Some Fries With Your Stupid?

Sharpest Pencil

I’m not going to make this a live link, but all you need to know is that this headline is from the Stupidist Man on the Internet, The Gateway Pundit hisself, Jim Hoft:

Breaking: ISIS Drops iPhones After Apple CEO Tim Cook Opens Up About Being Gay

The System Is Working

I read with some amusement at the NRO (the most intellectually dishonest rest stop on the Information Super Highway) that our elections are rife with fraudulent voters!

This month, North Carolina officials found at least 145 illegal aliens, still in the country thanks to the Obama administration’s Deferred Action for Childhood Arrivals program, registered to vote. Hundreds of other non-citizens may be on the rolls.

It bears repeating: North Carolina found them.

The entire intellectually dishonest article (which is of course a love sonnet to Captain Dildo) is filled with examples of how the system works. Each case that they report is one that was stopped in time by the safeguards that are in place.

The Wit and Wisdom of Senatorette Lindsey Graham

Scarlett: Sir, you are no gentleman. Rhett Butler: And you, Miss, are no lady.

Scarlett: Sir, you are no gentleman.
Rhett Butler: And you, Miss, are no lady.

“I’ve tried to help you with your tax status. I’m sorry the government’s so f—ed up. If I get to be president, white men in male-only clubs are going to do great in my presidency.”

One worries about the Re-branding, but one worries more about what kind of male-only club would have Huckleberry Closetcase.

Bad Presents, Cont.

soil

You know, if you get enough of Dracula’s soil, then he can spend the night, er, day with you!

(Hat tip: Scissorhead Mr. C. Montgomery Burns, who suggests a get rich quick scheme: sell vials of soil from St. Ronnie’s grave!)

Happy Hour News Briefs

News that will drive you to drink

Rev. Fishsticks thinks that one person dying of Ebola, and two healthcare workers who were cured is proof that The Kenyan Usurper wants to bring the Ebowlers Disease to the US, because he’s an anti-colonial reverse-racist.

  • One of the Frosted-Tips Twins is fighting against the scourge of the local Strip Club. Or he was there when Y’all Qaeda done showed up to protest? Anyway, the menfolk in that community have been going to “protest” the club once a week. Usually at happy hour? Sure, why not?
  • Duck of Hazzard’s Dynasty Duck Daddy says, “Vote Godly!” (meaning: vote for a white, Xristian, male?) Does anyone give a duck?
  • Coming to a Local Ballot Near You - Yes, the latest attempt at Personhood Amendments is to bring it hyper-local:

    WASHINGTON, Oct. 29, 2014 Our nation’s newest national prolife group, Personhood Alliance (PA), today announced a ground-breaking campaign to launch pro-life ballot initiatives at the county and municipal level across the country in 2015…

    “In 2012, we watched as activists attempted to amend the municipal code of the city of Anchorage through a citizen ballot initiative. Although they were unsuccessful at the polls, they generated a lot of debate on their issue. We look forward to not only generating debate, but also being able to press our advantage in rural communities,” said Christopher Kurka, Executive Director of Alaska Right to Life, a founding member of the Personhood Alliance.

    So… the county and city councils now think that they can nullify federal laws?

Hey, It’s Porn Week at Family Research Council

Spanking just liked dear old dad

Tony Perkins wants you to help him beat off the threat of porn:

This week marks the White Ribbon Against Pornography (WRAP) week. Sponsored by the Porn Harms Coalition (of which FRC is a member), WRAP is designed to “educate the public on the harms from pornography and the many resources available to aid those affected.” In addition to crippling the lives of the women and men who participate in it, pornography scars those who view it. It’s well documented that pornography objectifies women, hurts marriage, increases infidelity, and can be as addictive as any hard drug.

I always hate mentioning this, but I remember when Camille Paglia pointed out quite correctly that gay male porn does not objectify women, nor is it violence against women, so absolute statements do not apply.

Anyway, Ol’ Tony will help you rid yourselves of your spank banks. Just send it to him.

Some Fries With Your Stupid?

Jim Schneider of Voice of Christian Youth America, who seems a bit long in the tooth to be the spokesperson of Youth of any sort, has been thinking about pedophilia:

“Once you change that which is unchangeable, there’s no limit to how far you can go… What about an adult who says, ‘I want to marry this underage child. It’s discriminatory — I love this child, this child loves me, why can we not be married, that’s discriminatory.’”

Methinks Jim’s been thinking about pedo a little too much, if you know what I mean and I think you do.

Also, too: The blink of an eye? I cracked up at the 20-year blink.

Midday Palate Cleanser

jazz hands

Today is UberKITTENS:

TODAY – UBER IS DELIVERING KITTENS ON DEMAND IN 7 CITIES [Austin, Chicago, DC, New York, Phoenix, San Francisco, and Seattle]!

HOW IT WORKS:

  1. Open your Uber app between 12 pm & 4 pm.
  2. Request the “KITTENS” option in your app. In NYC or DC? Enter promo code kittensnyc or kittensdc to unlock the option in your app.
  3. Once the kittens arrive, you and your friends will get to enjoy 15 minutes of kitten cuteness! PRO TIP: Make sure to have an enclosed space purrrfect for playtime! In New York City, kittens can only be delivered to offices.
  4. The best part? In most cities, kittens are eligible for adoption.

Regular readers know that I am firmly a member of Team Dog, but that doesn’t mean I am anti-cat; cats just don’t happen to be dogs. Cats make terrific pets, and if you are so inclined, UberKITTEN is a wonderful way to donate $30 to the SPCA and get your kitten-on, and perhaps find the little furball of your dreams.

Chick Digs Scott Walker

Hey ladies of Wisconsinistan, wall-eyed git Gov.Scott Walker hasn’t forgotten you, which is why his campaign suddenly put out this ad, featuring a lady:

Walker’s Lt. Governor, Rebecca Kleefisch, is herself a lady (whoddathunkit?), and she’s insulted that everyone is making such a big deal out of that time when Walker repealed the state’s equal pay law.

Oops.

Kleefisch also wants you to know that workplace discrimination will always be illegal under a Walker administration, you know, just like abortion rights.

Oops.

Um, Kleefisch also wants you to know that, “We want to create more opportunities for women to succeed,” just like that time when Scott Walker tried to destroy Public Sector workers, notably the Teachers and Nurses unions (which are overwhelmingly female), but left alone the mostly male police and firefighters unions.

Oops.

Some Stupid For Your Coffee?

Fox News resident psychological consultant (who may or may not be certified (!) and licensed to practice), Keith Ablow, is calling for an American Jihad, you know, to create a world-wide American Caliphate.