • And as long as we are over at BarbWire, we couldn’t help but notice that our old pal Coach Dave is now writing for them, you know, about gay stuff.

    …how can a lesbian get elected to the highest office in the city of Houston in the first place? If we are “not of this world” what does it matter? If the pastors in Houston are so hell-bent on following Romans 13, then why would they object to turning over copies of their sermons? Come on girls, turn over the evidence. Uncle Sam wants to see what you have been saying about him.

    I don’t know why they are worried. Most of them have not said a damn thing about lesbianism and the frontal assault on Christianity the homosexuals have been engaged in for the last three decades. How do I know? The mayor ran as an “out and proud” lesbian and got elected. Why would the pastors be surprised when she swings the strong sword of government against her enemies?

  • And that leads up to Mike ‘Uncle Sugar’ Huckabee, whom we are assured is saddling up for The 2016 Goat Rodeo! That is, if he can break away from Rupert Murdoch’s sweet, sweet money.

Today In Sedition

Ted-Cruz

Canadian-born latino and immigrant-hating southern white supremacist Senator Ted Cruz suggests to noted hate radio personality Steve Deace that people of faith should just ignore laws that they don’t agree with, especially those dealing with gay americans:

In Which Joni Earnst Makes Us Squeal

Queue up the theme from Deliverance, because IA Senate Candidate and animal husbandry enthusiast Joni Earnst has another interesting comment from her past which she will not explain:

“I have a beautiful little Smith & Wesson, 9 millimeter, and it goes with me virtually everywhere,” Ernst said at the NRA and Iowa Firearms Coalition Second Amendment Rally in Searsboro, Iowa. “But I do believe in the right to carry, and I believe in the right to defend myself and my family — whether it’s from an intruder, or whether it’s from the government, should they decide that my rights are no longer important.”

Look, that’s not even much of a veiled reference to kookie Sharon Angle’s famous Second Amendment Remedies. That really is claiming that anyone who feels so inclined has a right to violently overthrow the government. I think it is intended as a threat to, you know, those people (whoever they happen to be) that there will be retribution if patriots like Earnst don’t get their way.

Earnst has been conducting a campaign built upon her personality, very light on the specifics of what she proposes and so these revelations that keep popping up from 2012 need to be addressed. Earnst has helpfully decided to not have any press events between now and the election, so whatever is out there seems to be the record.

So we can now add insurrection to no abortions under any circumstances and hard money. What else has she got buried from the press?

The Unabridged Chris Christie

“Would you rather have Rick Scott in Florida overseeing the voting mechanism, or Charlie Crist? Would you rather have Scott Walker in Wisconsin overseeing the voting mechanism, or would you rather have Mary Burke? Who would you rather have in Ohio, John Kasich or Ed FitzGerald?”

–He actually said that out loud.

Some Fries With Your Stupid?

Far-away Eyes

“I’ll just say that what was a sin 2,000 years ago is a sin today, and people that were condemned to hell 2,000 years ago, I don’t expect to meet them should I make it to heaven.”

–Ol’ cantaloupe calves hisself, Steve King telling us that there will be no gayz in his gated community in heaven.

Bristolnacht, Cont. The UnBristling #PalinBrawl

bristol-the-nun

Alaskastan’s part-time governor and full-time grifter Sarah Palin’s daughter Brisket® decides, in print, to tell her side of what happened at Bristolnacht:

First, the media said Trig was not really my mom’s kid.

Then, they claimed my mom said “I can see Russia from my house.”

Recently, they said my parents are giving a divorce.

And now, they’re saying my family started a “drunken brawl.”

Thanks for the reminders. Say, your mom promised at one point to produce Trigg’s birth certificate… oh well. SNL is not the media. Your mother was the one who hinted a divorce was coming. There is a Police report (a legal document that can be introduced as evidence in a court of law) that indicates YOU started a drunken brawl.

Our friend got knocked out from a cheap shot from behind. (His injury resulted in ten stitches, so it was really low.)

Why would anyone do this? Well, here’s a hint. The guy was on social media during this incident, tweeting, “about to get famous.”

When Willow saw all this happening she looked at the guy’s mom and said “get ahold of your son.”

But apparently the apple didn’t fall too far from the tree, because his mom pushed Willow. A grown woman pushed my little sister.

By this point, I’d already gotten into the car. But when Willow ran to me crying, telling me that some lady had pushed her down, I got out of the car to go talk to her. Any big sister would do this.

It drones on and on, play-by-play.

All of this comes a day after the audio was released from the police interview with a very drunken Bristol, so the timing is both serendipitous and perhaps damning, too. Methinks given the love that the Palins engender means that those alleged and rumored cell phone videos and audio recording are gonna come like a wave.

McCain-celebration

And once again, we need to thank Grandpa Walnuts for bringing this family of grifters and waterheads to our attention, and potentially one very old heartbeat away from the nuclear codes.

Klingenschmitt Tells Us Who’s Going To Hell Today

Dr. “Chaps” Gordon Klingenschmitt (his nickname, not mine! I swear!), the Republican candidate for the Colorado General Assembly, for State Representative for House District 15, tells us that anyone who sells products or services to The Lavender Menace is going to Hell!

Some Stupid For Your Coffee?

baby  sitting my way

Alaska Rep. Don Young (Republican, but you could probably have figured it out on your own) continues his unseemly descent into unchartered territory as he continues to defend his previous unchartered comments about suicide (Emphasis mine)

[Suicide] is not a disease. It is an illness,” he continued. “Now a lot of times that illness should be recognized by a support group and it should be supported by the teachers that recognize this person has an illness. He needs help. Is it his parents or is it his friends who are not supporting him?”

The congressmen went on to say that there were less suicides when he first moved to Alaska because people worked hard, and didn’t take government handouts.

“When people had to work and had to provide and had to keep warm by putting participation in cutting wood and catching the fish and killing the animals, we didn’t have the suicide problem,” Young opined, adding that government handouts were “saying you are not worth anything but you are going to get something for nothing,”

So, suicide is an illness caused by goodness and charity, or there were no suicides until you got to Alaskastan, eh? Which is it Don?