Peggington Noonington was for it before she was against it

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Bacardi Lifetime Achievement Winner Peggy Noonan is at odds with reality again:

Noonan and the civil war

By any definition, Nooners, Syria is already in a civil war.

Anyway, today’s column is another hot mess, essentially she channels her inner K-Lo and writes a mash note to the pacifist Pope, and seems to forget that in the ever-swirling, twirling mists of time (pre-happy hour? Yes.) that she was in favor of attacking it:

Mr. Assad is the first known leader to use chemical weapons since Saddam Hussein murdered his own people in the Kurdish city of Halabja in 1988. The Syrian attack violates red lines Mr. Obama personally laid down.

[snip]

Mr. Obama has strived mightily to avoid intervening in Syria, despite his repeated demands that Mr. Assad “must go.” The Administration’s U.N. gambit looks like one more way to avoid doing something it promised it would do if chemical weapons were used. Presidents who are exposed as bluffers tend to have their bluff called again and again, with ever more dangerous consequences.

News Briefs

News you can use all day

(Petunia and Pals) No such thing as a free lunch, even for starving American kids.

  • Texas, the island nation! - Emboldened by California’s Siskiyou County (perhaps?), Texas’s elected officials once again are talking about seceding:

    “We are uniquely situated because we have energy resources, fossil and otherwise, and our own independent electrical grid. Generally speaking, we have made great progress in becoming an independent nation, an ‘island nation’ if you will, and I think we want to continue down that path so that if the rest of the country falls apart, Texas can operate as a stand-alone entity with energy, food, water and roads as if we were a closed-loop system.”

    (Think Progress)

  • Money Well Spent? - The taxpayers of Pennsylvania are maybe paying at least 400 Ameros per hour to a private law firm to defend their anti-gay marriage laws:

    The law firm, Lamb McErlane PC of West Chester, is headed by William H. Lamb, a former state Supreme Court justice. The state will pay Lamp $400 an hour and his associates will earn $325 an hour. State lawyers will also be paid for working on the case.

    You could buy a lot of Birth Certificate research for that kind of cheddar. (Think Progress)

  • Still Friends? - Shellie Zimmerman, 26, wife of famous hunter of teen-aged boys George Zimmerman, has filed for divorce. The last time she left him, George went out a-hunting. (Raw Story)

Happy Hour News Briefs

News with a twist

Springfield, Illinois Bishop Thomas Paprocki: “No one handled child [sex] abuse cases better than the Catholic Church.” And boy, did they handle ‘em!

How to build a better Culture Warrior: A Wingnuttian Guide

BSA

World Nut Daily tells us of the demise of the Boy Scouts…

The recent decision by the 1,400 voting members of the Boy Scouts of America to allow gays into the Boy Scouts really was a shock to fathers across America who want to nurture, protect, teach and work alongside their sons in a godly way. A prior Supreme Court decision had confirmed that the bylaws of the BSA were lawful and constitutional, but a group within the organization has decided to rewrite the rules according to what they believed, in opposition to the law, truth and tradition. To believe that the downgrading of the Boy Scouts will stop here is to misjudge the homosexual agenda. The endgame at a minimum will require the acceptance of leaders who are openly homosexual.

Oh, NOES! Luckily, the dead Paul Weyrich anticipated such a day…

Paul Weyrich, now deceased, was a co-founding member of the Heritage Foundation who believed that there would come a time when politics would be abandoned in an effort to create a counterculture. In a Free Congress Foundation paper he wrotes [sic]:

“The reason, I think, is that politics itself has failed. And politics has failed because of the collapse of the culture. The culture we are living in becomes an ever-wider sewer. In truth, I think we are caught up in a cultural collapse of historic proportions, a collapse so great that it simply overwhelms politics.”

“Derp,” he did not add. So what has this to do with knot tying, one asks? Absolutely nothing, seems to be the answer:

The years it would take to correct the damage caused by one vote taken by the BSA this year would be monumental. Deep in the struggle, our young men would be growing up unattended, while parents fight a losing battle to save what was once the Boy Scouts of America. Countless amounts of money would be wasted battling in courts that are growing more and more liberal every day. What is truly needed is a new organization built on solid principles with bylaws that are stronger than those of the BSA which would allow godly families to begin a new chapter.

But what is a godly family to do?

On Sept. 6 and 7, 2013, a group temporarily named “On My Honor” will meet in Nashville, Tenn., to form such a group. Using the American Heritage Girls as a template for their organization, a new name, logo and branding will take place, as well as the development of new programs that will teach practical life skills with an emphasis on leadership and character. It will be clearly understood by all members that the context for sexual relations is between a man and a woman in the covenant of marriage.

Ah, onward Xristian Xrazie soldiers!

Perhaps this is the beginning of the Weyrich vision. We can change the program of society, but unlike the modern world, the remote control doesn’t work. We have to get off the seat and make an effort. It’s an investment of time, energy and patience. We will be scolded by those who love the darkness of sin, but the net result will be future culture warriors, our sons, who live in a light brighter than any neon screen. They walk in the truth – the only reality that matters.

And there in a nutshell you have it: the Xristian Xrazies wish they could use the clicker to change the world back to a happier, oppressive Ozzie and Harriet world (which never existed, by the way). Anything less is the darkness of sin. But in the meanwhile the results will be more culture warriors, which of course everyone wants.

News Briefs

News you can use all day

Honorary Scissorhead takes on Grandpa Walnuts

  • GOP Rebranding - Once again, we need to ask obvious anagram Reince Priebus (thank you Mr. Pierce) how that rebranding thing is going after Brad Dayspring, communications director for the National Republican Senatorial Committee, said Kentucky Secretary of State Alison Lundergan Grimes (D) is an “empty dress” who “babbles incoherently.” Grimes is running to unseat long time, amply-bechinned Senator Mitch McConnell. (Livewire)
  • Wingnuts? We Got’em - Gun-toting, welfare-taking Wingnuts in very far northern California in the county of Siskiyou have voted to secede from state and form their own, better (whiter? Yes.) state of Jefferson. They’d like southern Oregon’s separatists to join them, too. (Think Progress)
  • Out of Options? - Jacques Rogge, the International Olympic Committee’s outgoing president, has said the world organization can do little to nothing to stop the anti-gay laws during the Sochi Winter Games.

    Hey, sport, how about boycotting or canceling the games? Or maybe the world will do it for you. (Gay Star News)

Happy Hour News Briefs

News straight-up

Rev. Fishsticks should get off the cross, someone needs the wood. Probably to burn on a lawn.

  • Intolerance! - Why can’t gays be tolerant when all Xristian Xrazies want is to legally discriminate against them? Why?! Do those bakers in Oregon have any self-awareness? No, they do not. But they do know that Thor will provide, which is why they closed their business down, you know, so Thor would provide. (Christian Post)
  • Cracking the Code - Score another victory for World Nut Daily Fresh on the heels of their success in deciphering The Kenyan Usurper’s mooslin wedding ring, World Nut Daily has figured out that Obama is sending secret code message to the Mooslin Bro-hood. With his feet. (World Nut Daily)
  • benghazi, Benghazi, BENGHAZI! - Winguttia’s favorite son Joe Wilson (R-You Lie) wonders if there isn’t some wag-the-dog going on with Syria to distract everyone from the real scandal: benghazi, Benghazi, BENGHAZI! (HuffPo)