The Barrel Scrapes Itself

carly-surreal_1

The National Journal speculates that iCarly “Fire ‘Em All Fiorina might be positioning herself to enter the 2016 Goat Rodeo:

The former Hewlett-Packard CEO and 2010 Senate candidate is hitting the campaign trail in the lead-up to Election Day for her new super PAC, teaching activists and politicians how to talk to female voters—and building herself a grassroots base in a half-dozen electorally important states in the process.

While her efforts are focused on helping the GOP win control of the Senate in November, political strategists say Fiorina is doing all the right things to prep for a 2016 bid. And the message she’s touting is a preview of the kind of role she could play, if she runs.

In case anyone has forgotten her doomed 2010 Senate Campaign (which was a very good year for the Republicans):

They Were Just Trying To Be Helpful

fat-cat

The Americans for Prosperity Koch Brothers (pronounced “coke”, just like Boehner is pronounced “bay-ner”) out of the goodness of their hearts want the people of North Carolina to register to vote and that’s why they sent out voter registration forms with instructions:

  • At the top, the form states voter registrations are due 30 days before an election to the State Board of Elections’ office. Below, in smaller type, it states the deadline is 25 days before the election.
  • The deadline to register to vote is actually 25 days before the general election, but people should send information to their county elections board, not the state board, Lawson said. If voters do send their information to the state board, it will be forwarded to the appropriate county board, Lawson said.

  • The first page also states people should return the registration to the N.C. Secretary of State’s office, though the envelope is addressed to the State Board of Elections.
  • It states the Secretary of State’s office has an elections division and can answer questions about registration.
  • The Secretary of State’s office does not handle elections, Lawson said, though other states do house their elections division within their secretary of state’s office. The form also gives the wrong phone number for the Secretary of State’s office – the number is actually for the State Board of Elections.

  • The form states that after voters mail in their information, they will be notified of their precinct by their local county clerk.
  • “There’s no county clerk that would do these things,” said Lawson. “It would come from the county board of elections or the elections director, under their signature.”

  • The registration form also includes the wrong ZIP code for the State Board of Elections. The ZIP code associated with the board’s post office box is 27611, and the board’s office ZIP code is 27603.

Oh, they also sent the forms addressed to people’s pets. You know that Fluffy wants to vote.

Bah!

I’ve been working on a Value Voter Summit cut-out-and-keep table for the past two days, only to learn that my hosted WordPress install doesn’t support tables anymore.

Is it too early to start drinking?

Rick Perry: Oops!

Rick Perry Guns and Sputter

Audit: Perry’s business fund gave millions to firms, universities that never sent an application

The 98-page report by the state auditor, released to lawmakers Thursday, paints a picture of a $500 million fund that, at least in its early years, gave away taxpayer money without a set evaluation process or a consistent criteria.

Early grants were awarded to companies or universities without their submitting formal applications, and some large projects were never required to create a single job — although that is the legislative mandate by which the fund was started.

Numerous contracts showed inconsistent requirements, weak compliance monitoring and led the auditor to state that it cannot verify many of the jobs or investments that were credited to the program.

Critics have complained that the Texas Enterprise Fund was a loosely controlled treasure trove for Perry to dole out state money to favored projects. The audit did little to dispel that.

But you guys, he’s a good Xristian secessionist, so you know, trust him.

(Hat tip: Scissorhead Karen Zipdrive)

Want Some Fries With Your Stupid?

“He didn’t enforce the laws on Obamacare,” Tantaros said. “He was droning terrorists without a trial while he was giving them trials in downtown Manhattan. He ran the DOJ much like the Black Panthers would. That is a fact.”

Goodbye, Eric Holder UPDATED

We learned today of the resignation of US AG Eric Holder:

Eric Holder Jr., the nation’s first black U.S. attorney general, is preparing to announce his resignation Thursday after a tumultuous tenure marked by civil rights advances, national security threats, reforms to the criminal justice system and 5 1/2 years of fights with Republicans in Congress.

Two sources familiar with the decision tell NPR that Holder, 63, intends to leave the Justice Department as soon as his successor is confirmed, a process that could run through 2014 and even into next year. A former U.S. government official says Holder has been increasingly “adamant” about his desire to leave soon for fear that he otherwise could be locked in to stay for much of the rest of President Obama’s second term.

Holder’s work on Civil Rights was outstanding, but he was also beholden to the status quo when it came to people with power: Holder never found a single person to prosecute for Wall Street’s criminal looting of the global economy, and never brought charges against the admitted war criminals of the Bush Administration.

I’m not sure we would notice the difference if he left today, which is probably a good thing: it is unlikely that the Republicans would approve a replacement, especially if they gain control of the Senate in 2014 as many pundits are predicting.

Paul Constant at the SLOG says it so much better than I ever could.

I didn’t have one single reaction upon reading this morning that Attorney General Eric Holder is resigning… Holder has a spotty record on civil liberties—he’s taken heat from both the left and the far right as an enemy of freedom of the press and a fearsome enforcer when it comes to whistleblowers. He let Wall Street and the big banks trample the middle class. He deserves all that criticism—Holder has done a lot to keep George W. Bush’s paranoid, power-obsessed America alive for another eight years—but he’s taken a lot of criticism that he doesn’t deserve, too. The New York Times, for instance, describes Holder as a “lightning rod” for “partisan venom,” which is a decidedly mixed metaphor that somehow works perfectly.

He’s also been a force for good. Holder has been a strong supporter of civil rights, gay marriage, and reduced prison time for nonviolent drug offenders. He’s been permissive of Washington and Colorado’s experiments with legalized marijuana. We just got an e-mail from Christian ninnies Morality in Media saying Holder’s resignation “can only give hope to those suffering the ravages of the pornography pandemic in America.” Anyone painting him as a faux-liberal is intentionally obscuring half the man’s record. Anyone trying to paint him as a strictly liberal politician is missing the point, too.

Beware The Ides of, um, November?

Weepy McDrunky

Even without Iago Eric Cantor plotting a coup against John Boehner, revolution is still fomenting!

“In tough times, it doesn’t mean you play timid, it means to play bold, and I don’t see that. And you know what? Time’s up,” Rep. Paul Gosar (R-Ariz.), who vowed to vote against Boehner, told The Hill in an interview. “I’m tired of the status quo of what’s going on in Washington, D.C. America’s tired, America’s angry and they’re scared, because they don’t have leaders in Washington, D.C.”

That’s quite a list of grievances you got there, Sparky.

Rep. Louie Gohmert (R-Texas) was more succinct: “I’ll give him every bit as much support as I did last time.”

Gohmert in 2013 was one of a dozen Republicans who didn’t support Boehner for Speaker. Ten of them will return to the next Congress and have a vote on Boehner’s future.

Oh, NOES! He’s lost Screwie Louie?!!1!

The article goes on to describe, well, sleeper cells in the Wingnuttian caucus. For safety sake, they don’t know about each other or how many there are.

In fact, [Rep. Walter Jones (R-N.C.)] acknowledged he didn’t even know who the members of the other groups were, though he said that was by design to avoid being targeted by the Speaker and his allies. At some point, however, these Boehner foes will have to step forward and “show they will stick together on a vote,” Jones said. Then, one of them can be offered up as a candidate… “You’ve got to have 20 to 25 committed people that are willing to cut their wrist,” Jones explained, “and if you’re not willing to cut your wrist, you’re not really committed.”

“And then we will play Legos and have graham crackers and a nap,” he did not conclude.